Om Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it, don't piss them away on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop. Q: Is beer or wine bad for me? A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables. Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain - Good. Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer? A: Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual expression and peace of mind. If you stop, you'll probably stress yourself to death in record time. Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: What's the secret to healthy eating? A: Thicker gravy. Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brave Posted October 27, 2001 Share Posted October 27, 2001 Well that's it then! I'm putting down this bag of "Tropical Medley" dried fruit snacks (seriously) and going to get a candy bar from the snack machine. And since it's Saturday, I'm leaving work and going home to the wife and kids. Thanks, Om. I thnk today is going to be a little more enjoyable now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@DCGoldPants Posted November 2, 2001 Share Posted November 2, 2001 no, I think the point was to put down the dried fruit and pick up a steak ------------------ <IMG SRC="http://www.extremeskins.com/ubb/ranks/flamer.gif" border=0> "You might as well bury me, for I am already dead!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Om Posted November 2, 2001 Author Share Posted November 2, 2001 Christ, Bufford, once you set your sights on that new icon, you really get after it. I think there's a thread on the "Redskins Store" forum you missed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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