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what if.......

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I just came across this I dunno how though.......

Check the red part below........



And just wait till next year, folks ...

By Dick Heller


This prospective peek at the fun and games of 2005 guarantees it will be a better year for somebody, somewhere:

January — Oklahoma and Southern Cal drone through a lackluster BCS championship game in the Orange Bowl while Auburn demolishes Virginia Tech in the Sugar, boosting the Tigers to No. 1 in the final Associated Press poll and inspiring their fans to chant "BCS, What a Mess!" ... The lockout-laden NHL officially cancels its season and retroactively cancels the seasons of 2002-03 and 2003-04 because, as commissioner Gary Bettman admits, "almost nobody cares about us." ... Roger Clemens leaves his hometown Astros to return to the Red Sox and fulfill the Rocket's stated desire "to go out with a winner."

February — Major League Baseball sells the Washington Nationals to Bill Collins, who immediately says he will move RFK Stadium "lock, stock and crud" to Northern Virginia. ... With Karl Hobbs' George Washington team in the Top 25 polls and Maryland unranked, Comcast Center sprouts signs reading "Gary Must Go" and "We Want Karl." ... Concerned about the Redskins' lack of offensive production, Joe Gibbs signs Mark Rypien as his No. 1 quarterback, noting, "He's a young 42."

March — The Nationals smack the Orioles 10-2 in the teams' first exhibition meeting, and O's owner Peter Angelos demands $25 million more from MLB in mad money. ... Maryland repeats as ACC tournament champion, causing signs reading "Who's Karl?" to sprout all over College Park. ... After Redskins minicamp, Gibbs cuts Rypien and signs Joe Theismann as his No. 1 quarterback, noting "he's a young 55."

April — The Nationals open the season by losing to the Phillies 18-1 in Philadelphia, then drop their home opener to the Diamondbacks 23-2 at RFK after President Bush mistakenly throws out Sen. Hillary Clinton instead of the first ball. ... Red Sox ace Curt Schilling shuts out the Yankees on two hits while sporting the same bloody sock he wore during the 2004 postseason "because it inspires the guys." ... North Carolina wins its first NCAA basketball title since 1993, and some fans call for the Tar Heels' home arena to be re-nicknamed "the Roy Dome."

May — After the Nationals lose their first 16 games, manager Frank Robinson concedes they have a real chance to match the 0-21 start of his 1988 Orioles. ... With the pitching-poor Yankees playing under .500, owner George Steinbrenner fires manager Joe Torre and hijacks Lee Mazzilli from the O's, saying "what has Joe done for me lately?" ... Distressed by Maryland's offensive line play in spring practice, coach Ralph Friedgen announces he will enter graduate school and play left guard, center and right guard himself.

June — Tiger Woods regains his spot as the world's best golfer by beating Vijay Singh in the U.S. Open and then asks reporters, "Where the heck is Fiji anyway?" ... The astounding Wizards go all the way to the Eastern Conference finals, with the NBA honoring Eddie Jordan as coach of the year and Antawn Jamison as MVP. ... Kobe Bryant's Los Angeles Lakers defeat Shaquille O'Neal's Miami Heat in the tense seven-game NBA Finals, after which Kobe pleads total exhaustion and says he plans to recuperate in Eagle, Colo.

July — Back in form, Serena Williams beats sister Venus to win the Wimbledon women's final, then challenges men's champion Roger Federer to a winner-take-all match for the overall championship. ... Barry Bonds, totally free of BALCO and steroids, reaches the All-Star Game with a .242 batting average, six home runs and 28 RBI. ... Lance Armstrong wins a record seventh straight Tour de France, this time while riding a tricycle.

August — With the Nationals last in the National League East, owner Collins fires Frank Robinson as manager and hires Joe Torre; Washington wins its next 14 games to threaten for a wild-card berth. ... Still unhappy with the Redskins' offense after two preseason shutout losses, Gibbs asks George Michael and Larry Michael for permission to negotiate with Sonny Jurgensen, noting, "He's a young 71." ... With the Labor Day milepost approaching, the Red Sox lead Mazzilli's Yankees by 37 games in the American League East, prompting Noo Yawkers to blame the "Curse of the Bambino" — the club's sale of Babe Ruth to the Boston Braves in 1935.

September — With reports of steroid use swamping baseball, commissioner Bud Selig hires Pete Rose as his chief investigator "because I'm betting on him to give me an honest answer." ... After the Nationals fade from the wild-card race, Collins fires himself as ersatz general manager and hires Cal Ripken, causing Peter Angelos to demand another $10 million from MLB in mad money. ... When the Redskins lose their first four games, Gibbs blames Jurgensen's lack of experience and places a phone call to Sammy Baugh, noting, "He's a young 91."

October — With a late-season surge, Barry Bonds gets his final numbers up to .264, 18 home runs and 58 RBI to win baseball's first Unenhanced MVP Award. ... Behind Schilling's two shutouts, the Red Sox sweep the Cubs to snatch a second straight World Series for the first time since 1916 as the pitcher wins the Cy Young, MVP and 10 percent of Faneuil Hall. ... Peyton Manning of the Colts approaches midseason with 26 touchdown passes while younger brother Eli of the Giants has 26 interceptions.

November — Mike Tyson caps the most dramatic comeback in boxing history by beating both Klitschko brothers simultaneously to regain a one-sixth share of the heavyweight crown at age 39. Promoter Don King immediately announces plans to unify the title by matching Tyson against the other five alphabet-soup title holders and George Foreman at the same time. ... With the Dolphins lagging badly, owner Wayne Huizenga fires first-year coach Nick Saban and lures Don Shula out of retirement by offering him $12 million a year and a half-share of South Florida. ... As new coach Steve Spurrier scowls and flings visors from Abbeville to Yemassee, South Carolina's Game****s win their eighth straight game.

December — Announcing that "those old guys just can't get it done anymore," Gibbs trades two No. 1 draft choices to the Giants for Kurt Warner. Owner Dan Snyder promptly buys out Gibbs' contract for $32 million and, in a widely praised move, hires Steve Spurrier away from South Carolina. ... Maryland loses the Humanitarian Bowl in Boise, Idaho, when Ralph Friedgen, its starting interior offensive line, flunks out of grad school. ... Desperate sports columnist guarantees 2006 will be a better year for somebody, somewhere.

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