Coach Williams Posted December 2, 2003 Share Posted December 2, 2003 Q: Why do managers sing when they take a dump? A: So they know which end to wipe when they’re finished ____________________________________________________ A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great.....some a**hole's got my pen." ___________________________________________________ It was the worst round of golf that I've ever played. All I hit were two good balls, and that was because I stepped on a rake! ___________________________________________________ One day, at a local restaurant, a woman suddenly called out, "My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone! Help!" A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was quite experienced at this sort of thing. He stepped over with almost no look of concern, wrapped his hands around the boy's gonads and squeezed. Out popped the quarter. The man then went back to his table as though nothing had happened. "Thank you so much!" the mother cried. "Are you a paramedic?" "No," replied the man, "I work for the IRS." __________________________________________________ Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox? A: About eight cans of beer. __________________________________________________ :40oz: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symbol Posted December 2, 2003 Share Posted December 2, 2003 It was the worst round of golf that I've ever played. All I hit were two good balls, and that was because I stepped on a rake! How was this suppose to make us feel better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Om Posted December 2, 2003 Share Posted December 2, 2003 Hey, I'm happy, goddammit. Or at least I was until I had to move another thread. Kidding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phat Hog Posted December 2, 2003 Share Posted December 2, 2003 A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day the same guy came into the bar and placed the same order for drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "Darn! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" "Yeah, my wife..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phat Hog Posted December 2, 2003 Share Posted December 2, 2003 If your cousins put out a rap record and it goes aluminum.... You might be a redneck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phat Hog Posted December 2, 2003 Share Posted December 2, 2003 There once was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair red and try and trick everyone into thinking that she was a redhead. After she dyed her hair, she went for a drive to see if she could trick anyone. She came across a sheep herder and his herd and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have in your herd can I take one home?" The sheep herder said, "Sure!" The blonde proudly said, "There are 345 sheep." The sheep herder exclaimed, "Wow! that is absoultly right, so go ahead and pick a sheep to take home." The Blonde got out, got a sheep, and put it in her car. The sheep herder said, "Now I have a deal for you. If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phat Hog Posted December 2, 2003 Share Posted December 2, 2003 What do you call a dog with steel balls and no hind legs? Here Sparky… here boy ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.