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Election 2024 & Presidential Race- Prisoner Trump vs Dark Brandon Joe


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28 minutes ago, Destino said:

Two years of Trump campaigning again?  That’s it I’m done with this form of democracy.  Going forward I will only support mortal combat style tournaments to decide the nations fate every four years.  



not against this. 

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Just now, China said:

Can we at least make it a requirement that candidates pass a civics test?


Whatever security clearance they need for there elected position they should have to go through that process BEFORE they even file to be a candidate for said position.


Public Trust process for every other elected position in the country at minimum.

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3 hours ago, Califan007 The Constipated said:

Might just be me, but this doesn't seem to be energizing GOP voters all that much...

Remember when he paid people to attend his first presidential announcement in 2015? Since it looked like most of the crowd were dues paying country club members, they were paying him! #winning 

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Okay, he's announced. Let's not give him any more oxygen in this forum. We already know what he's going to run on with perhaps some more of his anti Ukrainian support like MTG is spouting. Without oxygen, maybe his support will die.


We should continue to post about who's going to run and who's not.

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Since the **** stain on America has announced his run, this list, diligently amassed for all good intentions, will come in handy over the next couple of years:


Donald Trump,

- Mango Mussolini

- Girth Vader

- Traffic Cone of Treason

- Darth Tax Evader

- Tsar Tsar Binks

- Penis Pumpkinhead

- Tan Dump Lord

- Eric’s Dad

-The Count of Mostly Crisco


-Tangerine Ball Bag

- The Quarter Flounder

- Walker: Taxes Evader

- Floridian Fondler

- Scooby Coup

- Dolt 45

- Tangerine Palpatine

- Traffic Cone of Treason

- Slob Father

- Lard Father

- Fraud Father

- Voldemoron

- Tighty-Whitey Bulger

- The Danger Yam

- Butternut Berlusconi

- Vanity Manatee

- YMCA Hole

- Penis Pumpkinshead

- Dingus Khan

- Sir Eats-a-Lot

- Fatty Kruger

- Clownigula

- Hair Farce One

- The Big Lie-bowski

- Oaf of Office

- Old Wack Donald

- Old Yeller

- Jabba the Gut

- Mount Flushmore

- Sulk Hogan

- Mayor McTreason


- Scrooge McSchmuck

- Jackass O’Lantern


- Pumpkin-flavored arsenic marshmallow

- rancid bag of half melted circus peanuts

- Ambulatory merkin

- rotting pumpkin time-lapse

- Rancid salmon filet

- a toupee someone found in a garbage can and stapled to a sweet potato

- Poorly trained circus orangutan

- Flopped over traffic cone

- Pencil-dick wall builder

- Sentient used car commercial

- Rejected holiday carrot cake

- Deranged moldy grapefruit

- Room temperature Sunny-D backwash

- Enraged over-ripe pineapple


- Cursed Siberian werewolf trapped in an Orangutan’s body

- Exhaustive child

- $4 billion puddle of tinted moisturizer

- ever worse human and godsend

- Wonka factory escapee

- Open-Faced Quesadilla

- Idiot billionaire and face of YouTube’s popular “Annoying Orange”

- Noted Asshole

- Asshole-American

- Ambitious corn dog that escaped from the concession stand at a rural Alabama fairground, stole an unattended wig, hopped a freight train to Atlantic City and never looked back

- shrunken apple head

- decomposing ear of corn

- permanently open mouth

- Verbal Billionaire

- deflated basketball

- cartoon plutocrat

- sentient overripe pear

- melted creamsicle

- fluffy bouffant

- gaping mouth with a hairpiece



- oozy lather of absurd hyperbole

- dick-nosed baldy

- perpetual asshole

- serially bankrupt business mogul

- television clown

- bloated spawn of a Penn Station ashtray and Nickelodeon slime

- legitimate hairstyle choice

- anthropomorphic caterpillar

-toupee’d buffoon

-bloviating billionaire

-Enlarged pee-splattered Sno Cone

-idiotic rich man

-vibrating Bologna loaf

-Deflated football

-Dried up orange

-Human embodiment of hotdog filling

-Toupee-wearing Orangina ****hole

-sentient bottle of self tanner

-short-fingered vulgarian



-Rancid tangerine

-Rejected Richie Rich Villain

-Corndog that escaped from the state fair

-GOP Presidential candidate and Bone-in Ham

-Walking sun dried tomato

-Presidential candidate and human Kewpie doll

-Adult male baby with the combover and personality of a 30 pound toddler

-Melting pig carcass

-Human cystic acne pus

-Millionaire and disgraced racist

-What would happen if a caps lock key was granted one wish and that wish was to come to life.

-Fabulist cheddar critter

-Unrepentant Bigot

-Ralph Steadman illustration come to life

-Noted Donald Trump enthusiast

-Grimacing Cheeto Fart



-Everyone’s Favorite Screaming Steamed Carrot

-Cursed Halloween Mask

-Presidential candidate and bag of flour

-Enraged animated creamsicle

-Woody Allen impersonator and Incessant Tweeter

-Time-displaced Sopranos extra

-Melted candle impersonator

-Bloviating caricature of a businessman

-Disgraced Pope impersonator

-Cable News Fever Dream

-Delusional Cheese Creature

-Lint-crusted dried apricot

-Mud clotted welcome mat

-Melting Businessman

-James Bond Villain/Republican Presidential Candidate

-Aspiring social media intern



-Drunk Monopoly man

-Cranial bee sting victim

-Stupid, racist clown

-Lint-covered sentient Cheeto

-Man-sized sebaceous cyst

-billionaire Siberian Tiger hairball

-Shriveled apricot

-Empty popcorn bag rotting in the sun

-Heat Miser with a heart of coal

-Man-shaped asbestos insulation board

-Aggravated giant duckling

-dusty barrel of fermented peepee

-gilded dildo

-usually reasonable burlap sack full of rancid Peeps

-degloved zoo penis

-Miss Cleo cosplay enthusiast



-bargain bin full of yellowing Jean-Claude Van Damme movies

-big orange buffoon

-Normal-looking human man and entirely credible choice as future leader of the free world

-overripe pumpkin from Halloween 2007

-Our nation’s loudest cheesy puff

-a dishrag that on closer inspection is alive with maggots

-Perpetual embarrassment

-Candied yam riddled with moldy spider carcasses

-wilted turkey skin puppet

-chewed-up furball

-petulant slice of stinking, festive ****-pie

-hairpiece come to life

-orange-tufted sentient troll doll

-Actual buffoon

-Decomposing pumpkin pie inhabited by vicious albino squirrels and presidential candidate

-Gross fat loser



-the shriveled pinto bean you had to pluck out of your Chipotle burrito basket

-orange gasbag

-Enraged Gak spill

-overinflated piss-blimp

-The orange beast

-Pumpkin flavored arsenic marshmallow

-Poorly trained circus orangutan

-A Flopped-Over Traffic Cone

-a fascist golem made of flypaper

-Orange Clown

-a deeply stupid person: a crude, nasty, bloviating man always willing to shout himself hoarse about terrorist Muslims, rapist Mexicans, probably-menstruating Fox hosts

-orange lunatic

-Chester Cheetah Impersonator

-American hate leader

-a tiny piece of dried cat poop that you found in your rug

-talking combover



-Cheeto-Dusted Bloviator

-Fuzzy Meat wad

-Decomposing ear of corn

-Rich idiot

-Noted Troll

-Soggy Burlap Sack

-Bag of toxic sludge

-A brightly burning trash fire

-impoverished urchin

-Aggressively Stupid

-Great Judgement-Haver

-Hair-plug swollen with rancid egg whites

-inside-out lower intestine

-decomposing pumpkin pie inhabited by viscous albino squirrels

-lead paint factory explosion

-lumbering human-like tardigrade

-fart-infused lump of raw meat

- anthropomorphic sweet potato

- racist haggis



- tragically unfinished Muppet

- neon-tinted hellion

- bulbous, reality TV-produced anti-Christ

- half-sentient rotting Halloween pumpkin

- sloshing styrofoam takeout container filled with three-day-old mac and cheese

- Cheeto Mussolini

- a buffoon; a bigot; a hater of women; a demagogue; an actual hot dog that speaks

- blustery, ****-talking gabagool Foghorn Leghorn

- rich orange-tinted walrus

- talking fart cloud

- racist pile of melted candy corn

- Inane Facebook forward come to life

- Cheeto-dust-dipped sentient potato sack

- willfully cretinous spray tanned ignoramus

- marigold-colored ball of excrement

- mentally unstable, pustulous sack of orangutan feces who most Americans wouldn’t trust around the collection plate at church

- burnt wonton covered in scarecrow pubes

- unrepentant non-Republican more likely to read Penthouse than the National Review
- shouting, shriveled piece of dried mango

-  bewildered, golden-helmeted astronaut who’s just landed on this planet from a distant galaxy

- over-microwaved sweet potato- vulgar olive loaf

- America’s rage boner

- bald eagle

- vulgar yam

- huckster



- seagull dipped in tikki masala

- flatulent leather couch

- a pair of chapped lips superglued to a hairball

- ignorant, ridiculous man who doesn't know **** from tunafish about anything beyond where to find good-quality, child-sized gloves

- half-fermented bezoar

- sun-kissed ass plug

- goose down pillow bathed in menstrual blood

- mountain of rotting whale blubber

- an enraged, bewigged fetus blown up to nightmarish size

- bursting landfill of municipal solid waste

- sputum-filled Orange Julius

- gangrenous gaping wound

- racist, sexist block of aged cheddar

- oversized wasp exoskeleton stuffed with old mustard

- neo-fascist real estate golem



- abandoned roadside ham hock

- bewildered, golden-helmeted astronaut who’s just landed on this planet from a distant galaxy

- monument to human hubris crafted out of rotting Span

- a walking pile of animated roadkill

- heaving carcass

- stately hot dog casing

- swollen earthworm gizzard

- narcissistic bowl of rotten gazpacho

- yellowing hunk of masticated gristle

- human/Komodo dragon hybrid

- blackening scab artfully hiding in your Raisin Bran

- “taco truck”

- a man who could one day become the first hobgoblin to enter the White House

- horsehair mattress stuffed with molding copies of Hustler

- malignant corn chip

- human Kinder Egg whose inner surprise is a tiny pebble of rat ****



- the sculpture your 3-year old made out of soggy ground-up Goldfish snacks

- a man with the hair of a radioactive skunk

- roiling Cheez Whiz mass

- cryogenically frozen bog man

- a glistening, shouting gristle mass with a history of saying terrible and stupid things

- screaming giant cheese wedge

- Republican frontrunner and 250-pound accumulation of rancid beef

- Day-Glo roadside billboard about jock itch

- temperamental gelatinous sponge

- sentient hate-balloon

- a Rumpelstiltskin inflated with a bike pump and filled with bacteria

- self-tanning enthusiast

- parental pile of burnt organic material

- human-shaped wad of Gak

- walking irradiated tumor



- uncooked chicken breast

- KKK rally port-a-potty holding tank

- neon-tinted hellion

- a plentiful field of dung piled into the shape of a presidential candidate

- malfunctioning wind turbine

- seeping fleabag

- a sticky, grabby, Cheeto-hued toddler with no sense of adult comportment

- figurative rubber, and also literal rubber

- a carnivorous plant watered with irradiated bat urine

- sentient waste disposal plant

- a disappointment

- poorly-drawn fascist

- racist teratoma

- lamprey eel spray-painted gold

- a hair that you pluck, causing a cluster of hairs to sprout in its place

- sunken, corroding soufflé

- nacho cheese golem

- undead tangerine

- a cartoon representation of Irritable Bowel Syndrome in a pharmaceutical ad

- fossilized meatball



- horking mole-creature suffering from radioactive spray-tan

- tattered Craigslist sofa

- a fully-grown Monopoly dog carefully balancing a sponge cake atop its head

- Play-Doh factory explosion

- a new superfood made of finely-ground clown wigs

- unkempt Troll doll found floating face down in a tub of rancid Beluga caviar

- orange bean bag chair with an old cat sitting on it

- the Nickelodeon splat

- Cheeto Jesus

- A vile stain on this Republic

- bat**** crazy crypto-fascist who destroyed the GOP


- flabby Fascist

- our Nation’s wealthiest fetal pig

- oversized yellow gummy bear with teeth

- tiny-fingered banshee coated in slug mustard

- mannequin covered in a chicken-skin robe hidden in the basement of a grown man who collects minion

- Jaundiced Jabba the Hut with a dead Ewok strapped to its head

- Spraytanbraham Lincoln

- a pile of faux-leather designer handbag knockoffs

- half-empty bag of rancid tapioca

- extremely rude ham hock

- French onion soup fart

- melted Claymation villain

- congealing buffalo wing cemented to outgrown armpit hair

- bewigged orange penis ejaculating hate and stupidity


- marlmalade hellbeast

- floppy sack of rancid chicken fat

- overboiled ham

- impacted molar

- Donzi scheme

- Orange Asspimple

- The Great Obfuscator

- orange spray-painted port-a-john

- orange pustule

- poorly dressed mantoddler

- penis shaped asteroid


- Ignorant thug with a lizard brain (quoted from Cher)

- Cheeto Voldemort

- Toupee Fiasco

- the Brick Tamaland of presidents

- Gassy orange goober

- Spastic man-baby

- Donny "Pantalones en Fuego"

- ****face Von Clownstick

- Satchel-Ass

- Lazy corrupt racist orange santorum-covered enemy of the people

- American albatross and the president of people who believe in UFOs

- Bunker Baby Trump

- Bunker King

- UV Don

- Yam tits

- Buttplug face

- Toupeed ****trumpet

- ****womble

- Mangled Apricot Hellbeast

- Witless ****ing ****splat

- Incompressible Jizztrumpet

- Ignorant ****muppet

- Boss Tweet

- Tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing ****gibbon


And perhaps the most accurate and honest:


- The worst person alive—the pettiest, smallest, emptiest, most dishonest, most malignant ****-for-brains you could ever imagine, just an absolute worthless interpretively man-shaped lint clump from the absolute bottom of the human genetic drain





Edited by Dan T.
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I think it's great.  The whole next year is going to be him talking **** about other Republicans in addition to his usual three-ring circus (which has never gone away).  I really really really hope Greg Abbott makes noises about running so we can see if Trump will go there (and I bet he does).  

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I spent the whole night thinking about Trump.  He's going to be the nominee.  The reason the GOP bootlicked him is that he has their voters in the palm of his hands.  Will megadonors and Rupert Murdoch turning on him actually sway voters?  


Here is where he hits in his sales pitch:

- He is 100% correct that the American people are sick of corrupt, politicians who only care about themselves and don't care about America.  He is a genius to act like his movrment is so unique and driven by him alone.  His voters will ignore his own self serving corruption. 

- He hits when talking about energy and oil and its inflationary input into our economy.  This is a global issue. 

- He hits when talking about America's failed immigration system.  Sure he is way over the top in hyperbole, and he can't just be all about the wall... 

- He hits on his personal attacks on Biden's gaffes.  Let's ignore his lack of empathy, humbleness and self-awareness.  

- He hits when talking about China and supply chain.  This is an idictment of American businesses (but we do have a global economy).  Way hyerbolic about the "Chinavirus" and blame China for losing the election. 


Here are some of his misses, these threads were 100% gaslight.  

- Russia was too scared to invade Ukraine when I was President.  North Korea didn't launch missiles. 

- Foreign terrorists are coming into this country to harm us and only I can stop it. 

- Our cities are violent bloody cesspools. 

- America was so great when I was President, and it has fallen so much in two years. 


I want to bookmark this post and come back after the GOO debates, because once again he is going to amaze people with his off the cuff venom / charm when he destroys his GOP opponents.  I want to see them attack him hard on his own corruption and lawsuits.  

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1 hour ago, Fergasun said:

the GOO debates


This is both right and wrong on so many levels lol...


And I think he's stuck on "Rigged Election" mode for any of those hits to be effective. If he's the nominee it'll be due to no other Republican nominee knowing how to challenge him and just the laziness of GOP voters.

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  • 88Comrade2000 changed the title to Election 2024 & Presidential Race- Prisoner Trump vs Dark Brandon Joe

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