Capitalism...a Ha Ha funny

Traditional Capitalism

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income

Enron Venture Capitalism

You have two cows. You sell three of them to your

publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your

brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an

associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax

exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an

intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority

shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed

company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one

more. The public buys your bull.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the

size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then

create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them

again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open

another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others

for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION

You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment,

high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION

You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...

In the interest of fair and balanced.

Feudalism:

You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism:

You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.

Bureaucratic Socialism:

Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.

Fascism:

You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism:

You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need." Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

Russian Communism:

You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.

Perestroika:

You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.

Cambodian Communism:

You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Dictatorship:

You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

Oh, I think it might be time soon for the ant and the grasshopper story again .

"gbear & PCS"---NOW ''THAT'S" FUNNY!!!!!!!! :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rofl: :rofl: :lol: :thumbsup:

I'd say that Russian Communism was more along the lines of:

You have two bottles of vodka,

the party comes up with a 5 year plan to increase cow production,

you get drunk,

there are no cows.

I like that Terry. That's very funny.