The Grilling and Cooking Thread

[The 12th Commandment]

^You got that right.  I went to buy some skirt steak yesterday, reading about reminded me how much I like it, and it was more per pound than the new yorks.  $9/lb.  

[CBass1724]

http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-****ing-steak

 

How To Cook A ****ing Steak

by Alex Balk  

 

Go to the goddamn grocery and get steak. Yes, the grocery. A little ammonia is not going to kill you, you ****. You want to be all fancy and grass-fed and environmentally conscious, go ahead, I don’t give a ****, just get a ****ing steak. Ribeye is good. And, yes, bone-in. Schmuck. Take the steak home. Get a bigass frying pan and put the **** on the stove, cranking the heat up as far as that ****er will go. Take a ****load of salt—rocksalt, you dumb mother****er, none of that fine-grained crap here—and toss it around the bottom of the pan. When the pan is hot as all ****—it should scorch the **** out of your finger if you’re stupid enough to touch it—put the ****ing steak on there. You can crack some pepper on the top of the steak as the bottom is searing, but don’t even talk to me about garlic or onion powder or COMPOUND ****ING BUTTER, asshole. This is steak, all you ****ing need is salt and pepper. After a bit (3 minutes for pink, 5 for cooked good), flip that **** over and do the same ****ing thing you just did with the other side, i.e. sit on your ass and wait for your mother****ing steak to be ready, you useless assbag. When you’re done, sling that **** on a plate. Beringer’s 1996 Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley Private Reserve makes an absolutely delightful accompaniment, particularly if you’ve taken care to let it breathe a bit before quaffing. Also, make some ****ing potatoes, because that’s what you eat with a ****ing steak. God, sometimes I just want to smack the **** out of you.

[HOF44]

 

http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-****ing-steak

 

When you’re done, sling that **** on a plate. Beringer’s 1996 Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley Private Reserve makes an absolutely delightful accompaniment, particularly if you’ve taken care to let it breathe a bit before quaffing.

 

All that and the little ***** doesn't drink it with a bourbon???

[Popeman38]

 

http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-****ing-steak

 

How To Cook A ****ing Steak

by Alex Balk

 

 

Go to the goddamn grocery and get steak. Yes, the grocery. A little ammonia is not going to kill you, you ****. You want to be all fancy and grass-fed and environmentally conscious, go ahead, I don’t give a ****, just get a ****ing steak. Ribeye is good. And, yes, bone-in. Schmuck. Take the steak home. Get a bigass frying pan and put the **** on the stove, cranking the heat up as far as that ****er will go. Take a ****load of salt—rocksalt, you dumb mother****er, none of that fine-grained crap here—and toss it around the bottom of the pan. When the pan is hot as all ****—it should scorch the **** out of your finger if you’re stupid enough to touch it—put the ****ing steak on there. You can crack some pepper on the top of the steak as the bottom is searing, but don’t even talk to me about garlic or onion powder or COMPOUND ****ING BUTTER, asshole. This is steak, all you ****ing need is salt and pepper. After a bit (3 minutes for pink, 5 for cooked good), flip that **** over and do the same ****ing thing you just did with the other side, i.e. sit on your ass and wait for your mother****ing steak to be ready, you useless assbag. When you’re done, sling that **** on a plate. Beringer’s 1996 Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley Private Reserve makes an absolutely delightful accompaniment, particularly if you’ve taken care to let it breathe a bit before quaffing. Also, make some ****ing potatoes, because that’s what you eat with a ****ing steak. God, sometimes I just want to smack the **** out of you.

 

You go to all the trouble to write this trying to sound all manyl, and then you throw in the bolded/enlarged bit? WTF?

Edited May 16, 2016 by Popeman38

[CBass1724]

Hahaha, I'm thinking the wine part was tongue in cheek as well, but who knows.  That write up makes me laugh every time.

[tshile]

I'm not getting a smoker now, it'll be for when i move one day, I'm just wondering what thoughts are on pellet smokers?

 

i'm lazy so the automated part of it suits me, and i also just like gadgets like the hopper system, i just think they're neat.

 

what do you actual cooks think?

 

for reference: I make a mean burger, but not much else, and am generally terrified of cooking for people on anything other than my own grill because I know my grill and tend to screw everything up when I use someone else's

 

edit: i'm actually just generally terrified of cooking for other people, now that i think of it.

Edited May 16, 2016 by tshile

[dfitzo53]

I love how everybody gets all bent out of shape if you don't cook steak their supposedly "correct" way. Butter on steak happens to be money. Just salt and pepper on steak is great too.

It's steak. It tastes ****ing great. Cook it the way you like and don't over think it.

[TradeTheBeal!]

I grilled a strip tonight. Let it sit out and come to room temp in a little pool of Worcestershire, Garlic powder and pepper. Grilled it hot to MR and sliced into about 10 thin strips...money.

I'm with dfitzo. Do what ya like.

[Popeman38]

I grilled a strip tonight. Let it sit out and come to room temp in a little pool of Worcestershire, Garlic powder and pepper. Grilled it hot to MR and sliced into about 10 thin strips...money.

I'm with dfitzo. Do what ya like.

YOU USED GARLIC POWDER ON A STEAK? YOU HEATHEN.

I personally like a little apple cider vinegar on a steak for a couple hours. Drain it, cake it in salt n pepper. Grilled on high for 3 minutes on each side. Finished wih a 1/2 TBSP of butter. Let the steak sit long enough for the butter to melt, DEVOUR.

Edited May 17, 2016 by Popeman38

[Skinsfan1311]

IT'S ****ING STEAK, YOU MOTHER****ERS!!!! Just cook that ****ing ****, slap that ****er on a ****ing plate, and ****ing eat it!!!!!

Oh, and I agree with the gentleman in the article, "Beringer’s 1996 Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley Private Reserve makes an absolutely delightful accompaniment"

Edited May 17, 2016 by Skinsfan1311

[Zguy28]

I barely ever buy steak anymore because of how expensive it is, especially with a family of 5 (2 are teens). Sometimes I come across inexpensive chuck steaks. Either grill them direct or in a cast iron skillet. Serve medium rare with some chopped up herbs such as parsley or cilantro and if you want, add some chimichurri sauce.

 

Here is a similar recipe that my family loves:

 

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/member/views/steak-gaucho-style-with-argentinean-chimichurri-sauce-50029578

[zoony]

I liked that guys style

Here's one for all you stupid losers. If you are purchasing boneless skinless chicken for anything other than feeding to your 3 year old, you are a ****. A giant flapping vagina. Call someone you know and confess. Buy the chicken as God intended. With some sort of bone preferably whole. Did you ever see Clint Eastwood cooking chicken breast strips over an open fire? No. You didn't. Because Clint Eastwood isn't a giant ****.

Now reach down your pants, feel around for a second, and make sure your testicles are in place. Go to store, walk right past the boneless skinless breasts. Buy bone in. Feel testicles again. Note they are now slightly larger

[DC9]

Has anyone used the "Copper Chef" cookware?

 

My wife bought me a couple for father's day and gave it to me early.  I plan on using it this weekend for something.

 

I'm normally a smoker/cast iron skillet guy, but these are intriguing. 

[tshile]

I liked that guys style

Here's one for all you stupid losers. If you are purchasing boneless skinless chicken for anything other than feeding to your 3 year old, you are a ****. A giant flapping vagina. Call someone you know and confess. Buy the chicken as God intended. With some sort of bone preferably whole. Did you ever see Clint Eastwood cooking chicken breast strips over an open fire? No. You didn't. Because Clint Eastwood isn't a giant ****.

Now reach down your pants, feel around for a second, and make sure your testicles are in place. Go to store, walk right past the boneless skinless breasts. Buy bone in. Feel testicles again. Note they are now slightly larger

Damnit

Well, now I know.

[The 12th Commandment]

Which are the testicles?  

 

[bcl05]

Skewers of marinated grilled chicken hearts is one of my favorite snacks...  Deeelish.  

[The Professor]

Has anyone used the "Copper Chef" cookware?

 

My wife bought me a couple for father's day and gave it to me early.  I plan on using it this weekend for something.

 

I'm normally a smoker/cast iron skillet guy, but these are intriguing. 

 

LOL you mean that infommercial garbage?

[DC9]

LOL you mean that infommercial garbage?

 

Yeah, I guess nothing good ever came out of an infomercial.

 

Have you ever used it?

[chipwhich]

Yeah, I guess nothing good ever came out of an infomercial.

 

Have you ever used it?

 

My wife wanted it until she read the reviews online.  It's the same as any nonstick.  Works for a bit, can't use metal in it.  Then starts to stick over time.  I wouldn't recommend the running your mixer in the pan based on the internet reviews.

[China]

Grilled cheese anyone?

[DC9]

My wife wanted it until she read the reviews online.  It's the same as any nonstick.  Works for a bit, can't use metal in it.  Then starts to stick over time.  I wouldn't recommend the running your mixer in the pan based on the internet reviews.

 

Thanks.  I was more interested in the even temperature aspect of it.

 

But that was kind of my fear is that it would wear out quickly.

[The Professor]

Yeah, I guess nothing good ever came out of an infomercial.

 

Have you ever used it?

 

No and your sarcasm isn't far off.  99% of infomercial products are cheap ways to make a buck.

Is this not common knowledge?

 

Especially when a good copper pan is 70 plus dollars or in sets for hundreds.

 

Is it still in the box?  Can you return it?

Edited May 17, 2016 by The Professor

[DC9]

No and your sarcasm isn't far off.  99% of infomercial products are cheap ways to make a buck.

Is this not common knowledge?

 

Especially when a good copper pan is 70 plus dollars or in sets for hundreds.

 

Is it still in the box?  Can you return it?

 

I think you ought to check on how much it is before you start dropping science on folks, friend.

[The Professor]

I think you ought to check on how much it is before you start dropping science on folks, friend.

 

20 bucks

 

As seen on TV

Edited May 17, 2016 by The Professor

[CBass1724]

Now reach down your pants, feel around for a second, and make sure your testicles are in place. Go to store, walk right past the boneless skinless breasts. Buy bone in. Feel testicles again. Note they are now slightly larger

 

 

No and your sarcasm isn't far off.  99% of infomercial products are cheap ways to make a buck.

 

This is the best thing to ever come out of an infomercial.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaR4LcLbW8I

Edited May 17, 2016 by CBass1724