Last Week Picks from THE Friday Football Fanatic

[Rocky21]

“And now the end is near and so I draw the final curtain…” It’s been a fun season. I suppose it would have been a more fun with a little less Eagles and Patriots and a little more Chiefs and Redskins but as Tony S. says, “Whadjya gonna do?” From the middle of a cornfield in Hanover County, here are the picks from THE Friday Football Fanatic.

Cincinnati (-3) at Philadelphia: We are now only weeks away from watching the Iggles self destruct in the playoffs. The wait is killing me. Do you think McNabb wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat thinking about Ricky Manning Jr.? Philly, you will never be champions. It’s just not in you. Pick: Bengals.

San Francisco at New England (-14): My favorite quote from Tom Brady: "Joe Montana was everything. He threw the ball great. He managed the game great. He made his other players great. Dan Marino could throw it great. John Elway could improvise great. Do I think I have any of those great qualities? I am working at it. I play a role on this team and it happens to be quarterback." Does he sound intelligent, or what? Pick: 49’ers.

Miami at Baltimore (-11): Since we’ve started rolling on the quotes, here’s one from Steelers’ defensive co-ordinator Dick LeBeau on Jamal Lewis, "You can't give him that cutback lane. He's so fast, and he sees it so well, that's where he makes the majority of his real long runs. He can also run away from you if he gets a little bit of crack." But he can’t run away from the cops. I would rather have a sister working at The Bunny Ranch than a brother who is a Dolphin Fan. Pick: Ravens.

New Orleans at Carolina (-8): The playoff scenarios are complicated but it looks like as long as the Jets beat the Rams (count on it), the winner of this game is in and the loser is out. Don’t forget the previous four Super Bowl participants (Patriots, Rams, Buccaneers and Raiders) all failed to make the playoffs the following season. Pick: Saints.

N.J. Jets (-3) at St. Louis: Thanks a lot Jets for giving me the Ralphie Treatment last week in the Pats game. This is hard to believe considering they’re 10 –5, but I believe they need to beat the Rams to make the playoffs. If they were in the NFC they would have clinched by now. Pick: Jets.

Atlanta at Seattle (-6): Looks like the bookmakers were right because Hotlanta has rolled over now that they made the playoffs. Losing by two scores to the Saints ain’t good under any circumstances. Apparently Vincent Price is dead and that creepy looking guy roaming the sidelines last week was the owner Arthur Blank. My bad. Pick: Seahags.

Tampa Bay at Arizona (-3): How about Anquin Bolden? 7 catches for a buck seven and a touch. Is he destined to spend an OJ like sentence in Arizona his whole career? And for the record if Denny Green hadn’t done the frickin’ quarterback shuffle in the middle of the season, the Cards would have won this awful division. They’ve got a term for that. It’s called, bad coaching.

Pick: Bucs.

Indianapolis at Denver (-9): "You can't knock the hustle. I mean, you see a brother getting broke off, you gotta like that. All I'm sayin' is don't stop breakin' the bread now." -- Edgerrin James. I’m no expert in slang but can anyone interpret this little gem for me? Anyone? Are the Broncos gonna miss the playoffs?

Pick: Indy.

Jacksonville at Oakland: By a show of hands, who here thinks Norv Turner will be the head coach of the Oakland Raiders next year? That's what I thought. Under pressure and with their playoff hopes on the line last week, the leader of the Jags Byron Leftwich choked like a dog. He went 6 -14 for 35 yards and they lost. And when betting on the Jaguars, just remember this team is coached by Jack Del Rio and they have not had a winning record for four consecutive years. If they lose on Sunday, make that five. No Pick: Currently off the board.

Kansas City (-3) at San Diego: Of special interest to Charger and Redskins fans. This is the game where LaDanian Tomlinson goes for the NFL consecutive games with a touchdown record currently held by two Redskin backs, John Riggins and George Rogers. Pick: Kansas City.

Dallas at N.J. Giants (-3): I know Parcells is trying to change the image of this troubled franchise but I’m afraid a lot of us remember Cowboys like owner Jerry Jones, arrested for fleeing the scene while a police officer was still writing him a ticket. Guess there’s nothing he can do about that guy. How funny is it the chosen one Eli Manning didn’t want to play for the 11-4 NFC West division Champion San Diego Chargers? Pick: Cowgirlz.