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Predictions -- Week 3


Who Kicks Who's A$$  

43 members have voted

  1. 1. Who Kicks Who's A$$

    • Deion Wins
    • Darrell Wins

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Working with hot chicks is both a blessing and a curse. Sure, all day you get to work in the presence of some of the finest T&A you could ever hope to be around for 8-9 hours a day. On the other hand, the situation is not unlike the dilemma a rabbit faces when a dog stands between it and its burrow......it sure would like to dive into that hole, but things could get real messy if it mistimes its leap.

So here I am, project leader on a week's road trip with a team of three gorgeous women. Before the trip, my organization begins stressing its sexual harrassment policy in a big way, and they scare me so that I refrain from engaging in even the most innocent of conversation with them. I get back, and sure enough, there was an incident on another team where sexual harrasment was reported and the organization is now in a complete crackdown mode. With little facts and only rumors to go on, plenty of folks immediately assume it was me playing animal house with my new team of playbunnies, and one even enters my office and asks what it was Idid. "Nothing", I said. In fact, so little happened that it's goddamn EMBARRASING. I'm still not sure who the guilty party was in my agency, but needless to say it sucks when assuming eyes are staring in your direction all the time. :paranoid: Hey, if i'm gonna get accused, I better at least reap the benefit of a tit fondle or something. Arrgghh!!! Gibbs doesn't know how easy he has it...nothing but a bunch of testosterone around for miles, you can rest assured there's no sexual harrassement suits being filed at Redskin Park....except for when Bruce Smith was here and he blamed "illegal touches" for prolonging his career as he slumped ever so agonizingly slow toward his all-time sack record (which Barry Bonds should break sometime next year).

Okay, onto week three of the NFL...all records are "against the spread".

Last week -- 12-4

Overall -- 22-9


StL (-7)...31

To replace Deuce McAllister, the Saints sign Dale Earnhardt Jr. as their running back. Or more specifically, his #8 Budweiser car.


Miami (-1)......24

Big Ben may get his clock cleaned. The Dolphins are hurtin', but they still have a decent defense, and they'll bring everything they got at the new kid.


Minn (-9)......30

Nine points is a lot for a team coming off a short week. After beating the Pack in Green Bay last week by 11 points, Bears coach Lovie Smith asks his players "so, for the benefit of the staff in preparation for next week's game....anyone know how the hell we did that??"


NYG (-3)....21

Given their recent draft history (Brown, Couch, Winslow), the Browns have exchanged their future first round picks for Yanni tickets. KWII, who stands to lose $5.4M of his roster bonus, was arrested for trying to sell peanuts too close to the stadium's perimeter.


Atl (-10)...37


Bmore (-2.5).....24


At some point this year, Jamal Lewis will break loose. It just so happens to be this week.

Eggos (-4.5)....20


A potential upset, but Mariucci will find a way to blow it. Terrell Owens' order for a set of Mermaid Fantasy Barbie Dolls is misdirected to the Eagles training facility, where he immediately caterwauls to all present that "they are for my niece! My NIECE I tell you!!" :D


Tits (-6)...24

In the true spirit of embracing my new shortened nickname for their team, the Tennessee Tits' cheerleaders go topless. :boobies:


KC (-7)...33

During halftime, Oprah announces that she has bought a new car for everyone in attendance at Arrowhead. Unfortunately, they're matchbox cars.


Den (-10).....34

When Chargers owner Alex Spanos returned to San Diego from the Greek Olympics, he was asked what it was like to "go from one ruin to another".


Indy (-6)....27

Upset special...comes with a heavy dose of Ahman Green. The Colts D is still suspect and the Pack will rebound.


Seat (-10)....21

In a breaking news story, Polly Perkins has uncovered a plot where 49ers owner John York has a plan to create a "Niners team of tomorrow", but only after destroying the one of today. Evidence indicates he's accomplished the latter half of his plan already, but some have suggested he may have only succeeded in creating a "chicken of tomorrow" instead. And finally, in a related story, Polly Perkins picked a peck of pickled peppers.


Oak (-3)....24

The game is preempted by a re-broadcast of Super Bowl XXXVII, which was a better game anyways.


Skins (-2.5)....20

Unsure which quarterback to choose, Gibbs seeks the guidance of former referee Larry Hill, who recommends paper, rock, scissors. Hoping to cut down on the number of turnovers from last week, the Redskins offensive players have a T-chip implanted in their brain...whenever someone turns the ball over, they automatically start receiving broadcasts of old "Darma and Greg" episodes. (hey...bottom line, the team responds to Gibbs and his first game back against both the boys and parcells...we rebound in this one at home. And so long Barrow...we hardly knew ye).


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