Fresh8686

16 hours ago, Renegade7 said:

Unofficial Cannabis Thread, huh?  I'm down.

 

East Coasters, any of ya'll planning a trip to Boston after July 1st?  I'm going to give it sometime to settle in, but I'll check it out before Xmas.  I wanted to take the train, BFF said "drive, don't risk it, they gonna expect out of towners".

I'll be waiting till later in the year like you for my Boston Weed Tourism. But, I'll be doing my thing in Cali during the summer to check our their Rec. Did the same thing in Barcelona Spain with their clubs a couple years ago too.  

2 minutes ago, Renegade7 said:

Ya, my understanding is DC is one foot in - one foot out right now on this one.  Any word on when they'll have stuff like coffee shops, this feels like only semi-legalization/decriminalization, not what Colorado is doing.

Yea, it can be a little risky. One of my favorite places had the cops shut them down, but luckily no one got prosecuted, not even the vendors. I've also seen dudes get shaken down at some of the more shadier house-based pop-ups. But, yea I have no idea when things will get more stable. It's kind of bull**** how they got DC in this legal limbo.

1 hour ago, BenningRoadSkin said:

It’s donation or you buy something else and the weed is a gift.

 

You can only get a “free gift” up to three grams. You can only carry three grams on you and you cannot have weed on you on federal grounds.

Actually you can transfer up to an ounce as a donation and can't have more than two o's on you at a time.

https://mayor.dc.gov/sites/default/files/dc/sites/mayormb/release_content/attachments/I-71Factsheet.pdf

I don't know how you can have 3 mature plants growing and stay under that two ounce rule. Especially if your growing 6 footers. 

23 minutes ago, TheGreatBuzz said:

I’m not saying this separating thing is right but at this point, shouldn’t people at the border be expecting that?  And they choose to come anyways?  Doesn’t seem like a good decision on their part.

Would you mind explaining why that should that be expected? Is it because it's a natural next step of detainment? And also, isn't there a difference of process between trusting that a country will treat those children with kindness and empathy, versus a country that loses kids and treats them as a burden barely worth affording human decency towards?

Are you considering the emotional upheaval a person is dealing with that is bad enough to make a person want to leave their home country and risk coming here illegally? I'm not asking this as a call for sympathy, but to highlight that those kind of pressures don't really give them many options that would be termed a "good decision".

Like the guy in the very beginning of that Houston article posted earlier.
 

Quote

Esteban Pastor hoped U.S. Border Patrol agents would free him and his 18-month-old son after they were arrested for crossing the southern border illegally last summer.

He had mortgaged his land in Guatemala to fund his sick toddler’s hospital stay, and needed to work in the United States to pay off the loan.

 

Instead agents imprisoned the 28-year-old in July for coming back into the country after having been deported, a felony. They placed the toddler in a federal shelter, though where, Pastor didn’t know. Three months later, in October, the father was deported — alone. His child, he said agents told him, was “somewhere in Texas.”

 

“I cried. I begged,” he said. “No one could tell me anything.”

As soon as I read the part about the yellow bracelet, I thought about Jews being forced to wear the yellow star of David in Nazi Germany. I know they're not the same, but we're closer to that kind of **** than a year before.

9 hours ago, Chew said:

That's one thing other places have on CO.  I've heard of the pop-ups, never seen 'em before though.  Sounds kind of like a food truck hub but for weed LOL. 

And I'm with you on particular strains and growers.  I'm a creature of habit and once I find what I like, I rarely break from it.  We only buy from The Green Solution.  Their weed is all natural and organic.  They grow most of their own stuff. 

I'm not sure this strain was created by The Green Solution (though I haven't found it anywhere else when I searched), but they have a newer joint called "Sour Ghost," a blend of two legendary, award-winning strains: Sour Diesel and Ghost OG.  Both hybrids, and can be traced back to Afghanistan.  Sour Ghost calms me and mellows me out.  I don't try to get too high on this strain, I usually toke lightly and just kinda ride the wave.  I'm totally coherent, just chilling really hard.  

When I feel like joining Richard Dreyfus on the alien ship at the end of Close Encounters, I smoke Ghost Train Haze.  Instantly alters my mind state and I'm able to leave my body. 

What all strains do you prefer?

Yea it’s cool, it’s got like a swap meet/flea market feel mixed with a club and rooftop restaurant experience for the one I went to. But there are also others that are just straight up some dudes house filled with little tables with vendors behind them. I love the CO dispensary experience too, it’s more professional, but that grassroots personal experience can be badass when it’s done right. 

That Ghost OG sounds nice. One of my favorite strains is chemdawg, which I’ve read is like the daddy of sour diesel and OG Kush (genetically speaking). I had some ghost train haze live resin when I was in Colorado last year from good chemistry and that **** would blow my top off with its head high. I ****ing love hazes like that or super silver haze for sativas. I’m also digging Durban poison by itself, the whole GSC/Thin Mints/Gelato crosses with Durban P are cool too, but i like that unadulterated landrace feel. 

You got some good taste man. 

For Indicas, my favorite right now is platinum bubba and King Louis. I’m also feeling this strain thats been created for some rapper named Currency, called Andretti OG. 

5 hours ago, No Excuses said:

I used to go to a pop up in Adams Morgan but it doesn’t happen anymore and I haven’t found a replacement since.  

That sucks man. There are places online where certain ones advertise and also instagram is loaded with them. 

On 5/22/2018 at 5:57 PM, No Excuses said:

I have recently shifted to a delivery service in DC. It's legit and always on point.

 

I can't wait for the day we have full legalization but this works for now.  

Have you tried any pop-ups? I’m feeling some of those even more than Colorado’s dispensaries cuz you got like 4-12 different vendors to choose from, free dabs, raffles, and sometimes free edibles like tacos during cinco de mayo or whatever. 

Some can can be sketchy as ****, but the better run ones are pretty cool. 

Do any of y’all have a favorite strain or is it whatever you can get your hands on? 

Man, I’m name brand as **** when it comes to weed. I need to know the lineage and prefer to know the grower in some way too. And I’m all about mixing and matching different terp profiles for maximum effect.

27 minutes ago, AlvinWaltonIsMyBoy said:

I know we all want Trump to go down, but let’s try to keep it as real as we can in here.

I am. Kush has got a **** load of potential legal exposure from that 666 property, he was lobbying internationally for help there during the campaign. Plus, by his accounts he was responsible for trumps digital campaign which is more potential exposure. 

Second you have guliani going on tv and saying kushner is disposable but Ivanka isn’t. What kind of message does that send?

kushner will flip on trump if he’s facing time and any information he is privy to will make it to mueller. Kush’s Dad is in federal prison right now, he’ll be quick to counter any “fall on your sword” talk from trumps side. 

24 minutes ago, DogofWar1 said:

 

Also its disheartening, the number of mediots who take Kushner's getting a clearance as him out from under criminal investigation.

 

One or two of two things happened.

1) Trump changed the law (as per above)

2) Kushner sang like a canary and gave away the entire place

 

Neither really helps Trump in this mess.

Exactly, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Kushner has turned informant and if so it could be said that he would be more valuable reporting on impropriety occurring during classified meetings while on a tight leash.

He has a 6 hour meeting with mueller after a 1st interview that went 3 hours, which means way more follow-up questions. Then, kush’s lawyer comes out and tries to thread the needle of implying his client is a witness rather than target while also admitting that mueller did NOT give him that explicit assurance. Which means he has some other assurance, or else his lawyer would be doing more to protect him from exposure. And this is happening all the while the 666 property is hanging over Kush’s Head. 

22 minutes ago, Dan T. said:

 

 

I am convinced it was Trump who had the affair with Playmate Shera Bechard and Broidy agreed to be the fall guy.

 

 

Especially since he has a history of paying off other people's mistress in order to cash in on investment deals and contracts.

 

Quote

He had been involved in this kind of arrangement before. In 2009, Broidy pleaded guilty to a felony charge of rewarding official misconduct; he stayed out of jail by testifying against his co-conspirators. He gave $1 million in illegal gifts to New York State officials, and the state invested $250 million with his investment firm. One of the interesting details was that as part of the gifts, Broidy paid $90,000 to the mistress of one of the New York officials.

19 minutes ago, Kilmer17 said:

"abuse" is in the eyes of the beholder.

Eh, sure there can be a subjective component, but if we're being intellectually honest, the majority of instances of abuse will be quite clear.

Using the EPA, to create or remove rules that enrich companies at the expense of the environment is an abuse or misuse of it's designed function. Repeatedly lying over and over again as the President is an abuse or misuse of the public's trust. Gutting the CFPB and dropping it's various investigations into auto-lending, student loans, and other issues are an abuse and and misuse of it's mandate.

The clearer the function or intent of an organization, the easier it is to recognize when they diverge from it.

 

Fear of someone abusing a system of accountability should not preclude us from enacting that system. Instead it should motivate us to create further checks and balances around that potential for abuse. While also signalling to us that we have a way of doing things politically and societally that needs to be improved.

Are humans capable of creating a department or organization that is wholly devoted to ethics and the truth? Can the integrity of that organization maintain itself long enough for people to actually trust and rely on it? To give it the teeth it needs to actually hold government or the media or whoever accountable?

I wonder sometimes, how do we motivate the right people to seek office and keep out the wrong ones? Those who actually care about the country and want the best for it, rather than these con-men, parasites, and extremists.

Trump was the absolute dumbest response to the corruption and terrible culture that is pervasive in Washington. But, that choice was a genuine reaction to that issue for many people. An issue that still very much needs to be handled.

Hopefully, we're getting some good people motivated to seek office in November.



 

Thought this was an interesting (and long) read.

14 minutes ago, Bang said:

I think if more education is being shown to lead people away from a particular ideology, then those who follow the ideology need to look at that.

Unfortunately, all too often when they do, this does not lead to any sort of introspection or self examination. It leads to the same thing lesser intellects and self centered people always resort to, pointing fingers and blaming everything else, and never entertaining the possibility that the flaw may lie in their ideology..

 

Screaming the education is flawed is exactly the sort of idiocy that would cause smart people to leave, and attracts the morons.

 

~Bang

Yup, introspection and self-awareness are often painful and a lot of people are too weak to handle the pain/stress of owning up to their mistakes so they project that stuff onto others.

To change takes effort and discomfort and those people don't want to take that on for a better understanding. That's why there will always be people willing to be conned. They want to believe the lie, it's more comfortable and easier for them, even if it's ultimately hopeless. 
 

51 minutes ago, Riggo-toni said:

Fresh,

I think we will see that happen in mid-term elections. A Dem-controlled congress will go a long way towards curtailing Putin's Orange Crush

I hope so. It'll be interesting to see how we eventually move forward as a country from all this, especially after Trump is gone. With technology people are becoming more aware than ever of the events around them, while also more vulnerable than ever to misinformation. Eventually those two arcs have to be resolved in some way. Trust, accountability, and transparency will have to be earned all over again, with the voters holding the line of accountability by being informed and accountable voters and consumers themselves. 

Sometimes I zoom out and take a macro look at the shifts and swings of our country and I wonder what will be different, as the next set of actions and reactions take place. What happens if Dems do take control from November to 2020 and beyond? How will the Republicans respond? Especially, as the Millenials ascend into the forefront of political relevancy and the older generations fade out of political power. Will they stick to the Newt Gingrich script or will they adapt and increase their quality as a political party to stay relevant?

A lot of people in this country feel left behind and forgotten by the American dream. A lot of them voted for Trump as a **** you to the government. What happens to them if the economic pressures and hopelessness continue to rise?

We need healthier people in power, who have been trained to handle the pull of appetite when in office so they don't sell people short. People who have been trained to reconcile the individual wants and needs of people with the shared space of community and nation. People who are smart enough to realize that if you keep allowing companies and individuals to parasite of the American people it will eventually cause the people to turn on those parasites. People with courage to be authentic and actually speak their mind and risk taking a stand, rather than just pivoting, deflecting, and parroting the same talking points over and over again.

Better quality leaders, discourse, and behavior which all starts with us having those very same qualities and demanding it from the people we choose to have as representatives. And all that starts with practicing those qualities and behaviors in every day life, challenging ourselves under stress and risk to hold up to those standards, so they break and build, again and again, like working and building a muscle.

It's easy to complain about the state of things in this country, but what are we all going to do about it? What will we choose and decide to practice and invest in that we weren't doing before, to cause all this?

People talk about how our government is a system of checks and balances, but forget that the voters are also a part of that system and in a very real way the ultimate check and balance.

There are different qualities of democracy, and higher quality democracies require informed voters, who can sift between quality and bull****. 

I wish our country would start having a national conversation about our responsibilities as people exercising that ultimate check and balance. A lot of people are waking up to this dereliction and getting to work, but I wonder if there is a way to get everyone involved in raising their standards, regardless of political leanings.

Be what you want to be, believe in what you believe in, but do your damn due diligence. Understand that if a base is involved enough as that final check, these representatives will get in line. We have that power, but it is also a responsibility that must be exercised wisely. 

We as a people need to be able to recognize what high quality democracy looks like, so we can aspire to it and push back on iterations that fall short of it.

 

37 minutes ago, Zguy28 said:

What is unique to the transgender movement is that it is full of men who identify as women and vice versa, but by nature of what they are doing, they are essentially eroding what "man" and "woman" actually mean. If gender itself is fluid (not individual cultural norms such as what is considered masculine clothing in a time period, since that changes), then what purpose does it serve at all?

Gender fluidity does not invalidate gender solidity. In nature there is a spectrum with solid poles of male and female that softens and commingles the genders in the fluid middle. Its been historically the case in animals, so why wouldn't humans also have potential access to the different ranges of the spectrum as well? Why wouldn't we be able to deal with both solid and commingled categories of people at the same time?

https://blog.nationalgeographic.org/2013/09/22/7-gender-altering-animals/

"Some animals don’t just appear to change genders—they actually turn into the opposite sex. Clown anemonefish all start out as male. If the female dies, the dominant male can change sex and become female. Another male will become the dominant male."

Don't you also have both a masculine and feminine side? A yin and a yang? And if so, would you be able to gauge based on how they express within you, in which part of the aforementioned spectrum you're placed on? I know I do and I can. But, I've consciously worked at it and faced the stress of who I am as a man, by challenging what it even means to be a man. Eventually, realizing that there was more to masculinity and individuality, than the box society currently has it caged in.

I know you were talking more about physical traits, but there are mental and emotional traits as well. That's the amazing thing about the structure of nature. That spectrum I mentioned above expresses across multiple layers/tiers in a synergistic fashion, that is both foundationally sound as a nested principle and open to further expansion and change. It's an amazing dynamic balance of both solid and fluid, that protects the integrity for access and change across both directions.

Matter to energy, solid to soft, man to woman, reality to potentiality, and everything in between, all able to be superimposed onto each other and operate in concert, while also operating individually.

It's a beautiful design. God or whoever did a great job creating it  
 

Nope, sorry Lady. You don't get to say you're fighting oppression and use that as an excuse for exercising bigotry.

We can protect both women and transgendered rights at the same time. We can recognize and accept a groups right to exist and identify as who they naturally feel to be while ALSO protecting women from those who would abuse that fluidity to prey on women.

That's my main point and I'll park it for now, so I don't derail the rest of the thread.

9 hours ago, techboy said:

 

Congratulations, you have found LSFs blind spot (most of us have one somewhere). Many people have been stunned over the years at the apparent incongruity between her views on this issue and everything else.

 

Many have attempted to reason with her about it.

 

Many have failed.

 

I was personally so surprised that I sought out a friend who is lesbian and pretty active in the activism side of things in DC, and asked if it was a common view. She assured me it was not, and honestly seemed a bit perplexed.

 

This is pretty clearly an emotional issue, not intellectual (as seen in dismissing Harvard University as part of a left wing conspiracy to subjugate women), so I suspect it's a waste of time to argue about it, and she's basically told you as much.

 

Sometimes we just need to accept people for who they are, and LSF brings a lot of positive and different perspectives to the conversation.

As long as that blind-spot doesn't lead into outright bigotry I'm okay with just saying my piece above. But, she's toeing the line with some of those blog articles.

I need to read up on the rules again, but we don't allow people to come on here and post antisemitic zionist consipiracy theories do we? Or to push articles that fly in the face of science in order to paint a group of people as being sick or perverted for being who they naturally are? We need to have these standards apply equally to all groups right?

I read your last sentence and imagine if someone said to me, "yea he/she is racist, but they bring a lot of positive and different perspectives to the conversation, so sometime we just need to accept people for who they are". Nope, not gonna happen and I'm saying that as someone who genuinely likes most of what LadySkinsFan posts. In fact, I would be writing the same **** right now for her if someone stepped out of pocket and started posting anti-women or anti-gay writings.

Who we are in this world, comes down to what we are willing to accept and reject. Those choices big and small form or deform the integrity of our principles.

Hopefully if there any transgendered people reading this forum, they'll see the push-back to this stuff and won't feel like this place is unwelcome to them.

25 minutes ago, LadySkinsFan said:

So, because I am one of the lumped together alphabet soup, I should stop accepting biological reality and recognize that men and women who have mental disorders can willy nilly decide that they are the opposite of their biological sex?  

 

No.

 

Here's an article for your edification. I suggest you read it with an open mind and really think about what this embrace of all things trans means for the female sex. Then if you want to further discuss, we can PM or talk on the phone. I am not changing my mind and accept this trans ideology.

 

https://lascapigliata8.wordpress.com/2018/04/25/why-i-decided-to-stop-using-the-term-transwoman/

 

I read that blog post you posted and it doesn't have any data or citations. Frankly it comes across as prejudiced conspiracy theory rhetoric, that pushes this agenda that ignores the scientific data around genetics and transsexualism, for this fear that somehow there is some plot afoot where men are identifying as women in order to rob women of their power and voice in society.  

It is not a mental disorder to have a brain wired in such a way that it expresses a greater degree of gender fluidity. I understand you have a chip on your shoulder towards men, but you're acting from the same damn script bigots used to marginalize homosexuality.

Anyways, here's an article from Harvard about this topic. I suggest you read it with an open mind...

http://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2016/gender-lines-science-transgender-identity/

"At the forefront of this, transgender identity is complex – it’s unlikely we’ll ever be able to attribute it to one neat, contained set of causes, and there is still much to be learned. But we know now that several of those causes are biological. These individuals are not suffering a mental illness, or capriciously “choosing” a different identity. The transgender identity is multi-dimensional – but it deserves no less recognition or respect than any other facet of humankind."

 

2 hours ago, Zguy28 said:

So what do you consider biblical sexual standards?

What do you consider to be biblical sexual standards? Do you consider them to be healthy, given what we know nowadays?

From what I can see, I don't see very healthy sexual outlooks from religious people. It's very controlling, repressive, and demonizing of natural urges, that with training and understanding don't have to be handled or characterized with such fear and vitriol. Especially, when it comes to female sexuality.

Do you agree with that characterization?


 

1 minute ago, No Excuses said:

 

 

For what it's worth, some pro-life advocates have recently come out in favor of paid parental leave for instance. At least on the conservative side, some are open to paid maternity leave.

 

It's a small, not very vocal minority, but it's there. However, congressional Republicans and most major advocacy organizations are either completely hostile towards it or dead silent.

Right, thanks for that. So where does that leave us? Appreciating that minority in theory, but in practice focusing on the larger or more vocal/active and extreme majority?

How much credence do we give to that minority in discussion, so those who belong to it feel seen, while still emphasizing the reality that pro-life in practice does not jive with their professed parameters? 



 

19 hours ago, youngestson said:

 

I don't think you're being fair here, and I'm in the cliche group of wanting abortion to be legal, safe, and unnecessary. The people who make up the "pro-life" spectrum are a wildly diverse group ranging all over the spectrum from Alex Jones disciples to people to the left of Sanders. 

You and other posters on here are correct that the pro-life group is not a monolith, however the other posters on here are basically saying, you may not be a monolith, but the legislative agenda and actions taken so far from the pro-life crowd are so prevalently sourced from the more extreme voices of the group, that "y'all" may as well be monolithic... so monolithic in practice if not identification, is still for all intents and purposes monolithic in wholesale.

Does that make sense?

However, I'd be open to information showing evidence of action from the pro-life crowd that runs counter to it's more extreme iterations. I'm by no means an expert on the subject, so there may be holes in my game.

51 minutes ago, visionary said:

 

I thought this was an interesting and ironic excerpt

"This all ultimately seems to explain why House Republicans were so eager to get these memos into the public. It seems as though they thought the memos would prove Comey had illegally leaked classified information and lied about it. It seems as though they were basing this entirely on a bit of contradictory—and likely inaccurate—Fox News reporting. And it seems that this contradictory, likely inaccurate reporting was done by Fox News to help validate this Donald Trump tweet, which was sent two days after Comey’s Senate testimony"

On 4/17/2018 at 12:31 PM, Renegade7 said:

 

Very much agree.  I can't go back and forth with you on this discussion the way I want to while in the office, but I'm happy that you don't feel alone and you feel that he's tried to remind of that (same as me). 

 

I'll also add (why I'm typing this now instead of waiting), that's there's just somethings that we can't all tell each other, not here, maybe not even period.  I tell ya'll what I tell ya'll because I believe it will help, but yes, if you think that's bad, think about what I haven't told you. 

 

I also have to live with the fact that if something were to happen to me, there's no way to scrub this site of what I've posted and I won't be around to defend it.  It's interesting how I've had this thought process almost from get-go, and I'm not scared of what the two people that know I post like this (my father and little sister) would find (most of it, including stuff that was said out of anger, they already know because I told them to their face).

 

Edit:  I also want to add that I've been baptized not once, but twice, so this whole "who has what right" discussion I totally understand.

I feel you. There is a risk to being open and vulnerable about this stuff for many. When we take a position in life, it often means either defending it or facing some kind of consequence for doing so. Personally, I'm not too bothered by it in most cases, but I completely understand it.
 

On 4/17/2018 at 1:12 PM, Zguy28 said:

I'm glad you guys are willing to open up about your stories. Everybody has one, most keep it to themselves, afraid of sounding crazy or are just private. My story is fairly ordinary with one exception. Hope you don't mind me sharing.

I grew up in a normal American middle class home, occasionally went to church at the local Methodist, but it was very formal and I used to fall asleep. I always believed Jesus was a real person, but never understood what he did. Never really even remember hearing it, except from my Mom and that was at bedtime prayers with "remember, Jesus died for all people." I lived my life loosely with women, booze, and fast cars. Cliche I know. Then I had an experience that changed things. My good friend from growing up and later work, went off and joined the USAF. We got into an argument over something related to it, I called him a fool, and we parted ways badly. Well, we didn't speak at all, and within a few years he died after running a triathlon from a aneurysm. I was crushed. Never got to say good bye. I went to the memorial service. His pastor from his time in Arkansas came up for it, since he had become a Christian. That's when I heard the good news of Jesus Christ, what my mom had told me, but also that he had risen. I don't remember much else the guy said except "if you don't know you are saved, you probably aren't." I broke out in a sweat, I left abruptly left and had a literal experience of burning on my feet. They felt on fire, no kidding. I was screaming in the car "Oh Lord please! I'm sorry!" as it felt like flames licking at my feet. My wife thought I was off my rocker when I came home and told her I realized I was condemned and judged and going to Hell. I took out my grand mother's old King James bible with all her margin notes and read through Matthew. Long story short, I was saved through Jesus Christ and live my life for him. My wife soon after put her faith in Jesus as well, and we both were baptized together in the Baptist church where I am an elder.

It was also cool to find out later that my friends family and their church were praying for me specifically throughout and I didn't know it. But God heard them.O Lord, thank you for that.

 

Thanks for taking the time to share your experiences Z, I appreciate it. It's a hard thing to feel that fire and change yourself. For me, what redemption truly is, is recognizing deep in your soul that a line was crossed and living everyday dedicated to not crossing that line ever again. And that sentiment is hard to truly share with people unless they've had that moment of self-recognition of wrong that shakes them to their core like you experienced.
 

On 4/18/2018 at 4:58 AM, Kosher Ham said:

If I told you that I was "A" God...would you believe it ? 

Could you disprove it ? 

 

I have another question for you ... how do you think other/similar Gods/religions that are represented technically through religious written word ? 

Are they wrong ? 

Let's not get into a who has or doesn't have absolute proof debate

Rather than absolute proof, it would be more productive to focus on consistent repeatability and probability.

I can't speak for others, but I actually am open to many religions while belonging to none. I have a connection to Jesus, but I'm not a Christian. I also have a connection with the Egyptian Gods Horus and Bes, but I don't "worship" any of the three (I practice relational equality with all things). I just have connections with them, while at the same time feeling that they are expressions/symbols/vehicles/shapes of the very fabric of reality that makes everything we can conceive of. 

Whether they "exist" in a tangible/provable way or not doesn't matter to me, because there is an energy or pattern that does exist which provided the impetus for humans to begin speaking of these deities. There are things inside us that yearn to protect others, to see the truth, and those things have existed and shaped the direction of human life for the entirety of it's history. These patterns are not only inherent, but essential to accessing greater levels of complexity and potentiality as human beings.
 

10 hours ago, Renegade7 said:

 

It's okay, I took it as you wanting to get that off your chest and not pointed at anyone.

 

To answer your question:  Yes, I have, big ones and little ones that added up.  

 

So, one that set the tone and saved my life:

 

In my OP I admitted that I was so angry with God and the concept of it, that I turned my back on the whole thing, refused to believe he was out there because of what was happening to me and others and I was on my own.  I'm Bi-Polar, I did not know that then, but I know that now (several years later).  I got expelled from high school, got dumped by my gf who found out I was banging chicks at different schools, and got fired from my job because I wouldn't stop getting co-workers to buy cigarettes for me (I had my first carton before I was old enough to smoke) and that all happened in the period of about 30 days. You can actually see this slide into chaos in my post history I've been here so long.

 

I was also a writer, poetry and short stories especially, and one day I started a story and just kept on going.  I had just finished reading Dante's Inferno so that should give you a hint into where that was heading.  Leading up to this point I was so f'd up that I would leave school in the middle of IIS (saying I was going to the bathroom) and once outside start thinking about which car I wanted to jump in front of (in my head leaned towards buses so I wouldn't flip over them, I would get hit slide down and get run over).  I'd leave my notebook of writings somewhere I could tell someone where to find it in case I finally did do it.  

 

So here I am, in my house, cutting off people left and right and I finally get to the point in what I'm writing that I just stopped.  I started getting emotional realizing what I was reading was coming out my head.  I went to the beginning and read what I had, which was well over 50 pages at that point, then turned the computer off and was praying within a couple days.  I couldn't do this alone, but I didn't know who to turn to or what I was dealing with, I just knew something was horribly wrong.  God has never said a word to me, I'll tell anybody that.  He may do that for other people, but for me when I'm talking out loud in peace, I feel like just talking about it, no filter and someone I don't have to explain anything to, helps and the answer will come to me doing that (if it isn't made obvious to me via signs following that prayer moment).  I have also lost count of the number of signs I've seen and sometimes cuss when I pray (I don't use Lord's name in vain when I pray, but pretty much everything else in English language is fair game considering the circumstances).

 

So smaller example, my parents come down to Hampton Roads this past weekend to withdrawl money from their credit union (want to transfer to different bank, in middle of that).  Neither of them like it, and make it all the way down here and transmission starts going bad, bad enough they can't trust it not to cut off and stay off.  06 BMW, so you know how a parking light bulb is like your college tuition, so when he called me and told me transmission, I said I was coming regardless of the result.  Got them cigarettes and something to eat, dad was at shop owned by guy my parents bought the car from (second one I helped them get).

 

You know how much he charged them?  $200.  I told my dad with a straight face that he had to stop coming down here for this, but if this happened in NOVA this wouldn't of been $200.  Is that all dumb luck? Hey, I'm getting tired, don't answer that, that was rhetorical.  I have a couple questions, but I can ask them based on whatever response you have to this one.  

Awesome man, thanks for sharing this. Isn't it funny how things happen when we're on the edge of things and something has to give and a breakthrough comes? I have a lot of similar stories like what you posted as well man. I never felt the holy ghost or whatever in Church. I remember one time these baptists were trying to almost force a manifestation of the spirit from us and I ended up trying to fake speak in tongues as a kid so I could finally get to use the bathroom.

But, I also remember on my 1st or 2nd night in jail after being arrested by the DEA and ICE on major drug charges... it was almost 1 in the morning and the whole cell block was quiet and I was just laying there with my eyes closed and saw behind my eye lids the form of a being take shape and send me - to what still to this day - is the purest form of love I've ever experienced in my life. It came out of nowhere and I wasn't looking for it, or expecting it, or on drugs or anything, and it is still one of the most amazing moments of my life. It let me experience that I was part of a family beyond what I currently knew. That all that love and care I'd been pouring out into my prayers, rather than asking and trying to take during prayer, was going somewhere. I wasn't being "saved" but I was loved and in a way maybe even protected? Either way, the love was more than enough and something I've held onto in traumatic times.

I also had an experience not too long ago, where I'm just taking a shower and minding my own business and out of nowhere I'm transported to experiencing Jesus being put on the cross, as Jesus. Feeling what he felt, the pain of each nail, the sadness, and the anger and disappointment of those who were doing this  to him/me and turning their back on love and humanity. It wrecked my **** and since then I breakdown crying every time I see a documentary or movie showing the crucifixion. My body holds the memory of that vision as strongly as if it happened to me (I'm not trying to say I'm Jesus, just in case anyone was wondering. I've been working hard on empathy and sensitivity so that shift of growth in those areas, probably had a part to play in this experience).

And really as crazy as those things are, none of them have changed my life more than what happened to me 5 or 6 years ago in Costa Rica... but I'll hold off on talking about that for now.