tvo14 Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Taken from the now infamous top 30 Chuck Norris Facts... Changed Chucks with Sean and here ya go... Original link here http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty Sean Taylor's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 4654 8.03 Sean Taylor does not sleep. He waits. Sean Taylor does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Sean Taylor counted to infinity - twice. Sean Taylor sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled Football ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Sean roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. Sean Taylor's penis is so large that it actually warps the fabric of space-time. Indeed some physicists now theorise that the passage of time is mearly a byproduct of Norris' colossal erections. This is known as the "Sean Taylor" big **** theory of space-time". If you can see Sean Taylor , he can see you. If you can't see Sean Taylor you may be only seconds away from death. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Sean Taylor Sean Taylor is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for arms and helmet. Sean Taylor built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Sean met all three bullets with his Goatee, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. The chief export of Sean Taylor is pain. When Sean Taylor sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Sean Taylor has not had to pay taxes ever. Sean Taylor was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Sean omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. As a teen Sean Taylor impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history. Sean Taylor sleeps with a night light. Not because Sean Taylor is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Sean Taylor Sean Taylor has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Sean Taylor smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong. A blind man once stepped on Sean Taylor's shoe. Sean replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Sean Taylor!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Sean Taylor Sean Taylor can touch MC Hammer. Sean Taylor is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Sean Taylor Sean Taylor can unscramble an egg. Sean Taylor once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. Sean Taylor ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. Sean Taylor appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Taylor replied, "That's no glitch." If Sean Taylor is late, time better slow the **** down. Before he forgot a gift for Sean Taylor , Santa Claus was real. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Sean Taylor can actually tackle you yesterday. They once made a Sean Taylor toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PotomacSkinsFan Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Best post EVER these things are hilarious. great idea switching to Sean Taylor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
herrmag Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Taken from the now infamous top 30 Chuck Norris Facts...Changed Chucks with Sean and here ya go... Original link here http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty Sean Taylor is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris Sean Taylor appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." Ooops, missed a couple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CooleyKills Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 These are the top 30 - but not random. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsFan47 Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Sean Taylor can kill him and take it. There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Sean Taylor. Sean Taylor has recently changed his middle name to "****ing." When Sean Taylor sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Sean Taylor has not had to pay taxes ever Sean Taylor won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living **** out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Sean Taylor. In the movie “Back to the Future” they used Sean Taylor' Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later was the cause of his Parkinson's disease. Sean Taylor always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust. Sean Taylor can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Select, Start using only his erection. Crop circles are Sean Taylor's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down. When Sean Taylor goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. Sean Taylor once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Sean Taylor could use to kill you, including the room itself. Sean Taylor has two speeds: walk and kill. Sean Taylor is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. Sean Taylor can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. It takes Sean Taylor 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes. Sean Taylor is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's ****. Sean Taylor can divide by zero. When Sean Taylor does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. Sean Taylor puts the m's on M&Ms. Sean Taylor was a hidden playable character on Mortal Kombat 2 on the Sega Genesis. Sean Taylor is known for his modesty but readily admits that he is the 8th wonder of the natural world Sean Taylor goes to the toilet once a month, if he needs to or not. Sean Taylor burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with water. There are in fact 31 letters of the English Alphabet however only Sean Taylor knows what the extra 5 letters are. Occasionally Sean Taylor will call up the Power Rangers just to say hi. Sean Taylor has no concept of time, if you go to his house you won't find a single clock. When you ask to leave because it's getting late he stares at you blankly until you sit back down. Sean Taylor can believe it's not butter. Sean Taylor once ate a banana without having to peel it. Every piece of furniture in Sean Taylor' house is a Total Gym In a recent interview, Sean Taylor told Entertainment Tonight co-host Mary Hart that his most memorable role was when he played the third breast on the hooker in "Total Recall". Sean Taylor once did a back flip off the Great Wall of China. Sean Taylor doesn't need to swallow when eating food. Sean Taylor caught all 386 pokemon in just under 2.7 seconds. He says he won't trade any of them for anything. In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Sean Taylor replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed. Sean Taylor broke his own leg, purely for the sake of winning the paralympics. Sean Taylor will never fully be male nor female. Doctors once asked him which he preferred. He gave them an ad for a Total Gym. Sean Taylor frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the **** out of little kids. Sean Taylor doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days Sean Taylor does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Sean Taylor goes killing. If you look in a mirror and say "Sean Taylor" three times, he will appear and kill your entire family... but at least you get to see Sean Taylor. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Sean Taylor and that you will be handicapped if you park there. Sean Taylor is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ****ing Indian. Sean Taylor was the original Danny Tanner on the hit family sitcom, "Full House". He was replaced by Bob Saget after an unfortunate incident with one of the Olsen triplets. When Sean Taylor was driving he saw a sign that said, "Caution: Small Children Playing." So he slowed down, but then it occurred to him: Sean Taylor isn't afraid of small children. If Sean Taylor is late, time better slow the **** down. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Sean Taylor, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten. Sean Taylor invented cancer because he was tired of killing people Superman owns a pair of Sean Taylor pajamas A Chevy truck was totalled in a car accident. It hit black ice, then hit Sean Taylor. You tell me what did the damage. Everytime Sean Taylor hears the term ‘Virgin’ Mary he laughs out loud… It used to be called the Tower of Pisa…until Sean Taylor decided to roundhouse kick the **** out of it Sean Taylor kills 14 white people at the end of every week just to prove he isn’t racist. Sean Taylor lost his virginity before his dad did. Sean Taylor only masturbates to pictures of Sean Taylor. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Sean Taylor brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Sean Taylor roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. Sean Taylor is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Sean Taylor Sean Taylor was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Sean Taylor smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Sean Taylor–more than meets the eye, Sean Taylor–robot in disguise,” and starred Sean Taylor as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided. Sean Taylor used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn’t, he replied, “Of course I can, I’m Sean Taylor,” and roundhouse kicked him in the face. If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Sean Taylor. On the 7th day, God rested…. Sean Taylor took over. When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Sean Taylor plays dead. When playing dead doesn’t work, he plays zombie. Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Sean Taylor. Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Sean Taylor, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Sean Taylor. God offered Sean Taylor the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability. When Sean Taylor was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC. Sean Taylor drinks napalm to quell his heartburn. A duck’s quack does not echo. Sean Taylor is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly. Sean Taylor once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face. Sean Taylor’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye. Sean Taylor doesn’t believe in Germany. If you want a list of Sean Taylor’ enemies, just check the extinct species list. Sean Taylor has never blinked in his entire life. Never. Sean Taylor doesn’t need to swallow when eating food. If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Sean Taylor. Ironically, Sean Taylor’ hidden talent is invisibility. Sean Taylor eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot. Sean Taylor owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card. Sean Taylor invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Sean Taylor is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat. Sean Taylor invented water. Sean Taylor went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Sean Taylor yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!” One time while sparring with Wolverine, Sean Taylor accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter. Contrary to popular belief, Sean Taylor, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield. Sean Taylor is Luke Skywalker’s real father. Sean Taylor does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it. Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Sean Taylor roundhouse kicked every tree in existence. In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Sean Taylor can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skins4eva Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :allhail: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NawidMS Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 As a teen Sean Taylor impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history. lmfao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wantarace17 Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 hahahhahahaha thats awesome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImmortalDragon Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 As much as I love Sean Taylor, just copying the same joke and replacing the name is just completely stupid. Come up with new jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skins84 Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Sean Taylor is luke skywalker's real father! LOL "Luke I am your father" -Sean Taylor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvo14 Posted January 12, 2006 Author Share Posted January 12, 2006 Darth Taylor!!! Sean Vader!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjcdaman Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I can't believe all of those were made up for Chuck ****ing Norris! I guess he's a decent martial artist, although I'm sure there are plenty of others who can stomp him in the ground. I lost all respect for Chuck when he starred in the greatest show ever known to man....."Walker, Texas Ranger." That, ladies and gentleman, is the MOST RIDICULOUS show! Absolute garbage! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvo14 Posted January 12, 2006 Author Share Posted January 12, 2006 Dude, its a joke. They also made top 30 facts for Vin Diesel and Mr. T also on that link Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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