• Blog Entries

    • By Destino in ES Coverage
         1
      We’re still doing this?  Absolutely!  Despite all the compelling reasons to just let everyone go home and enjoy and extended offseason, this is not an option.  The games must be played, and therefore we the long-suffering fans will feel compelled to watch.  Even games no reasonable football fan would choose to watch like, for example, today’s Redskins Jets game.   

      Today’s convergence of sadness features the 30th ranked scoring offense (Jets 14.4 ppg) versus the 32nd (Redskins 12.0 ppg).  The first team to 15 wins!  With no playoff aspirations the compelling story lines for this game are largely limited to watching young players (hopefully) develop.  Dwayne Haskins gets his first home start and Derrius Guice is back from injury.   
       
      My, reasonable, goals for today’s game:  
      1- Score a touchdown 
      2- Score more than 17 points.   
      3- Haskins throws for 200 yards or more with no interceptions  
      4- Guice runs the ball at least 10 times and finishes at 3.5 yards per carry and healthy.  
       
      Hoping for a win at this point feels like setting myself up for disappointment, so I’m happy to settle for an entertaining loss.  
       
      Special thanks to @pez for some excellent Guinness beef stew.  If you absolutely have to stand in a frozen parking lot at 9am, the best place to do it is at the Extremeskins Tailgate with Pez and @Huly.  Great fans, great people. 
       
      The Redskins have declared for the following players as inactive: 
      Paul Richardson  
      Colt McCoy 
      Deshazor Everett 
      Chris Thompson  
      Ross Pierschbacher 
      Vernon Davis  
      Tim Settle  
       
      The Jets declared the following players as inactive  
      Nate Hairston  
      Darryl Roberts  
      Paul Worrilow 
      Matthias Farley  
      CJ Mosley  
      Jordan Willis  
      Leo Koloamatangi 
       
      1st Quarter - Redskins 0 - 6 Jets
      If you wanted to sit in the cold and watch a football game with some Jets fans at FedEx, but were worried that there were not enough seats available, I have good news.  There’s plenty of space available, so come on down and prove you’re a real fan by sitting though this in person.
       
      Jets dominated the 1st quarter even though they only scored 6 points.  The reason being that Washington managed only 13 yards of offense and a single first down.  
       
      Question: Is it still a check down pass if the QB never looks at anyone else?
       
      2nd Quarter - Redskins 3 - 20 Jets
      The Jets have achieved an insurmountable 13 point lead early in the 2nd quarter.  All hope is lost.

      Is there a more perfect example of the Redskins offense than their first scoring drive in the 2nd quarter?  Interception gives the Redskins the ball on the Jets 16 yard line.  They proceed to march 10 yards backwards before kicking a field goal from the Jets 26.  It's perfect.  Two or three more field goals we can call it a day. 

      The Jets score again and if feels like they are are just piling on at this point.  Three touchdowns in the first half for them, just three points for the redskins.  Our streak of no touchdowns has now extended to 15 quarters. 
       
      3rd Quarter - Redskins 3 - 20 Jets
      There is a spider slowly descending from the ceiling in the press box and it's the most interesting thing that's happened during the third quarter of this game. 
       
      I have decided to allow the spider to live, provided it does not touch me.  I'm off to get some more caffeine. 

      4th Quarter - Redskins 17 - 34 Jets
      The first wave of Redskins fans, the few that are here, started streaming towards the exits after that 4th Jets touchdown.  As if the Jets didn't have this game wrapped up in the 2nd quarter. 
       
      Jet have now more than doubled their average points per game and have matched their season high of 34 points (and they missed two field goals in this game). 
       
      TOUCHDOWN REDSKINS!  THE DROUGHT IT OVER!  Guice took a short pass from Haskins  all the way to the house.  2 point conversion is successful on a pass from Haskins to Quinn. 
       
      The Redskins score another touchdown!  This feels like an embarrassment of riches, even if we are still certain to lose this game. 
       
      End of Game.
       
      Let's review those reasonable goals I mentioned earlier:
       
      1- Success.
      2- Close enough, I'm counting it
      3- Haskins did throw for over 200, but unfortunately did have an interception. 
      4- Guice was not given the opportunity to run the ball ten times today.  He did however score on a 45 yard TD pass and finish the game healthy.  I'll take it.
       
      Even though the Redskins lost, it was good to see the offense show some faint signs of life and end the streak of games without a TD.  The team looked competitive for much of the second half, and perhaps they could have made this a fun game if they carried that same energy throughout.  It was good to see Guice and Mclaurin show out today.  I think both of them have a future with this team that I look forward to seeing. 

       
       

       
       
       
       
       
zskins

NFL.com: Kirk Cousins tops biggest contracts (Special rule---you can refer to the Redskins in this thread---M.E.T.)

Recommended Posts

 

 

 

By the way, in case anyone is interested...Cousins' amazing commercials for some place called Pizza Ranch below. Has nothing whatsoever to do with his on-field ability, but it's still a great cringe-worthy treat lol. No idea who man-bun is:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Haha 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kirk looks like he could be a decent actor, the first video showcased his skill the best: Be the sort of nerdy guy who tries to be "with it". They just ended the video way too soon. Unironically, I blame the team around him for ads flopping. There's no hook to them, they have no direction.

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, TryTheBeal! said:

 

But, but, but...he broke all of Sonny Jurgensen’s records!!

 

Hell I could break some of Sonny's records. We've sucked at quarterback for so long all our team passing stats should have "B.C" beside them

  • Haha 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Califan007 said:

By the way, in case anyone is interested...Cousins' amazing commercials for some place called Pizza Ranch below. Has nothing whatsoever to do with his on-field ability, but it's still a great cringe-worthy treat lol. No idea who man-bun is:

 

That second one... is that Minnesota style pizza? Gross.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 minutes ago, Ghost of Nibbs McPimpin said:

Pizza Ranch is a midwestern pizza chain.  The midwest loves strange takes on pizza like Mexican pizza (which isn't bad oddly enough)  and dessert pizza.  That second video is of dessert pizza. 

 

Ohhhh thanks, I was confused since they said cactus bread. That music is goofy.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Watched the entire game yesterday.  (Redskins game was on the other screen, with the sound off)

 

I'm sick of making excuses for Kirk. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Califan007 said:

By the way, in case anyone is interested...Cousins' amazing commercials for some place called Pizza Ranch below. Has nothing whatsoever to do with his on-field ability, but it's still a great cringe-worthy treat lol. No idea who man-bun is:

Honestly, this made my day.  Awesome.

 

On a more serious note, the Redskins, whether that be GMSM, Bruce, Jay or Dan, or some combination of all of them,  were right about Kirk.  He is exactly who we they said he was: the best of the good.

 

That said, they still handled the whole thing completely wrong.  If they didn’t want him, they should have either just let him walk after 2015 or signed him to a 3 year deal after 2015.  This 2 year of franchise tag stuff cost them in every way possible. 

 

Edited by Voice_of_Reason
  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It makes sense Kirk signs a sponsorship deal with a cheap ass Cicis pizza knockoff - he probably gives all his OL gift cards there because Pizza Hut and Papa Johns are too expensive.

Edited by Barry.Randolphe
  • Haha 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/15/2019 at 5:25 PM, Hooper said:

Keenum will inevitably return to Minnesota and outperform Kirk again. 

 

On 9/15/2019 at 6:13 PM, Idaho fan said:

Does that mean Kirk comes back here to underperform some more?

 

I think he means playing for the Skins at the Minnesota game, not returning to play for the Vikings.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Mr. Sinister said:

Wth is Minnesota style pizza? Im afraid to click that vid now 😂

 

I'm ass/u/ming pickled herring is offered as a topping. Frankly, this sort of cultural appropriation and ****ization are an insult to my peoples... 😂

Edited by ntotoro
  • Haha 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 hours ago, NickyJ said:

Kirk looks like he could be a decent actor, the first video showcased his skill the best: Be the sort of nerdy guy who tries to be "with it".

I’m not sure that role requires a whole lot of thespian skill on his part.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Sacks 'n' Stuff said:

I’m not sure that role requires a whole lot of thespian skill on his part.

Exactly, he's a natural!

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/16/2019 at 4:13 PM, TryTheBeal! said:

I predict Pizza Ranch will be bankrupt by 2023.

 

I predict sales will start out strong and Kirk will coin a catch phrase...then upon re-upping Cousins to a larger contract, his acting will deteriorate, specifically during prime time ads. 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Malapropismic Depository said:

 

not merely hurt, but IR'd

 

Vikes are playing the long game, keep Doctson fresh, on IR, until the December playoff push.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just to lighten the mood siince it's depressing to be a Skins fan this week lol...some twitter responses to Kirk's Pizza Ranch commercials--between his trying to cook steaks on a cold grill, his horrid start to the season, and these commercials, I'm almost starting to feel sorry for the dude. Almost...I haven't forgotten that Kirk always seems to start slow each season so I expect him to get back on track this week and/or next:

 

 

Thanks to Kirk Cousins, Pizza Ranch will be adding turnovers to the buffet.
 
 
Kirk Cousins would star in a Pizza Ranch commercial. Dude is the Pizza Ranch of quarterbacks.
 
 
Aaron Rodgers did Pizza Hut commercials... Kirk Cousins does Pizza Ranch...
This seems shockingly accurate.
 
 
These Kirk Cousins Pizza Ranch commercials make me really uncomfortable.
 
 
Aaron Rodgers: State Farm
Eli Manning: Citizen watches
Tom Brady: Aston Martin
Drew Brees: Nike
 
Kirk Cousins: ...Pizza Ranch.
 
 
Kirk Cousins is starring in tv ads for Pizza Ranch and someone could probably come up with a more perfect symbiosis of glaring mediocrity but I'm not sure how.

 

 

 

  • Haha 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Holy ****, he has an entire history of cringe lol...didn't get clearance to show the Skins emblem, though.

 

 

 

 

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm DREADING the game against Minnesota, because I KNOW that Kirk is going to get well in that game against our sorry defense.  Kirk saw this defense in practice every single day, and let's be honest, it hasn't really changed much since he left.  Some of the players have changed, but the scheme hasn't.  

 

MAYBE Kirk torching the 'Skins is the straw that broke the camel's back , Dan and Bruce get so mad they lose their minds and fire everybody after the game?

 

Honestly, I could really see that happening.  

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Califan007 No doubt Kirk is corny and cheesy, can't say I've ever seen that disputed, even by veryoldschool.shtick.

 

I'm not sure what it's like your way, but here in Washington, cringeworthy commercials and radio spots are a 'thing' and have been for a very long time.  It kind of started with Eastern Motors "where yo job's yo credit" and has taken off from there.  I gather the strategy is to make the commercials so bad, people have to talk about them.  Cyprus Air and Paisano's pizza have kind of taken the torch on that front.  Cyprus Air did a few with Alex Smith last year as well.  I'd love to know the #'s on how much these local companies pay the athletes.  Because I can't grasp how players making millions every year think its worth their time to shoot these commercials.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I actually like the commercials LOL. They do remind me of eastern moters and I loved those too. 

 

6 minutes ago, BatteredFanSyndrome said:

Because I can't grasp how players making millions every year think its worth their time to shoot these commercials.

 

Let me know if you ever figure that one out! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 minutes ago, BatteredFanSyndrome said:

Because I can't grasp how players making millions every year think its worth their time to shoot these commercials.

 

13 minutes ago, Llevron said:

Let me know if you ever figure that one out! 

 

The spotlight ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 minutes ago, Llevron said:

I actually like the commercials LOL. They do remind me of eastern moters and I loved those too. 

 

 

Let me know if you ever figure that one out! 

Oh I don't hate them, the corny and cheap quality is what gives them their charm.  Just wondered if it was a DC thing or if they do this everywhere.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.