Iraqi Celebrity Jeopardy

[Bounce]

Holy crap, this has got to be one of the funniest things I've ever read. It's brilliant.

Link to full article

TREBEK: And welcome back to this very special edition of Celebrity Jeopardy. We’re here with prominent figures from each of the three main cultural groups in Iraq, who have agreed to divide the nation’s land and oil resources based upon the result’s of tonight’s contest. Representing the Kurds, and in first place with two hundred dollars…. Massoud Barzani.

BARZANI: Th-thank you for h-having me, Alex. It’s an hon-please don’t kill me!

TREBEK: I’m… just switching to the next card. Why would I want to kill you? I don’t even know you.

BARZANI: Yes, that’s usually how it h-happens for us Kurds.

TREBEK: Right... and here on behalf of the Shi’ites, with negative eight hundred dollars, Moktada al-Sadr.

AL-SADR: MayAllahsmiteyoursoul.

TREBEK: What?

AL-SADR: Hmmm? Oh, yes, hello Alex, it’s a pleasure to be here. I hope to do very well for my people.

TREBEK: Yes, well, good luck to you.

AL-SADR: DeathtoAmerica.

TREBEK: I’m sorry?

AL-SADR: Oh nothing, nothing, just… just saying a prayer, you know. Before we start.

TREBEK: Ah. Very good. And finally, with negative one thousand dollars, and representing the Sunni population… Sean Connery? What… how in God’s name do you represent the Sunnis? Where did al-Zaubai go?

CONNERY: Oh, he was happy to let me take his place, he loves me. They just got James Bond DVDs over there for the first time. I’m bigger than Muhammad right now.

TREBEK: How did you even get in the building? What happened to the restraining order?

CONNERY: It meant about as much as my attempts to restrain your mother last night.

TREBEK: That is exactly why I got it in the first place! Why… why did they… you know what? Fine. Fine. Just answer for the Sunnis. I guess they wanted to throw their chances away.

:laugh::laugh::laugh: