gbear Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Anybody ever have an issue where their significant other feels strongly about something and you don't (it's not that you feel strongly the other way, you just don't care enough). Then, when explaining the position, you have to say "We want..." or "we feel that..." LOL This wedding planning is killing me. The wording on our invitation is different from what we had written down as having ordered. We ordered through family...so...we're kind of indebted since the invites were given to us at cost (and paid for by my step mom as a gift). Now I've had to call and reorder new invitations. I feel horrible telling family that something they worked on for me is messed up (and worse because I should have caught it before print). As a typical guy, I heard blah blah blah, join J and G with a time, place and date. We looked at so many wordings (and they all seem canned to me). Now the wrong one is on the invites, and we're ordering more. Given how upset my significant other was, it's worth it to me to pay for the right wording to be put on new invites. BUt make no mistake, it's totally her feelings that make me willing not just to pay (the smaller concern in my eyes), but also to disappoint the family. As a side note, I think it's an interesting note in how men think vs women. How many guys get an invite and look at the wording. I recognize it as an invite, and immediately my eyes/mind start looking for the following: who's getting married, when, where, and how do I respond. The end. Am I typical in that? While it is an expensive mistake, I just have to keep telling myself not to get upset over the small stuff or this wedding will kill me. In the grand scheme of things, a couple hundred bucks isn't a huge deal when it comes to keeping the significant other happy. (though yes I would rather have spent it on other things at Christmas). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
codeorama Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 When my wife and I were planning our wedding, it was the same way. Exactly the same. My wife's family wanted to have a HUGE wedding and they wanted to invite the entire united states. There was so much stress and fighting, I just took a back seat and tried not to get too bothered. Luckily for me, my wife just go fed up one day and said she just wanted to get married in our preacher's back yard with just our family. I didn't get too excited, but I let her make the call and that's what we ended up doing. It was wonderful. Only our parents, and siblings and my grandmother were in attendance. It was short, sweet and very personal. The money that we saved on the wedding, her parents gave to us as a down payment on a condo which allowed us to eventually use the equity to buy our current house. It turned out great, there have been no regrets and I had no wedding horror story to deal with. Good luck, I know it's tough and it sucks that some things are so important to some but maybe not to you. Weddings bring out the worst in people, no doubt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbooma Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 depending how much money we are talking try to convince it you can spend on more important things, like the honeymoon, open bar, gifts for the wedding party, etc..... if she still is upset, let her have her way and just smile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 With you gbear. I'm the same way with invitations. But if you care less about it.... and it means so much to your wife... then you did the right thing. You should apply it to your marriage every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief skin Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 WELCOME to married life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan T. Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 For the wedding, think of yourself as a prop, like the flowers or the centerpiece. Don't have an opinion, just show up at the right time and make sure your bow tie is on straight. Let the women plan and fret. Then have a blast on the honeymoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ford Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Who says younger guys cant get in on these discuss....... Did someone say beer pong? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchogs Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 i hear you bud. i don't even look at wedding invites. my wife basically does all of our scheduling. i see fancy envelopes and put them in my wife's pile. fortunately, my wife and i both wanted a small wedding that was family only. kinda irked my best friend that he wasn't going to be my best man, but he got over it. i let my wife, her mother, and my mother do all the hen pecking and only offered my opinions when i knew they were the same as my wife's. that said, i agree with dh. you did the right thing if your wife cares about the invite that much. the last thing you want is her bringing it up for the next half century (my mom still does this with my dad's proposal after 25+ years). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilmer17 Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 I'll echo most of the above sentiments. I let my wife plan it all. The only 2 things I demanded was a live band (not a DJ) and a full bar. She handled the rest of the planning and I was at her bidding if she needed me to do something. Remember, guys dont start dreaming of their dream wedding at age 8. Girls do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ax Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Went the Justice of the Peace route myself. With her family in Texas, and mine scattered across the country, no way to not exclude someone. So nobody was there. I'm lucky that my wife didn't care about a wedding. She said she just wanted to be my wife. (Strange girl) Anyway, I've been around enough to know that if a wedding is going to happen, then the already mentioned advice in this thread seems to be more than sound. Just remember, now and throughout your marriage, that the you must learn, and use, those three little words. Which we all know are................ Whatever YOU want.:kiss: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 I know we HAD wedding invites because people showed up. Other than that, I can't help ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbear Posted December 11, 2003 Author Share Posted December 11, 2003 It's the nightmare that keeps on giving. SO I agreed to reorder the invites. I typed the wording up EXACTLY as requested by my fiance. Then I made a mistake. I asked my fiance's mom to check the punctuation. Then we had four rounds of edits last night...I thought it was all done (each time I sent them to my step grandma to order). Then I get to work and there is another email about changes she thought of after I went to bed... So I emailed the latest changes...since then, I've had 3 calls about the invites to make sure they were right. That's totally understandable since I sent her 5 versions! The first call was to tell me she placed the order last night when she got the first email. Doh! She called and changed it. I just want out of this nightmare process! Not the wedding mind you, that I know I want. I just want out of the nightmare ettiquete. Can anybody please explain to me why it's a big deal if the date says April17, 2004 instead of April seventeenth two thousand and four. Seriously? People care about this stuff? This has just turned into the nightmare that keeps on giving. I guess I shold just be happy because the cost was about a third of what I thought it was going to cost to reprint. Thank God for understanding family and family discounts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilmer17 Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Trust us g. Just get out of the loop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 HeeHee.... My wife and I got married at a drive-in in Las Vegas. Funny thing is her family was totally OK with it, and so was my mother... but MY father was furious. Took him a few months to get over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cskin Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 my advice.... punt! On third down...little chance for a 1st.... just get it out of there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbear Posted December 11, 2003 Author Share Posted December 11, 2003 Cskin...lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awgustlab Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 I recommend you go out with the guys, shoot some pool, have a few beers - anything like that when you are not working - just get the frig out of there and do NOT do any of the planning. Don't even let them have the chance to ask you -turn off the cell phone and relax at the bar with your buddies and some brews. Your ol lady might be taking that away from you soon anyways, so you might as well enjoy it now while you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonard Washington Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 :twitch: i'm nervous now. i going to use the " i don't know", "i don't care", "i gotta go" approach to wedding planning and let her do all the work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TD_washingtonredskins Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Remember, guys dont start dreaming of their dream wedding at age 8. Girls do. Says who??? Just kidding. :laugh: :laugh: :jk: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbear Posted December 11, 2003 Author Share Posted December 11, 2003 Cleotis, Dave Berry wrote a fabulous peace on better word choices than "I don't care" or "I don't know" when it comes to wedding planning. He is right, those words get you in trouble far too often(speaking from unfortunate experience ). The key phrasing to memorize is "I trust your judgement." It's got totally different connotations, and those work in your favor in this case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Ya did the right thing gbear. I was actually fairly involved in the plan for our wedding. We put off gettin hitched for two years, and baught a house instead. We paid for our wedding completely by ourselvs, so I wanted to see how our money was being spent. We did the smaller wedding, about 125 total people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.