Predictions

[Larry]

• The Redskins are facing a team that's noted for their secondary, and for their lack of ability to stop the run, So the Skins will pass on 70% of their first-half plays.
  
• Hassleback will be knocked out of the game early in the third quarter.
  
• Lacking a backup QB, the Skins ask for permission to add Joe Theisman to their roster. The Eagles agree, but ESPN will not allow Joe to play unless the Eagles agree to play his broadcast-booth partner. (Being up by three scores at the time, the Eagles agree).
  
• Faced with a QB who hasn't played football for 15 years, and playing a team that's noted for being easy to run against, Steve sends everybody deep, keeping tailback Morton in to block. (Rock Cartwright, averaging 6 yds/carry, is sitting, for some reason.)
  
• The Eagles, knowing Steve won't run the ball, assign their "Paper Lion" to play MLB. His instructions are to count "Thousand 1, Thousand 2", then rush the passer.
  
• Morton sees the "blitz" coming, but thinks the rusher is trying to fake him out, and veers left just before making contact. The "blitzer", who doesn't know any fakes, comes straight in. Morton "whiffs" on the blitz.
  
• Theisman is sacked by his broadcast partner. (Postgame quote "Oh, how I've longed to do that.") Partner becomes the oldest person to record a sack in an NFL game.
  
• Bruce Smith announces his intention to play for nine more years.
  
• Both "players" are injured in the collision, forcing ESPN to broadcast the remainder of the game without color commentary.
  
• Despite the eventual 5-touchdown margin of victory, and the meaningless affect of the game on the standings, ESPN reports ratings went up.