inmate running the asylum Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Posted on Wed, Feb. 04, 2004 DAN MARINO STEPS DOWN - Dolphins becoming a sad joke GREG COTE If the NFL season started this Sunday, and at midfield before the game the referee motioned for the Dolphins to call heads or tails . . . could they do it? Based on recent events you get the feeling one of three things would happen: (1) They'd be so indecisive the decision would defer to the other team. Or, (2) They'd try to change their call in mid-flip. Or, (3) The person who made the call would abruptly retire before the coin landed. I don't wanna say Miami's image within the league is taking a hit, but the club's equipment managers are presently scrambling to make sure a helmet face-mask will accommodate those big red clown noses. What's that sound as the Dolphins run onto the field? Calliope music? This justifiably proud franchise -- the sun and Earth in South Florida's professional sports universe -- has become at least temporarily a joke. The sad kind. The shake-your-head kind. The Jay Leno-monologue-kind. That is because Dan Marino did something on Monday that he never, ever did in 17 seasons as a future Hall of Fame player. He embarrassed the Dolphins. He quit, backed out, a mere three weeks after being announced as the club's new executive vice president overseeing all football operations. Actually, he quit after three weeks not on the job, since he first needed to complete his TV analyst obligations, which supposedly ended with the Super Bowl. SECOND THOUGHTS Rumors arose Sunday that Marino was having second thoughts. Marino immediately issued a statement through the team, denying them, saying, ``I'm looking forward to starting my job with the Dolphins as soon as possible.'' Two days later, this. It makes Marino, personally, and the club, collectively, look bad, lost, adrift. A minute and a half ago the club's all-time greatest and most popular player is clip-clopping in on a white horse to save everything. And now he's saying, ``Never mind''? Are you serious? This isn't just a black eye. It's a black eye, a dunce cap and a sign taped on your back that reads Kick Me. WHAT HAS CHANGED? I appreciate Marino's family concerns and ''reordering of priorities'' or whatever they're saying to explain all of this, but, well, don't you get all of that clear before you commit in the first place? What has changed in three weeks? You are left with the impression -- rightly or wrongly -- that Marino got cold feet, a condition obviously not helped when, in his CBS clothes, he eye-witnessed how superior the champion New England Patriots are and how much catching-up the Dolphins have to do. Miami's rivals, including the newly minted championship and dynastic Pats, must be hootin', hollerin', high-fivin' and dancing a jig today. The Dolphins have become an Abbott & Costello routine, slightly revised: Who's In Charge? OK, let's review the kingdom of club owner Wayne Huizenga: They keep coach Dave Wannstedt but strip much of his power. They keep personnel chief Rick Spielman, but make him Dave's boss. They lose offensive chief Norv Turner but promote Joel Collier from within. They still have Eddie Jones as club president. Now they lose the VP of overseeing it all in Marino. Who's In Charge? Who will end the two-year streak of no playoffs and deliver Miami's first Super Bowl triumph since Richard Nixon? SPIN CONTROL The Dolphins may yet somehow come out OK on this organizational calamity, of course, if whomever they eventually hire to replace Marino proves a gem. Meanwhile, mega-spin control. Poor Harvey Greene. The Dolphins' Vice President of Making Everything Seem Better Than It Actually Is has become the sporting equivalent of President Bush's Secretary of Convincing Us Weapons of Mass Destruction Were Not the Main Reason We Bombed Iraq. On the bright side, the Dolphins had nothing to do with Janet Jackson's exposed right breast at halftime of Sunday's Super Bowl. Also, that male streaker was in no way connected to the Dolphins front office, as far as we know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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