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The Own3d Thread.(Keep it clean)


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Sexiest trashman ever! - w4m

Date: 2008-05-21, 4:19PM MDT

I know you probably get this a lot, but you are the hottest garbage man I have ever seen. Every Tuesday, I wait at my window desperately at 8:00 AM waiting for you. I love your strong muscles; not matter how heavy my waste is, you have no problem lifting it. Sometimes I hide bricks in there just so I can see your sweaty big muscles in real action. You may know my house specifically because I always leave my old lingerie lying on top of all my other trash. I put it out there for you, you know. I want you to have them. Don't worry, I spray a little perfume on them before I toss them so they don't smell anymore. Anyway, if you like what you see in my trash, come inside sometime, there will be plenty more of where that came from. ;)

Love,

Your Secret Admirer

P.S. I'm single with no kids. All the diapers are from my grandmother who lives with me.

You wouldn't get this from any other guy

Date: 2008-04-24, 11:52AM EDT

Are you ready to be together forever baby? Somethings i will never to do you:

1. Give you up

2. Let you down

3. Run Around

4. Desert you

5. Make you cry

6. Say Goodbye

7. Tell a Lie

8. Hurt you

A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You know your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it. Hit me up

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Nemesis required. 6-month project with possibilty to extend

Date: 2008-05-07, 2:49PM PDT

I've been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I'm 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance. But somethings missing. I feel like I'm old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. I'm willing to pay $350 up front for you services as an arch enemy over the next six months. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when Im running to catch the BART and occasionaly whisper in my ear, "Ahha, we meet again". That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconsicuous pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.

British accent preferred.

found cat--black with white stripes

Date: 2008-05-19, 3:13PM PDT

Hi, I found a cat today near the arboretum. She's black with white stripes down her back. She seems a little standoffish. Does not get along well with children.

She doesn't have a collar, but seems to be an indoor cat and went without hesitation for a can of cat food I opened for her.

I think she's been away from home a while. She's quite smelly. May need a bath.

Please e-mail me to claim. Small rehoming fee (to cover the cost of the litterbox and cat food).

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Decapitated dolls

Date: 2008-06-04, 10:54AM EDT

My daughter likes to pull the heads off of dolls. The therapist says we should let her, so we do. We have lots of headless dolls. Some of their heads my be retreivable; most probably not.

Free to a good home.

To my neighbor who I saw pooping in his yard yesterday - w4m

Date: 2008-06-05, 2:52PM EDT

I saw you couched down with your pants around your ankles. I asked "Hey, what are you doing?". Your reply was "Pooping in a groundhog hole! I read about it online. It's suppose to trick the groundhog into thinking another animal has moved into it's lair.".

Since you are normally a sane person I refrained from calling the police.

GameStop Girl, I want to kill robotic zombie terrorists with you - m4w

Date: 2008-03-11, 4:52PM EDT

Dearest GameStop Girl,

When I walked into your store that fateful Tuesday, I expected only to find a smattering of half-decent titles tucked back there amongst the used 360 games. Instead I found you, surrounded by a beam of light, halfway between Assassin's Creed and Call of Duty 3. Your gorgeous dark hair was radiant in contrast with the rainbow of colors on the deluxe Bioshock behind you. The Game of the Year held no interest for me when I saw you look up and smile, even though both could hold me in Rapture.

You commanded the register when it was my turn to check out with the Orange Box. Yes, I was finally getting to play Portal. Lucky me, you said with the cutest smile. Lucky me, I thought, and then knew you had the Portal to my heart. I could care less if the cake is a lie, I'd still want to share it with you.

Oh GameStop Girl, how you make my heart meter skip a beat. If you were being held captive in a mountain fortress by a ruthless mutant mafia gangboss and I had to fight my way through 16 levels of fire-breathing undead ninjas with swords the size of small ponies, I would find a way, even if, after every level, a small man continued to taunt me by saying that you were in another castle. EVEN IF.

So, yes, GameStop Girl, I want to kill robotic zombie terrorists with you. You can even have the deluxe shotgun with explosive scattershot. I'll just use this knife over here. I'll do anything for you, just for the small, slightest chance that someday - someday - you and me could be a Wii.

  • Location: Chapel Hill - University Mall
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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To my neighbor who I saw pooping in his yard yesterday - w4m

Date: 2008-06-05, 2:52PM EDT

I saw you couched down with your pants around your ankles. I asked "Hey, what are you doing?". Your reply was "Pooping in a groundhog hole! I read about it online. It's suppose to trick the groundhog into thinking another animal has moved into it's lair.".

Since you are normally a sane person I refrained from calling the police.

I've got to tell you, I really can't stop laughing at this... I'm fricken dying at work over it. Who tries to **** in a groundhog hole, and why place an ad about it somewhere? :laugh: :rotflmao:

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