Alien vs. Predator Update

[Glenn X]

(Note: My apologies for the lateness of this review. I meant to write and post this back in mid August, right after I first saw AVP, but a series of personal issues kept this task firmly ensconced on the proverbial backburner.)

Surprisingly, AVP Delivers the Goods

While most critics have dripped acid on Paul Anderson's Alien vs. Predator, largely because of prima facie objections to the very idea of a film with "vs." in the title (or perhaps because, to quote a line from an Adam Sandler comedy, they're "cynical assh*les"), I found myself pleasantly surprised by AVP, enjoying it a great deal.

Candidly, upon learning a couple years ago, back when AVP was still in early development, that writer-director Anderson had hired middle-of-the-road makeup FX house Amalgamated Dynamics Incorporated (instead of the superlative Stan Winston Studio) to realize the creatures in AVP, I dialed down my expectations for the film considerably. However, even here, AVP soars, with ADI turning in what is clearly their best FX output ever.

AVP succeeds where the oppressively dark, fundamentally unappealing Alien 3 and strangely goofy, utterly unexciting Alien Resurrection failed: AVP is the first Alien film since 1986's Aliens that's a genuine crowd-pleaser, the kind of rip-roaring action-adventure flick that makes you want to immediately see it again. (In fact, had I not had other engagements to attend to after initially seeing it, I would've surely paid -- well, maybe snuck back in -- to view it a second time forthwith.) This isn't to say the film is without its problems (two primary ones of which I'll address later). It's simply to say that those problems are vastly overwhelmed, in my opinion, by the film's multitude of entertaining moments.

Is AVP as great as Aliens? No, absolutely not. (Then again, few films are.) But I think comparing AVP to Aliens is to employ the wrong calculus. Honestly, AVP is not competing with that film, in much the same way that Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country was not competing with the sensational Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. No, Star Trek VI was competing with the largely reviled Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. Similarly, AVP is really competing with the underwhelming (and aforementioned) last two Alien pictures; the last Predator movie, 1990's Predator 2 (which I've always thought was overly maligned) was released so long ago and did such middling box office that it hardly figures in the popular imagination anymore.

I could now go into a lengthy breakdown of the film's plot and characters, but my feeling is that there are plenty of places one can go to get such info (e.g. Yahoo Movies). So I've decided that I'll be more impressionistic in my review, giving you my broad feelings about AVP, mainly as they relate to criticisms I've heard regarding the film.

Some have complained about AVP's characters, arguing that they're mere sketches and not the colorful, indelible personalities that James Cameron provided us in Aliens and director John McTiernan and screenwriters Jim & John Thomas provided us in Predator. While I think that's a valid argument, it's worth pointing out that, by comparison, the original Alien "suffers" from the same "problem," so much so that an exasperated Ridley Scott was once said, "The characters in Alien are as defined as they need to be, no more and no less." And just as the characters in Alien were largely -- and almost archetypically -- defined by their professions and their professionalism (or lack thereof in certain cases), the characters is AVP are defined by their jobs and the proficiency with which they do them.

The one criticism I've heard that struck a chord with me was in regards to Charles Bishop Weyland (Lance Henriksen) being set up in AVP as the "Father of Robotics" and yet we never see any robots in the film. But, from what I understand, an early draft of AVP featured robotic exo-suits not unlike the famous Power Loaders from Aliens, but these high-tech suits were ultimately excised for budgetary reasons. Nonetheless, it would've been nice to have seen something in AVP of the robotic variety -- but it's not a particular bothersome matter for me.

Some have also complained that many of AVP's characters are dispatched too quickly, that they'd have liked more time to get to know these individuals. However, to me, that's part of what makes AVP so interesting. In that way, it's a real throwback to horror films of yesteryear, films that weren't afraid to toss virtually everyone to the wolves (and AVP features some pretty fearsome wildlife). Almost like clockwork, just when you think, "Oh, Anderson's spent too much time developing this character -- giving him/her good lines, telling us stuff about his/her past -- to just off him/her," that person buys the farm. It's delightfully perverse, and it's what the horror genre has historically been about.

Then there are the complaints about the film's storyline, with some asserting that it's too simple (e.g. humans find buried pyramid; humans enter buried pyramid; sh*t hits fan) and others arguing that it overshoots the mark (e.g. humans enter buried pyramid and discover that it's remarkably complex, revealing all manner of information about the origins of various human civilizations, namely that the titular Predators -- much like the Monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey -- made a marked impact on the future course of homo sapiens long, long ago). Honestly, I really had hardly any problems with the film's storyline. Even the rather silly, pulpy, Thrilling Wonder Stories-esque quality of AVP's grander narrative conceits didn't bother me that much. (For instance, such conceits didn't bother me that much in Stargate, so why should they bother me here?) And the simpler aspects of AVP's plot were, in my view, it's strongest suits, for they grounded the movie in a kind of gritty, easily understood "reality," the kind of reality that was very effective in, say, John Carpenter's better actioners, from Assault on Precinct 13 to Escape from New York.

Yes, it's true that AVP never achieves the epic heights of Aliens, the best film out of both the Alien & Predator movie franchises, a film so complex and dynamic that it required a running time of almost 140 minutes to tell its tale. But, as I said earlier, Aliens was -- and remains -- a very, very special film. Aliens is the like the filmic equivalent of one of those great, epic rock songs from the 1970s, like Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven"; AVP, at approximately 100 minutes in length, is more like a Ramones tune: short but sweet.

In fact, two of AVP's biggest problems (see, I told you I'd get to them ) seem to be the result of simple, breakneck-speed sloppiness: 1. the Alien lifecycle is inexplicably abbreviated, with chestbursters making their nasty debuts in what seems like tens of minutes rather than tens of hours; 2. the Predators' long-range weapons (e.g. spears and throwing stars) are acid-resistant, yet, for some reason, their close-quarters materiel (e.g. wrist blades and body armor) are not.

Regarding Issue One, I've heard that Anderson actually intended to account for this in the film, explaining that the Predators had altered the DNA of the Alien Queen they'd captured to seed their battlegrounds, causing the eggs she produced to contain embryos that matured more quickly than usual. This expository material was allegedly cut by Fox because they felt it needlessly slowed the pacing of the film. If true, Anderson must be given something of a pass by the legions of fanboys who've ripped him a new one on this matter.

Regarding Issue Two, I've heard from some fanboys familiar with the AVP comic books who say that this matter is explained therein thusly: the Predators must earn every acid-resistant armament they receive. So if the Preds in the AVP movie didn't have acid-resistant wrist blades or body armor, that's on them. But it's also on Anderson, as primary screenwriter and sole director, to have somehow explained this in his film. Just the same, I'm willing to let Anderson slide here, as the best characters in AVP to have provided this information to the audience were the Preds themselves, a decidedly taciturn group of individuals, wouldn't you say?

All in all, AVP did its job. With the exception of a (vexingly typical) handful of overly-jittery/super-slow shutter-speed shots in otherwise well-made action sequences, AVP is a polished, eminently entertaining piece of work. Thanks to Anderson's direction, ADI was forced to abandon the Mr. Hanky-looking design of Alien 3's creature, as well as the beastly, overly slimy, inverted kneecapped appearance of Alien Resurrection's ravenous extraterrestrials, and provide the silver screen with its sharpest xenomorphs since Stan Winston's Oscar-winning work. Moreover, if you can't bring yourself to buy it when Sanaa Lathan's Lex throws in with and throws down alongside the Big Ugly Motherf*cker, nor get certifiably juiced when the Alien Queen finally extricates herself from Predator-imposed bondage and goes on an angry rampage worthy of a T-Rex in a Jurassic Park movie, then I'm afraid AVP simply isn't for you.

*** (3 out of 4 stars)