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MVN: Suddenly, the World Makes Sense


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Suddenly, the World Makes Sense


August is finally here. Gone are the melancholy days of spring and early summer filled with celebrity felony trials, dubious space shuttle launches, and steroid denials and confessions. If the Democrats and Republicans want to fight about a Supreme Court justice nominee, document Deep Throat, or string up Karl Rove, go right ahead. What’s that? People use dots instead of dashes? Venus and Serena are competing to make their big screen debut as a bisexual hooker? “The Simple Life” was renewed?

I don’t care. I’ve got football to watch.

(Actually, I do care that Destiny’s Child sells logo’d panties at their concerts. To kids. For $20. Something is very, very wrong with that.)

I would contend, however, that things ARE getting better. I mean, the pandas have a cub , a women’s product is advertising to real-sized women, somebody caught a bear-sized fish, and the Iraqis are enjoying the celebration of freedom that is reality television! What’s not to smile about?

If that’s not enough, consider this: the NFL season has now begun. Training camps are open, players (for the most part) are reporting in, and two-a-days are the norm. The glorious goal of Opening Day is a mere 44 days away. Life for the Football Fan is returning to balance. You know the sun’s rising in the east when T.O. ends his Philly standoff, right?

So what’s the word in Washington?

~The Redskins breathed easy when Sean Taylor arrived at training camp, following months of excommunication, disrespect, and felonious pursuits. He expressed no remorse for not returning his coaches’ calls or getting into legal trouble. “Why was I not here? It was offseason,” Taylor said. “I could have returned his phone calls, but it was offseason.” Taylor’s buddy and part-time mouthpiece, Clinton Portis, had this nugget to share about Taylor’s litigation: “He shouldn’t be worried. They knocked everybody else’s trial back, so why would they make him come in September?” Portis said. “They put Michael Jackson’s trial back, and he ain’t got a concert anytime soon.” (I believe it’s high time for a Redskins Quotable segment on Hog Heaven…)

~Washington bid bon voyage to wideout Rod Gardner, shipping him to the Carolina Panthers for a conditional pick. Good move. While he shined in 2002 with more than 1000 yards, his play has been spotty since. Granted, he’s had a rogue’s gallery of quarterbacks delivering the ball, but that makes those easy drops all the more important. Gardner earned my Hang Your Head award more than twice last season, and I referred to him as “Parkay” at least four times. How’s that for an indictment? (There is, though, a nagging, quiet suspicion that Jake Delhomme is going to make him a star–or at least competent–down in Carolina.) Adieu, monsieur.

~Both first round picks have finally signed with the team. The future of Redskins quarterbacking, Jason Campbell, agreed to terms on Monday (8./1) and cornerback Carlos Rogers signed on Tuesday. Now if we can only get LaVar Arrington’s grievance settled once and for all…

~And the real competition has begun ‘twixt The Washington Post and Redskins.com. I’ve noted in this space how the two organizations have been at odds over the dissemination of Redskins news–both claiming the least bias. Each web page now features daily videos, photos, and interviews from training camp. Updates from both sites are almost hourly. Good stuff for those who feel the need to know how Patrick Ramsey blows his nose or that Gibbs had skim instead of whole milk on his Fruit Loops.

There’s a lot more moves, some under the radar, that I’ll be spotlighting in these weeks of the preseason. I’d really like to get to the Skins/Ravens scrimmage on Saturday, but we’ll have to see if my schedule permits. But I was able to chat with future Hall of Famer Steve Young. Here was the experience.

I hope all of you have made good with your spouses during the offseason. It’s time to catch every show on the NFL Network, time to wear your team jerseys, time to make fun of the Cowchips. It’s game time!

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