Here's the story in the paper in Philly loses

Here's what will happen when the Eagles lose the Super Bowl...

Sunday, February 6th

(Philadelphia-AP)--Philadelphia Police are reporting the number of arrests in the city's ongoing riots has now surpassed the 4,000 mark. There are numerous reports of widespread rioting, vandalism and the partial destruction of Lincoln Financial Field, where the city's Philadelphia Eagles football team plays their home games. The Philadelphia riots are being blamed on the Eagles' 35-13 loss to the New England Patriots in last night's Super Bowl.

Philadelphia fire officials have responded to hundreds of calls in the city including to the homes of Eagles' players Donovan McNabb, Terrell Owens, Jevon Kearse and head coach Andy Reid. There have also been reports of large fires being set in city streets. WSUK Radio is reporting portions of the city populace have stripped down to homemade loin cloths and are using their team apparel to set these large bonfires. There are some scattered indications many of these fires have been started using cans of Campbell's Chunky Soup.

In addition to thousands of arrests, Philadelphia Police Chief Seymour Butts says local hospitals are reporting at least 1,000 injuries and a significant increase in the number of attempted suicides by distraught Eagles fans.

Philadelphia Mayor Chuck Sunbigwun has issued a plea for the riots to continue until there's nothing left to burn or loot. "We've endured a lot in this city. The third, fourth and fifth Rocky Movies, Richie Kotite, Veterans Stadium...you get the idea. Perhaps it's time to just burn it all and start over again in New Jersey. And another thing. It's just not fair. Washington, New York and Dallas all have Super Bowl trophies. Why can't we? That's why I've assembled a group of rioters to leave Philly at once. They will visit all three of those cities I just mentioned in an attempt to get us a trophy, perhaps up to ten trophies. If there's one thing we know how to do in Philly...it's how to jimmy a lock. And if that doesn't work, we did bring crowbars."

The Philly Super Bowl Riots are now entering their 14th hour.