"Monsters"
saw it on Showtime this weekend.. indie movie about giant alien monsters in Mexico..
seemed like a decent enough idea,, a probe discovers alien life in the solar system, and in bringing back samples breaks up and crashes over Mexico, spreading the spores which take root, and now there's gigantic fifty foot tall octopi with giant spider legs roaming around.
Half of Mexico and up to the Texas border is declared the Contaminated Zone, and the combined militaries try and contain the creatures.
(We know this by the continual loop of cnn-like starlight footage of one of the monsters being shot at by fighter jets that we see on pretty much every TV)
so then there's this photojournalist and his boss's daughter is trapped down there, and it's his job to get her across the infected zone and back to the states..
Sounds like it might be cool right?
right. It is if you like long introspective indie-flick crap about whether or not she wants to get married, and his attempt to bang her while weighing the conflict in his own heart about his son, which has a whole back story, and the fact that he makes a living off of human suffering...
and unless I miss my guess, there's supposed to be some monsters in here right?
Not so fast. Lots more indie movie angst and douchery from these two .. and while we cross the entire Infected Zone practically on foot, we see one monster.
In the end, two monsters show up and when at long last it looks like someone is finally going to get eaten, the monsters tenderly touch tentacles and the wandering couple learn the true meaning of love from gigantic space octospiders... who kill no one, eat no one, and only want to be left alone, if not for the nasty ol' military who wants to kill them.
What a waste of time.
~Bang