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George Bush, "My Top 10 Reasons for Nominating Harriet Miers!"


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Hoping to squelch his conservative critics President Bush today gave his top 10 reasons for nominating Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court.

10) I felt sorry for Ruth Ginsburg being the ugliest justice

9) My momma and her momma have been friends since grade school.

8) She used to hepp me with my whorenndous speilling.

7) She convinced me that she was an illegal Mexican immigrant

6) It'll keep her out of Texas for a long time

5) I couldn't convince former FEMA director Michael Brown to take it

4) She let me touch'em

3) She promised me she'd overturn ROVE vs. WEIGH (ya'll know how I feel about my boy Karl)

2) I did not have sex with that woman! (What the hell, it worked for Bill)

1) Teddy Kennedy promised to drive her to her swearing in ceremony

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I just have to add this one too!


First Lady Answers Conservatives Call for a Fight

Responding to republican conservatives call for a fight with democrat liberals over the next Supreme Court judge, First Lady Laura Bush announced today that she plans to "kick Sen. Nancy Pelosi's ass".

"I'm primarily doing this to remind the President that his party has control of the House and Senate and that he can nominate anyone he wants. On top of that I just don't like that botoxed ***** with the glued on smile". Mrs. Bush went on to say, "I was taught to always stand up for myself, and unfortunately I think George may have been on National Guard duty when his daddy taught that lesson. I told George that Hillary has shown bigger cahones then he has on this subject and he told me I was more right than I could possibly imagine. Whatever that means"?

Mrs. Bush said her cahones remark must have really hit a nerve with George because he used an old Texas colloquialism to describe Hillary. He said, "She's got a face that could make a freight train take a dirt road". Mrs. Bush said that George always makes her laugh with his witty little sayings.

Although President Bush's approval rating continues to fall precipitously, even among conservatives, a poll taken by an independent 'think tank' shows an almost 90 point approval rating for the First Lady.

This same poll had Mrs. Bush in a virtual dead heat with Queen Latifah for who conservatives favored over Harriet Miers. We should however point out that a little more than 6000 other names surfaced as alternatives to Ms. Miers. Ms. Miers did have a slight edge in the poll over Barbara Streisand, any of the Dixie Chicks, and "that cute babe over at Starbucks".

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