Brave Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 "Yeah, I guess it's something, but barely.<br />Like a goodnight handshake from Heidi Klum." - Om<br /><br />A goodnight handshake is a good indication that you've been on a date with said Heidi. That can't be all bad. In fact, the possibilities are downright breathtaking. [Vision turns swimmy and strange, dreamy music pipes in].<br /><br />You didn't meet Heidi and charm her into a date, no sir. You won a date with her in a contest. Met her in a public place with her "people" and at no point during your brief time together were the two of you going to be alone. Still, the tailgate party went well and it was obvious to her that you were well-known, though none of the people called you by your given name. The game went even better. A thorough spanking of the Cowboys and you let loose with the little kid in you. We're not talking happiness here folks, but ecstasy. It dawned on Heidi that she had never seen anyone so completely euphoric over a ball game and now here there were 80,000 people acting the same way. She didn't get it ... but it was contagious and she enjoyed herself.<br /><br />After the game the date "schedule" called for dinner with Heidi (and her two assistants). Luckily, you curtailed the liquids over the course of the day just enough to be able to hold an intelligent conversation. Wisely letting her take the lead here, you listened to tales of her career twists, turns and travels. No need to fake interest, it was interesting. You noticed Heidi ordering her third drink before dinner was even served. You also noticed that she was not including her "assistants" in the conversation. <br /><br />After dinner the date was officially over. A quick ride back to meet the rest of her people and your current brush with fame would be forever a memory. In the back of the limo you turn to her and ask if she'd like to meet some interesting people. Local legends you might say. Fully expecting a gracious but quick decline, you were shocked to hear her instruct the driver to follow your directions. For the first time since the first quarter of the ball game, you are nervous. The liquid courage was waning.<br /><br />Destination reached. You ask to go to "The Room." Never before have you even considered trying to get in, but never before have you had Heidi Klum on your arm. The power of a beautiful woman should never be underestimated. One quick look at Heidi (followed by another quizzical glance at you), a hushed conversation behind a menu, apparent confirmation of just who it was you were with and the two of you are being escorted to the back, up the steps and into the "The Room," which has already filled with cigar smoke. Introducing yourself and (needlessly) Heidi to Mr. Snyder, Mr. Jurgenson and the gang. Funny, you expected to see Mr. Spurrier, but he was not around. Mr. Snyder looked like he needed a moment to remember his marriage. Jurgy leaned back grinning and you could see his mind recalling days gone past when such a meeting might have presented opportunities. Pleasurable opportunities.<br /><br />Heidi, of course, had not really wanted to go on this date. These things were always uncomfortable. Same gawking, nervous fools asking the same questions and giving the same compliments. The sooner it was over the better was her typical mindset going into a day like this. Which is why she was completely shocked to find herself actually having fun. The party, the game and the dinner were actually enjoyable. Now, in the midst of people she did not know (though their stature was undeniably evident) she almost felt a little giddy. Perhaps she had a few too many drinks but then again, what the he!!, and she ordered another. She was impressed by the fact that you did not appear to be there to show her off , but were more interested in having conversations of your own, leaving her free to wander around and speak to whomever she chose. Good move. Splendid move. Though you were not hanging on her arm, you did notice her at all times. Damn she's pretty. You saw her look up from her own conversation just long enough to give you a quick smile. Hmmmm.<br /><br />Had this not been Heidi Klum you would have felt you were halfway home. Things couldn't have gone better at any point. This was Heidi, however, and it dawned on you that you'd be lucky to get a handshake <img border="0" title="" alt="[smile]" src="smile.gif" /> when all was said and done. And, strangly, that would be OK.<br /><br />Finally, it is time to depart. Upon returning to the limo you learn the Heidi's assistants had already left. Heidi asks if you wanted to be dropped off at your home or if you were OK to drive. Home sounded good.<br /><br />So there you are. It was far more than either of you had expected. For you, the day of a lifetime. For her, an unexpected good time. As you pull up she touches your arm (not the first time) and tells you that this has been the best "one of these" she's ever been on. Though you're not sure that's a great compliment, she smiles and looks at you sincerely. Butterflies are running rampant inside your stomach but it's not lost on you that she IS, by her choice, here with you alone (but for the driver) and the date should have been over hours ago. As you both step out of the limo and onto the sidewalk the awkwardness which has been gladly scarce all day rears it's ugly head. For the first time you are at a loss for word or action.<br /><br />Heidi moves toward you with arms outstretched ... but only to give a cheek-to-cheek hug you might expect more from a Middle Eastern diplomat than a supermodel. And she steps back and holds out her hand ...<br /><br />As you reach to shake her hand the entire day runs through your mind. You know it can't be true but you get the feeling she's as nervous as you are. And she's looking at you and smiling again. And you've both been drinking. Courage and confidence have never been higher so you pull back your right hand and take her wrist in your left, dropping your right shoulder to her waist and in an instant you've got her in a fireman's carry and are moving toward the front door. She screams and you can hear the limo door opening. Now you've gone and done it! Quite certain you are about to receive a beating, be arrested and make the front page of tomorrow's Post, you begin to slow so as to be able to put her down and apologize ... damage control at it's most desperate. <br /><br />It dawns on you that she's laughing. And you hear her telling the limo driver it's OK. And she's not fighting to get out of your grip. And as you wrestle with the meanings of these things she leans down and whispers in your ear:<br /><br />"How 'bout one more drink."<br /> <br /> <small>[ March 13, 2002, 07:12 PM: Message edited by: Brave ]</small> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skins57 Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 Brave, you have a lot of free time don't you? <img border="0" title="" alt="[big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <br /><br />Then the alarm clock goes off <img border="0" alt="[mecry]" title="" src="graemlins/mecry.gif" /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Om Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 Bravo, Brave. <img border="0" title="" alt="[smile]" src="smile.gif" /> <br /><br />When you finish the NC-17 version, please e-mail it directily to Om@extremeskins.com.<br /><br />I'll be waiting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brave Posted March 12, 2002 Author Share Posted March 12, 2002 Never fear, Om. Your place as board scribe has never been more safe. You have my apologies for my rare, brief intrusion onto your turf. <img border="0" title="" alt="[smile]" src="smile.gif" /> <br /><br />And you know, I could never make the NC-17 (or any other version) as good as you can make it in your own mind, so I'll do well to leave it there.<br /><br />Don't know why that "handshake" line of yours got to me so.<br /> <br /> <small>[ March 12, 2002, 11:41 AM: Message edited by: Brave ]</small> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Om Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 Apologies, hell. That was great. <img border="0" title="" alt="[smile]" src="smile.gif" /> <br /><br />Amen on the other. We'll each deal with this in our own way ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brave Posted March 12, 2002 Author Share Posted March 12, 2002 "Heidi Klum has the ugliest nose, I ever seen" - Mick<br /><br />See what I mean about the "Mickpicking?" That nose looks OK to me. First time I've noticed it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[smile]" src="smile.gif" /> <br /><br /> <img src="http://i.cnn.net/si/features/2001/swimsuit/gallery/heidi/heidi_3.jpg" alt="" /><br /> <br /> <small>[ March 12, 2002, 06:47 PM: Message edited by: Brave ]</small> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 That was the "clean" version of the letter Brave sent to Penthouse Forum. <img border="0" alt="[laugh]" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" /> <br /><br />I never noticed her nose either. Just those piercing eyes, luscious lips, silky-soft hair and EVERYTHING BELOW!!! <img border="0" alt="[Evil]" title="" src="graemlins/evil.gif" /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrangeSkin Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 I have a nose complex as well, but I've never noticed Heidi's. Now Bonnie Bernstein and Celine Dion...blech. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 Great read Brave.<br /><br /> <img border="0" alt="[Cheers]" title="" src="graemlins/cheers.gif" /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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