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Need advice on situation with my son


brandymac27

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Having said all this, one of the college recruiters, a coach from a VERY well known college, called him a dirty "N word " ( he's biracial) when my son told him he wanted to graduate with his friends (they've been telling him he can graduate and play football early) .

 

Ah..good ol' Greensboro. Stepped back into the 1930s when I went to school there in the 1970s. I see they've made it to the 1940s.

 

As for your son, go to the AD.

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I have called the AD and am waiting for a response. I had to leave a voicemail. My son goes to Northern in Greensboro. Also, to answer the question, the coach who said this what white.

Basically I'm taking most of your advice and following the chain of command. Hopefully something will be done quickly.

And Kdawg, my son has written proof of the comments along with their entire conversation in saved emails.

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If your son wrote down what the coach allegedly said, that's not really the same thing as emails proving the coach called him that.  If the coach emailed your son, that's different.

 

It's also incredibly stupid and hard to believe.  It's also hard to believe he'd do that and leave a racist voice mail.

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brandy, as much as I understand you being furious, what would your son want to have happen? That IMO is the crux of it. Give him the opportunity to call the shot, it's his tbh.

 

Yanno, all that coach did was call himself out as a trog, there's no disrespect if you simply refuse to accept delivery of it. Your son "taking the high road" ought to warm your heart a lot, that's the important thing here.

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All I'm going to say is choose your course of action very carefully. Your son's future could be determined by all of this. Confronting the authorities at the school about this could lead to a long and even more painful process then the "word" itself.

I would just say thanks but no thanks to the school because you will be fighting an uphill battle.

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Forget that school and do not be afraid of stepping forward. Also some preemptive advice for when they try to sweep this under the rug or tell you it will be handled but actually isn't, don't just let it go.

100% chance this isn't a one time deal. Big time college coaches hold a ridiculous amount of power over young student athletes. I guarantee this is just part of a pattern of bullying and control that will continue and escalate if left unchecked. Dude should be fired. If he's not at least suspended, then you need to take this beyond the school. The wellbeing of a lot of young people is at stake.

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Sorry Turtle but I'm not gonna post the emails mainly because it's my 16 year old son's email account plus I want to see how this is resolved before the coach/school email is known. I don't want to do anything that could interfere with a possible investigation or whatever ends up happening.

As of now, I'm still waiting for a response. I'm not sure how long it normally takes for them to call people back, but hopefully it won't take too long. I'm also doing some of my own investigating. I've been on twitter finding current players and was thinking about trying to contact them. The thing is my friend suggested I don't contact them yet because she thinks they may be scared to say something that could get the coach in trouble especially if they have a scholarship/ etc on the line.

I'm still not sure I agree with waiting to contact them. If there are others who have been mistreated, I'd think the more of us there are would only help our case, so I'm sleeping on this for a few days.

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to me, as a (high school) administrator, it would depend a fair bit on how it was approached. of course, the law would have to be followed. beyond that, if it is a "hey, i'm not coming to your school and this is why" is a lot better than a "hey, your coach is a racist asshole, and i demand restitution." both convey the same racist message, but the first is without agenda.

just my two cents. i feel awful that your son has to go through this. OH SPEAKING OF THAT... it would be best if all of this communication went through your son, at least initially. helicopter parents are easily dismissed, and HS/College students should take the initiative if they are truly offended anyway.

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Do not contact players. It's putting them in an extremely uncomfortable situation, and remember, they're college kids, too. They have no place in this whole thing.

Continue on as you feel necessary, though. It's essential that there's a resolution.

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Erase that school from your options. Other than that, move on.

If you stir things up, unfortunately it very well could have a negative effect for your son.  The coach can deny it and then say things about you kid essentially blackballing him.  Other coaches don't want drama and the odds are that some will not believe that another coach said it and therefore assume your son is a problem.

 

Might not be a popular opinion, but I know how things work in sports. 

Just move on.

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All I'm going to say is choose your course of action very carefully. Your son's future could be determined by all of this. Confronting the authorities at the school about this could lead to a long and even more painful process then the "word" itself.

I would just say thanks but no thanks to the school because you will be fighting an uphill battle.

 

What example is this setting?  LOL.

 

Accept being called a racial slur out of fear of what your future may be...WHAT?

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I just can't believe this.

+1

I'm certain you could post the subject+body of the email without revealing your sons address. I also don't see why you would care to protect the coach's identity.

Unless... are you scared you're like Miko Grimes?

If we're to judge your course of action, let us review the evidence.

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