One Shot Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Closing eyelids for a heavenly sleep, That requires a sense of mindless deep Through hills of thoughts whose sides are steep, What hidden meanings will lurk down there? These martyred dreams prove a lair, That speaks of things beyond a stare, They lie like dwellers submerged in canyons, What congregations will be encountered there? Unleash this glow, these fresh antiques That surpass those thoughts our mouths may speak, They wait for the minutes we might reach To reveal themselves through delicate speech? But have some caution as you find the clear These reflections may cause our soul to depart The epic balance that we hold dear To our hearts, to our hearts… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark The Homer Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Did you write that? It's a bit unusual for a poem, isn't it? It looks like you have three different rhyming patterns going on. Interesting. Closing eyelids for a heavenly sleep, That requires a sense of mindless deep Through hills of thoughts whose sides are steep, What hidden meanings will lurk down there? These martyred dreams prove a lair, That speaks of things beyond a stare, They lie like dwellers submerged in canyons, What congregations will be encountered there? Unleash this glow, these fresh antiques That surpass those thoughts our mouths may speak, They wait for the minutes we might reach To reveal themselves through delicate speech? But have some caution as you find the clear These reflections may cause our soul to depart The epic balance that we hold dear To our hearts, to our hearts… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Shot Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 Did you write that?It's a bit unusual for a poem, isn't it? It looks like you have three different rhyming patterns going on. Interesting. Closing eyelids for a heavenly sleep, That requires a sense of mindless deep Through hills of thoughts whose sides are steep, What hidden meanings will lurk down there? These martyred dreams prove a lair, That speaks of things beyond a stare, They lie like dwellers submerged in canyons, What congregations will be encountered there? Unleash this glow, these fresh antiques That surpass those thoughts our mouths may speak, They wait for the minutes we might reach To reveal themselves through delicate speech? But have some caution as you find the clear These reflections may cause our soul to depart The epic balance that we hold dear To our hearts, to our hearts… hmmm, I actually like your arrangment of it more. Thanks.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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