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Extremeskins

Florida....? oh yeah, Florida.


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1 minute ago, Larry said:

Boy, posting a video of some Bike Week idiot jumping the drawbridge will sure cut down on other attempts, I bet. 

 

Oh, I thought the point was to encourage natural selection.

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Psych Eval For Accused Stuffed Doll Assailant

 

A judge today ordered a psychological evaluation to help determine the competency of a Florida Man charged with having sexual contact with a pair of large stuffed animals at a Target store, court records show.

 

During a Circuit Court hearing this afternoon, Judge Cathy Ann McKyton appointed a psychologist to examine Cody Meader, 22, who has been charged with criminal mischief and exposure of sexual organs, both misdemeanors.

 

As detailed in police and court records, a Target loss prevention officer told cops that he watched as Meader took a stuffed unicorn to the children’s bedding department, where he exposed himself and “took the unicorn and placed it against his penis and began a sexual motion like the subject was trying to have sex with the unicorn.”

 

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Beware sex with a unicorn:

 

 

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'The problem with moving to Florida is you have to live in Florida!' Wall Street titans who moved to Miami during lockdown are eyeing a return to NYC because it has 'the best schools, theaters and restaurants'

 

Wall Street titans who moved to Miami amid New York City's coronavirus lockdown are already eyeing a return to the Big Apple, according to a new report. 

 

Late last year, Florida was touted as the future hub of American finance as a slew of billion-dollar businesses opened up offices in the Sunshine State. 

 

The uber-wealthy were lured to Florida by better weather, lower taxes and fewer  restrictions imposed on residents amid the COVID-19 pandemic.  


But Bloomberg claims that a number of billionaires are now having second thoughts about life in Miami because the cultural and educational opportunities just don't compare to those in the Big Apple. 

 

'The main problem with moving to Florida is that you have to live in Florida,' Jason Mudrick, who oversees $3 billion at Mudrick Capital Management in NYC, told the publication. 

 

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Pickle-Packing Perv Popped On Private Premise

 

A pantless Florida Man was arrested yesterday after police spotted him pleasuring himself with a pickle while on a private premise, according to an arrest affidavit.

 

Responding to a suspicious person call around 4 PM, a cop saw Eric Detiege, 47, lying on his back in front of a townhouse in Oldsmar, a city in the Tampa Bay area.

 

Detiege, unencumbered by pants or underwear, had his penis in one hand and “a large uneaten pickle in his other hand.” Detiege, the cop added, was “using the pickle to penetrate his rectum while he was masturbating.”

 

picklepopped21.jpg

What a pickle may look like

 

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A reptilian nightmare: Florida bans nonnative species despite industry outcry

 

Florida's promoters like to sing its superlatives — best beaches, prettiest sunsets, perfect climate (except for the occasional hurricane). But there's a No. 1 distinction the boosters never mention.

 

Florida is infested with more exotic and invasive species than any other state and perhaps, some say, than anywhere else in the world. Though a few nonnatives have been running amok for centuries — today’s feral hogs descended from pigs that arrived with explorer Hernando de Soto in 1539 — most showed up in recent decades. Green iguanas, which now pop up in toilets and fall out of trees during cold snaps. Nile monitors, which terrorize tiny burrowing owls. Argentine tegu lizards, which gobble up native turtle eggs. And the poster child of invaders: the Burmese python, which first appeared in the Everglades in 1979.

 

The state Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission has tried for years to cope with the influx. Among other strategies, it has told homeowners to shoot the iguanas on sight and invited amateur hunters to compete for prizes in a python roundup. Then late last month, commissioners took more extreme action, deciding 7 to 0 to ban possession and breeding of both those reptiles and 14 other nonnative species.

 

“We have to put our foot down,” said chairman Rodney Barreto, a Miami developer recently criticized for his role in a Palm Beach dredge-and-fill project. “The time has come to take a bold stand against these real threats to our environment.”

 

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One man killed after jumping off Panama City Beach hotel balcony with parachute

 

PANAMA CITY BEACH, Fla. (WJHG/WECP) -One man is dead after he reportedly jumped off a beach hotel balcony with a parachute that didn’t deploy.

 

Panama City Beach police responded to the call Sunday evening at Sunrise Beach Resort. They say he jumped from the 14th floor.

 

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2 spring breakers drugged, raped woman, then partied, cops say. She died in South Beach hotel

 

Two North Carolina men visiting South Beach have been arrested and accused of drugging and raping a woman who later died in her hotel room, police say.

 

The men, Evoire Collier, 21, and Dorian Taylor, 24, are also accused of stealing the woman’s credit cards to spend money on their trip in South Beach. Investigators are trying to determine whether the woman died of an overdose, possibly from a pill the men supplied. The Miami-Dade Medical Examiner’s Office said Monday it is conducting further tests, and no cause of death has been determined.

 

The arrests come as Miami Beach police and city officials have been grappling with the overwhelming spring break crowds, instituting an 8 p.m. curfew aimed at cracking down on rowdy revelers on the streets. In recent weeks, South Beach has seen brawls, crowd stampedes and police confrontations involving the use of pepper balls.

 

Miami Beach police have made over 1,000 arrests since February and at least five officers have been hurt on the job, according to the department. Interim City Manager Raul Aguila, on Saturday, called for the curfew to “contain the overwhelming crowd of visitors and the potential for violence, disruption and damage to property” during what has at times been a chaotic spring break period.

 

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Woman missing for several weeks found naked in Delray Beach storm drain

 

A South Florida woman is recovering in the hospital after she was found naked and stuck in a storm drain.

 

The woman was reported missing nearly three weeks ago.

 

“This was by far one of the most bizarre incidents that our officers have responded to,” said Delray Beach Police Department Public Information Officer Ted White.

 

Images show Delray Beach police and firefighters surrounding a storm drain near the intersection of Atlantic Blvd. and Southwest 11th Avenue early Tuesday after someone heard what sounded like a woman’s voice down below.

 

“A passerby heard something coming from the storm drain,” said Dani Moschella with Delray Beach Fire Rescue. “She heard a woman yelling.”

 

When first responders arrived, they discovered a woman trapped eight feet below the roadway.

 

“They did in fact, to their surprise, find a woman stuck in that storm drain,” said Moschella.

 

Delray Beach Fire’s Special Operations Team was able to remove the storm grate, lower down a ladder and hoist the woman up.

 

“She was unable to stand up,” Moschella said. “She didn’t have any clothes on. She was very dirty. She had some superficial wounds. Her knees were all scraped up.”

 

Authorities aren’t sure how the woman got into the storm drain or how long she was down there.

 

“It appears she may have been in that storm drain for at least a couple of days, perhaps longer,” White said.

 

Delray Beach police believe the woman may have disappeared March 3.

 

That’s when she was reported missing.

 

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On 3/24/2021 at 4:47 PM, China said:

Woman missing for several weeks found naked in Delray Beach storm drain

 

A South Florida woman is recovering in the hospital after she was found naked and stuck in a storm drain.

 

The woman was reported missing nearly three weeks ago.

 

“This was by far one of the most bizarre incidents that our officers have responded to,” said Delray Beach Police Department Public Information Officer Ted White.

 

Images show Delray Beach police and firefighters surrounding a storm drain near the intersection of Atlantic Blvd. and Southwest 11th Avenue early Tuesday after someone heard what sounded like a woman’s voice down below.

 

“A passerby heard something coming from the storm drain,” said Dani Moschella with Delray Beach Fire Rescue. “She heard a woman yelling.”

 

When first responders arrived, they discovered a woman trapped eight feet below the roadway.

 

“They did in fact, to their surprise, find a woman stuck in that storm drain,” said Moschella.

 

Delray Beach Fire’s Special Operations Team was able to remove the storm grate, lower down a ladder and hoist the woman up.

 

“She was unable to stand up,” Moschella said. “She didn’t have any clothes on. She was very dirty. She had some superficial wounds. Her knees were all scraped up.”

 

Authorities aren’t sure how the woman got into the storm drain or how long she was down there.

 

“It appears she may have been in that storm drain for at least a couple of days, perhaps longer,” White said.

 

Delray Beach police believe the woman may have disappeared March 3.

 

That’s when she was reported missing.

 

Click on the link for the full article

 

More

 

Quote

During an interview, she told police she went for a swim in a canal near her boyfriend’s house. She said she came across a doorway at a shallow part of the canal and began following tunnels until she realized she was lost. The woman claims she was stranded in the sewer system for three weeks, the report states.

 

Delray Beach Police spokesperson Ted White told WPTV that police are skeptical of the woman’s story. Officials are primarily wondering what she ate and drank if she was actually down there for three weeks.

 

The news outlet reached out to the South Florida Water Management District to see if the drains are all connected and whether the story is even possible. They are waiting to hear back.

 

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5 minutes ago, Larry said:

Wonders what the real story is, if that's the story she made up, to cover for it.  

 

Elsewhere in the article was this:

 

Quote

Later on, officers contacted the woman’s mother who told them her daughter has a history of doing odd things and making bad decisions when she is high on drugs.

 

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Recall a conversation, decades ago, when I was in training as an EMT.  We had responded to a report of excessive bleeding.  And found a patient, apparently unharmed, standing at a convenience store pay phone, which he had used to phone EMS.  

 

EMT:  Sir, are you bleeding?  

Patient:  Yes

EMT Where are you bleeding?  

Patient:  Inside.  

EMT:  How do you know you're bleeding inside?  

Patient:  I always bleed inside when I drink.  

 

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Officers Discover 'Emotional Support Python' During DUI Stop

 

You've heard of emotional support dogs—but how about emotional support pythons?

 

According to FOX10 News, police in Fort Walton Beach, Florida were performing a DUI stop on Wednesday when they encountered an unusual passenger in one driver's car. They say the driver was accompanied by what appeared to be a python.

 

The driver reportedly told the officers that the snake was his 'emotional support animal.'

 

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As for what counts as an ESA, you will be happy to know that cats and dogs are not your only options. Cats and dogs being the most popular pet options for people are likely what makes them notable ESAs. However, your choice for an ESA can expand to include birds, pigs, rabbits, and even snakes.

 

ESA-Snake-Benefits.jpg.webp

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So you find a Navy mine and call the Air Force?

 

Naval mine washes ashore in Lauderdale-by-the-Sea

 

A naval mine washed ashore in Broward County where many people usually go to relax on the beach.

 

An investigation is currently underway, and a response team was activated.

 

This all happened on the beach in Lauderdale-by-the-Sea at Pine Avenue.

 

A section of the beach was taped off by the Broward Sheriff’s Office.

 

According to BSO, a deputy on patrol discovered the “possible military explosive training device” at approximately 2:30 a.m. Sunday.

 

Naval mines are used in the ocean as an explosive drive to damage surface shifts or submarines.

 

It appeared that the word “inert” was written on the mine, which mean it could be a ‘dummy’ mine used in training, but that doesn’t rule out that it could be active.

 

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Florida Man Stole Ambulance from Hospital, Got Stuck in Mud While Approaching Water: Deputies

 

A man in Hernando County, Florida is accused of stealing an ambulance, and getting it stuck in mud. We’re no experts in committing grand theft auto, but we’re pretty sure that could have gone way better. Trey Allen Cornwell, 29, was arrested Sunday, authorities say.

 

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According to deputies, the ambulance crew was inside the Oak Hill Hospital to drop off a patient. It was 12:27 p.m. Cornwell allegedly used this time to make off with the vehicle, which is owned by the Hernando County Fire & Emergency Services.

 

Deputies say the defendant drove it to the Kass Circle neighborhood near Port Court, but he got it stuck in mud and sand, as seen in the picture above. 

 

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While Leaving Lockup, Floridian Stole Jail Webcam

 

As he was preparing to leave jail after posting bond, a Florida Man decided that was the perfect time to steal a $60 webcam off a desk in the county lockup, according to an arrest affidavit.

 

Steven Moran, 35, was arrested last month for criminal mischief and booked into the Indian River County jail on the misdemeanor charge. Moran, a Vero Beach resident, is pictured above.

 

While Moran was “awaiting release in the booking area,” he disconnected a Logitech webcam from a jail computer and placed the device in his pocket, cops say. Moran subsequently departed the lockup upon posting $1000 bond.

 

Investigators subsequently identified Moran as the alleged culprit and arrested him Thursday for depriving “the County Jail the right and use of the property.”

 

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