Daily Press:NFL is the land of confusion

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NFL is the land of confusion

David Teel

December 4 2003

Tampa Bay and Oakland are DOA. Cincinnati and Dallas are AAK.

Such is the NFL's state of confusion as the regular season's fourth quarter beckons. Up is down and down is up, except in Washington, where the Redskins once again can RIP.

Twelve games into the 16-game schedule, the playoff race appears less scrambled than usual. But some of the teams involved defy belief.

Dallas, and not just its cheerleaders, alive and kicking? Cincinnati tied for first place? Oakland and Tampa Bay dead on arrival?

Nick and Robin Bakay didn't bet that parlay back in August and for good reason. The Cowboys hadn't shown a pulse since 1998, and the Bengals were more snakebit than a chubby mouse at a vipers' convention. The Raiders and Buccaneers? All they did was play in last season's Super Bowl.

About the only storyline that makes sense is the Redskins'. At 4-8, they will miss the playoffs for the 10th time in the last 11 seasons, prolonged futility matched only by the Arizona Cardinals, New Orleans Saints and Seattle Seahawks.

Coach Steve Spurrier's future in Washington is uncertain, but this much is not: The man is more conflicted than Congress. His offense is balanced one week, pass happy the next, grounded the next. Spurrier calls the plays for 11/2 seasons, delegates the role to offensive coordinator Hue Jackson for two weeks and then takes the job back.

Dude, you're a scratch golfer. Pretend you're on a fairway at Congressional, pull the 6-iron, hit the daggum ball and live with the results.

Meanwhile, Spurrier's defensive coordinator from last year is the biggest thing to hit Cincinnati since the Ickey Shuffle. Under Marvin Lewis' firm direction, the Bengals are tied atop the AFC North at 7-5 with the Ravens entering their showdown Sunday in Baltimore.

Cincinnati last made the playoffs in 1990, and a subsequent series of high-profile, first-round draft picks produced busts such as David Klingler and Akili Smith and broken bodies such as Ki-Jana Carter. But with last-ditch victories engineered by the likes of Jon Kitna and Peter Warrick, these Bengals appear immune to the franchise's run of bad luck.

Reeling from three consecutive 5-11 seasons, Dallas, like Cincinnati, trolled for a new coach during the offseason. Owner Jerry Jones hooked the Tuna, and it turns out that even at age 62, Bill Parcells is sushi-grade.

Overcoming his team's offensive shortcomings, Parcells has the Cowboys (8-4) one game behind the Eagles entering their encounter Sunday in Philadelphia. Sure, NFL policy that softens bottom feeders' schedules helped Dallas and Cincinnati, but there's no denying the impact of Parcells, who won two Super Bowls with the New York Giants, and Lewis, who coordinated Baltimore's defense during its championship run in 2000.

Conversely, the schedule-makers do no favors for defending conference champions, but that doesn't explain the collapses of the Raiders (3-9) and Bucs (5-7). Tampa Bay has too many head cases (Warren Sapp, dearly departed Keyshawn Johnson), Oakland too many old guys (Tim Brown, Rich Gannon, Jerry Rice).

As last season's Super Bowl teams stagger to the finish, many of this season's playoff contenders meet Sunday in a succession of intriguing games. Good as Cincinnati-Baltimore and Dallas-Philly could be, they may not match Seattle-Minnesota (bet the over), Indianapolis-Tennessee (will Peyton Manning ever win a playoff game?), Kansas City-Denver (will Dick Vermeil become the first coach to guide three franchises to the Super Bowl?) and Miami-New England (Ricky Williams versus Bill Belichick).

Four weeks remain. Sixteen teams at .500 or better are vying for 12 playoff spots.

The Redskins? They play Sunday in the Meadowlands against the Giants. Both teams need help - ASAP.

David Teel can be reached at 247-4636 or by e-mail at dteel@dailypress.com

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