MattFancy Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 http://www.sbnation.com/2015/6/23/8713273/dexter-manley It's a warm spring day and Dexter Manley bounds out of the office and jumps into his boss's truck like a kid heading to the playground. As the new director of marketing for Rockville, Md.,-based CE Construction Services, he'll be paying visits to both potential and current clients, and I'm along for the ride. "Where's my wallet?" he asks, after we leave the office. It's a question he'll ask multiple times throughout the day, even after it's determined that he left his wallet in his own car. After surgeries to remove a quarter-sized cyst in his brain, his short-term memory isn't the greatest. Manley is wearing khaki pants, a button-down shirt, boots and a sweater, a curious outfit considering the day's 80-degree temperature. "I always wear a sweater," he says, wiping the sweat off of his brow. "It's preppy." Manley also wears red socks every day of his life. Sometimes they have a pattern, but mostly they are solid red, dozens of pairs of them lining his sock drawer like a monochromatic army of cotton footwear. It's not that red is his favorite color, or even that they match the rest of his wardrobe. To the former NFL star, the red socks are a symbol of how far he has come. Twenty-four years of drug addiction, 38 visits to various rehab facilities, homelessness, four arrests and years of jail time defined him for so long. Now, nine years sober, those socks remind him of his journey. "Abraham Lincoln said we have the power to change our condition," says Dexter. "And I use the red socks as a symbol, as the power to change my condition. It's a symbol of changing one state from darkness to light." As we visit with various clients, it's easy to see why he has found success in sales and marketing. His imposing size is balanced out by his engaging smile and a laugh that is equal parts giggle and high-pitched cackle. It's one of those laughs that you can't help but laugh along with. "You guys don't have one of these," he says good-naturedly as he shows off one of his two Super Bowl rings to an Eagles fan client. He then charms him with with an NFL story before taking picture with him. "I met someone in the bathroom I want to introduce you to," he says at lunch before bringing over a fan and introducing him to us all as if we were the ones to meet. "So when do we get started," he says, more statement than question, to a potential client who had yet to commit to a contract. Throughout the day, Manley proves through charm, wit and a winning smile that he's a very hard man to say no to. He's also naturally curious, and often times ends up interviewing me about my life, career and family. It's a trick he uses to connect with people, and his wife Lydia says that he's always been very adept at reading others because of it. "Dexter has this way of learning about people, sometimes without them knowing it," says his wife, Lydia Manley. "People are just drawn to him and he really connects with people." Manley and Lydia went to the same high school, but didn't become friends until 1988 when Manley invited her to a Monday Night Football game in San Francisco while she was living in Silicon Valley. At the time, Manley was married to his second wife and while fidelity wasn't his strong suit, both insist that they remained just friends until eventually getting married almost 10 long, hard years later. Really good read. Kinda long, but worth your time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audible_Red40 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 That's a fantastic read. Dexter certainly has come a long way! The Toronto and Ottawa Sun ran a couple stories 3 years ago on these very topics. Always a powerful read. Being a Skins fan all my life up here in Canada, Manley and Mann were two I loved to watch terrorizing QB's every week. It was totally weird seeing him in Phoenix and Tampa. When he got his life time ban in the NFL, he got a second chance up here in Ottawa, my hometown, in 1992. I, myself, was thrilled....."The Secretary of Defense" was on his way. It just wasn't meant to be. Ottawa was a **** show. There was no chance to succeed. He was 33 years old, the team was garbage, the stadium was garbage, the owner was garbage, the coaches were garbage. I think he was making $70-80,000 a year, which was great money for the CFL back then. Needless to say, this dude helped me become the Redskins fan I am today, with his on the field play. I loved watching him. I had the big mesh crappy "72" jersey, the posters on my bedroom wall, and pre internet and Sunday ticket, I couldn't wait for the next Redskins game to be back on TV. I have a 3 year old Ibizan Hound named Dexter. All the best of health and stay good my man. I am proud of what you're doing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 A scan taken at the hospital showed that the cyst had grown to the size of a quarter. He was taken to Georgetown Hospital where he underwent brain surgery to remove most of the cyst. A second surgery months later completed the process. When the cyst disappeared, so did all of Manley's urges. He has remained sober ever since, and says he doesn't struggle with temptation. Multiple doctors have told him that the cyst was located in the part of the brain associated with impulse control. His therapist believes that the cyst itself was the root of his addiction. Man, that brings up some huge what ifs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Love the jab he takes at the Eagles fan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 He's always been a favorite Wonder who the all pro Redskins CB in the late 1970s was? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulSkin Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Really good read. Thanks for posting that. What a roller-coaster ride of a life. Hopefully it's an easy ride from here on out. Dexter was a bad ass football player, and so was that CB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 He's always been a favorite Wonder who the all pro Redskins CB in the late 1970s was? Google is your friendLemar Parrish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsGuy Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 A video tribute to Manley (and Mann). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumbo Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Well, I can read, but two out of the three didn't stop me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTBIRD 227 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Great read, so happy for Dexter Manley to turn around his life and to be just plain happy and at peace with him self and for his family. Never will be a duo like Manley and Mann. Hail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peregrine Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Thats kind of crazy, and very interesting from both a science and personal viewpoint... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 He's always been a favorite Wonder who the all pro Redskins CB in the late 1970s was? Lemar Parrish.... Zoony come lately Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clskinsfan Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 I used to work at a car dealership where Dexter would have his car fixed. He was one of the nicest guys I have ever met. Never had that better then you attitude that you see with some modern pro athletes. We had many conversations about football. Mostly defensive philosophy and how they could help my coaching. He was definitely illiterate as I would normally have to read his receipt to him. But he is genuinely a nice person. Glad to see his life is heading in the right direction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LD0506 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Another cautionary tale of the way that the pros chew up n spit out young athletes. It's a testament to Dexter's innate character that after all he has endured, he's still smiling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The 12th Commandment Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Hmmm, there may be hope for me yet. Makes me very happy to see one of the best players of my youth resurrect himself. Way to go Dexter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 I loved Lemar Parrish as a kid. Parish, Lavender and Houston - damn that was a great secondary. Disappointed that he did coke, but have greater respect for the man knowing that he did 2 chicks at once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaceman Spiff Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 6th grade, went to the gym with my Mom at the Worldgate in Herndon. I was playing basketball (tall for my age) and was asked to play pickup because they needed even teams. There was this big black dude there who was wearing a white tshirt, completely soaked with sweat, running up and down the court playing harder than everyone else, hollering at everyone, smiling the whole time. He was as nice as could be. My mom came down to the basketball court to check on me and pulled me over, her eyes were big as saucers and whispered to me "That's Dexter Manley!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Thats kind of crazy, and very interesting from both a science and personal viewpoint... Reminds me of the many cases where a physical injury has altered personalities. That said, I think for most addicts it's not so simple but it is both great(in simplicity) that it was a physical issue and sad that a cyst may have been such a terrible detriment to the man's life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjfootballer Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Finally got a chance to read the whole article. Good for Dexter that he's doing well. Glad this one didn't end up tragic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Consigliere Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Reminds me of the argument about do you cheer the sweater, or the player, so to speak. I think for me, and probably for most, at least of our generation, you cheered the player in the sweater, and then later the sweater (the frequency with which fan's join the hate train, and side with management whenever there are issues between a player and a team suggest as much) alone. I know I used to play sports with friends of all manner and we'd keep score by just referencing redskin players #'s. When we played our moronic version of tennis (10 points, green and white in, 2 bounces, obviously not tennis lol), if it was 5-1, it was Monte Coleman, if it was 7-4, it was Markus Koch, if it was 3-5, it was Keith Griffin etc. There was a deep connection, even to guys as obscure as Mark Stock, or Willard Reeves. Now it's just very, very, very impersonal. Different game. I remember when I heard about Dexter's phone call about his ashes in RFK and I felt so so so bad for the guy, and a lot of love for a guy whose passion and sense of loss found one measure of connection in that field where his brothers played beside him, and his fans cheered him on. I'll never forget the guy, from leading the total domination of David Woodley's Dolphins in XVII (zero completions in the second half, ZERO!), to his immortal line from the sidelines after Sanders 80 yard TD to open the 2nd quarter in the Super Bowl XXII Yearbook, "Yes Sir, we're coming back, we're gonna do it." Really so happy to see things are okay now, and that what was causing him this nightmare is over kind of like Phineas Gage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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