stratoman Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 1. Only in America ... can a pizza get to your house > faster than an ambulance. > > 2. Only in America ... are there handicap parking > places in front of a skating rink. > > 3. Only in America ... do drugstores make the sick > walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while > healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. > > 4. Only in America ... do people order double > cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. > > 5. Only in America ... do banks leave both doors > open and then chain the pens to the counters. > > 6. Only in America ... do we leave cars worth > thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the > garage. > > 7. Only in America ... do we use answering machines > to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a > call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the > first place. > > 8. Only in America ... do we buy hot dogs in > packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. > > 9. Only in America ... do we use the word 'politics' > to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' > meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. > > 10. Only in America ... do they have drive-up ATM > machines with Braille lettering. > > EVER WONDER????????????????/ > > Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? > > Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth > closed? > > Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins > Lottery"? > > Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? > > Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? > > Why is it that to stop Windows 98 or XP, you have to > click on "Start"? > > Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and > dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? > > Why is the man who invests all your money called a > broker? > > Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic > called rush hour? > > Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? > > When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests > it? > > Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? > > Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal > injections? > > You know that indestructible black box that is used > on airplanes? > Why don't they make the whole plane out of that > stuff? > > Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? > > Why are they called apartments when they are all > stuck together? > > If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the > opposite of progress? > > If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport > the terminal? > > > Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 Originally posted by stratoman If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? In Oklahoma City, they have two airports: Will Rogers International, and Wiley Post Field. Name another city where the airports are named after two guys who died in the same plane crash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 :notworthy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Montilar Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 9. Only in America ... do we use the word 'politics to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'' :rotflmao: That about sums up my thoughts on career politicians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waldo da Magnificent Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 1. Only in America ... can a pizza get to your house > faster than an ambulance. Well, if I'm hungry, I do want it fast, and if I'm unconscious, I really don't notice . . . > > 2. Only in America ... are there handicap parking > places in front of a skating rink. But it evens out - the cars parked there rarely have handicapped stickers or plates. > > 3. Only in America ... do drugstores make the sick > walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while > healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Damn real - I don't want to interact with all those sickies when I'm fiending for a Camel. :mad: > > 4. Only in America ... do people order double > cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. No way. McDonalds and Burger King are world wide. > > 5. Only in America ... do banks leave both doors > open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America would people deposit and withdrawl large amounts of $$$ and feel entitled to take the pens with them. > > 6. Only in America ... do we leave cars worth > thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the > garage. Oh, you've met my wife. I don't understand it, either. :doh: > > 7. Only in America ... do we use answering machines > to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a > call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the > first place. > See #6. I still don't understand it. :doh: :doh: > 8. Only in America ... do we buy hot dogs in > packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. > Yup, and we LIKE it that way! > 9. Only in America ... do we use the word 'politics' > to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' > meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. Politics = many bloodsucking creatures. What's your point?? > > 10. Only in America ... do they have drive-up ATM > machines with Braille lettering. Oh c'mon. Like Stevie Wonder don't drive . . .:rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stratoman Posted October 29, 2003 Author Share Posted October 29, 2003 Waldo I'm LMFAO!!!! :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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