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Bill Cosby ... There is smoke.


Kosher Ham

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It's well known that Paul Newman enjoyed bestiality.

I HAD to Google "Paul Newman bestiality" . . . clicked on "images" . . . I actually stumbled upon a photo of Janice Dickinson and Cosby without actually seeing Paul Newman fornicating with animals. Not that I was looking forward to seeing that. 

He's a fraud.

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Lol. Maybe. I just don't see the reality of male sexuality represented in these rape discussions. There's a difficult truth for both genders to face for our culture to make real progress on this topic. Cosby seems like an a-hole. But how do we keep this from happening to our sisters and daughters?

Certainly not by ignoring the reality of the male psyche.

What does male sexuality have to do with Bill Cosby allegedly drugging and sexually assaulting women?  You can't blame the women because some asshole drugged them and took advantage of them, regardless of if sex while drunk and on pills enhances your personal experience.

 

Not saying that you think that its ok.  But the difference in this case is consent.  Women were violated after being drugged.  They did not tell Bill Cosby, hey get me some booze, roofie me and then have your way.  

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It has to do with the conversation these threads always become.

Someone tries to make the point that some of Cosby's victims may have put themselves in a bad situation.

Someone tells that guy he is blaming the victim.

Someone else tells that guy that he is just saying the women should avoid situations where they may be taken advantage of.

Second guy tells the third guy he's blaming the victim, that only the rapist is responsible.

A fourth chimes in that date rape is different from "real" rape.

A fifth excoriates the fourth over the belief that date rape is less rape than rape.

And so on.

Tailgate rape threads are a lot alike in ignoring the issue that the "blaming the victim" guy and the "date rape" guy tried to touch on without knowing it, and that is the aggressive psychological aspect of male sexuality.

Cosby relevance: The previous posters who tried to point out Cosby probably took advantage of chemically sedated women while chemically altered himself.

Why was Cosby twisted enough to do this? Why is it a rampant issue? Why are these stories getting worse instead of better?

It is not a one-off. Rape is about power and dominance. It is about a primal aggressive instinct that our culture tries to deny having gone wrong. It's sick, it's disgusting. But I think that it is an instinct (almost?) all males possess in a HEALTHY way to some degree. Rape is a perversion of that instinct which very well may be extremely healthy and good for a partnership if "pure".

Rape is going to continue getting worse until both men and women begin treating male sexuality with the healthy fear/respect it deserves. Yes, Cosby (if guilty, and I suspect he is) and frat rapists and any other rapists need to be flayed. But there are absolutely situations that both males and females should avoid.

Summary: This Cosby issue is a blip. A sickening blip, but only that (at least where the news is concerned).

Rape is a freaking THEME in our culture. If we don't address the underlying issue, if we keep telling men they just have to respect "no" and women that they just need to say it, we are doomed. We need to teach that fire burns, and to respect it. Men AND women need to avoid situations where twisted individuals may do twisted things. In cases of date rape where the guy was "triggered", "no" is never going to be enough.

Edited by drtdrums
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Rape is a freaking THEME in our culture. If we don't address the underlying issue, if we keep telling men they just have to respect "no" and women that they just need to say it, we are doomed. We need to teach that fire burns, and to respect it.

Men should respect "NO" and women have the right to say it.  PERIOD.  It's called self-control and respect for another's desire to not engage any further in said act.  

 

Rape is not a THEME, it's RAPE.  

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I saw a show recently were the female was saying they like to role play and she would love it if he played a burgular one night. Just surprise her and show up as a burgular, then take it.  

 

That's insane. My wife would shoot me without question.

 

You've never met a girl that liked it rough to the point where you think "you know what, if I do this I could go to prison is she changes her story tomorrow, because no one will believe me"?  Some women want you to hit and choke them, and not terribly lightly.  You could easily leave marks that would have you looking guilty as hell.  One girl that hooked up with a friend of mine said she wanted to "pretend to fight you off" complete with screaming no.  He got spooked and just got the hell out of there.

 

People are weird man.   

Edited by Destino
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I'm talking about essentially being out of control. There's no way I'm posting that kind of nsfw detail lol. As good as I can do for you here: aggressively giving what I want to give, aggressively taking what I want, aggressively coercing anything in between. Extremely self-centered self-gratification via partner.

So let me ask you, do you think it would be possible that if she told you to stop that you might not be able to?

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You've never met a girl that liked it rough to the point where you think "you know what, if I do this I could go to prison is she changes her story tomorrow, because no one will believe me"? Some women want you to hit and choke them, and not terribly lightly. You could easily leave marks that would have you looking guilty as hell. One girl that hooked up with a friend of mine said she wanted to "pretend to fight you off" complete with screaming no. He got spooked and just got the hell out of there.

People are weird man.

You definitely hear extreme stories, like a chick wanting a guy to choke her, slap her, even put a gun to her head.

I've watched way too much HLN, Bio, and Investigation Discovery over the years...

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Men should respect "NO" and women have the right to say it. PERIOD. It's called self-control and respect for another's desire to not engage any further in said act.

Rape is not a THEME, it's RAPE.

I think you misunderstood me amigo. I hate rape so deeply and have had loved ones' lives destroyed. When I say it's a theme, I mean it is a disease, a plague, a nightmare that is only getting worse. Our culture is making things worse, not better. I think we need to do so much more to end this demonic soul-crushing tidal wave of evil, and part of it has to be going beyond "no means no".

"No" matters to a rational mind. A rapist's mind is not rational. They are demented. Twisted. Psychologically and physiologically transformed into something less than human.

Edited by drtdrums
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That would be creepy.

Don't engage in kink with a woman you don't know and trust. Or sex for that matter. That's the lesson.

 

I agree. That is creepy as hell. R Kelly type of stuff.

 

Better off explaining it though than losing everything because of some kinky chick that you barely know.

 

I'm not really one that was typically into strange though. Strange meaning...just met her.

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Beat me to it. If I'm going freak, always rather do it with someone I know. That I know is a freak, that I can feel comfortable with, relax and have fun with. Maybe that's just me.

 

Absolutely. I dated a senior in HS when I was a freshman...man she was down for almost (no other women) whatever fantasy you could have wanted.

Made me a pro at the craft.

 

I dated a woman that wanted to be choked...She choked me too. It was intense and worth it. Broke it off when she told me a stupid lie and told me I should smack her because she deserved it. I seriously said What the ....?

 

It's not just you. I have done the deed in many ways with women. Always with someone I had a somewhat relationship with. Never just a random.

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This kinda thing is so hard to get a read on. I've unfortunately been on both sides of the spectrum.

My former fiance and her friend were both raped by a guy that fairly recently ran for governor of Texas. He took her and her friend out and plowed them with expensive champagne and a fantastic meal. They were subcontractors of his. Both blacked out during dinner and woke up under unpleasant circumstances. Both were terrified of saying anything for fear of losing their jobs. I was just a third party and it's one of the toughest things I've dealt with(I am also in that industry).

On the other hand a dear friend of mine years ago called rape against two of the guys in our group. They vehemently denied it, but in the end they both went to prison. After the legal process played out she admitted to everybody she made it up. She'd already taken the families for a big settlement. Both my friends were released but she didn't have to return the money and to this day they struggle with her false accusations.

I guess my point is I don't know what to make of these cases anymore. Rapists should be harshly punished. Such a personal thing to take from somebody. But false accusers should be held to that standard. And it blows that its so difficult sometimes to tell which is which.

Edited by Poman
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Pretty impressive to find all of the following eager victim blaming in one earnest post:

 

"Why were you there in the first place?"

"Didn't you have a drug problem?"

"How come you didn't mention blood to everyone in your public statement if you were on your period?"

"If it was there for hours, then how come the physical evidence didn't magically evaporate without a trace?"

"Why can't you account for what the perpetrator did with your or his clothes after he drugged you and you passed out?"

"How would anyone know that you aren't just accidentally or deliberately making this whole thing up?"

"Isn't this just a case of having consensual sex and then feeling bad about it later?"

 

And by impressive, I mean sad as hell.

 

That was like watching a 1980s-era college "judiciary proceeding" at work again.  It's enough to make even Janice Dickinson look pretty credible.  Why not ask her why she didn't bite his wang while being attacked?  It is no less ridiculous.

 

Not to mention the other dozen-plus accusers, most of whom mention the same M.O.  

 

I'm all about skepticism.  But to resort to victim blaming and wrap it up in the sheep's clothing of supposed rational doubt is, in this case, mind-so-open-it's-falling-out-of-the-skull territory.

 

I liked his show, too.  Sorry to have to say it plainly.  Turns out, Cosby is a creep.

No what is sad as hell is that you believe some half ****ed story with no evidence. If you are going to make a claim at least have some kind of proof, not baseless allegations that took place 30 years ago. You story should at least make sense. I love this victim blaming  thing, it has to be one of the most pathetic attempts at making a logical argument. Yes I blame the victim when there story sounds like BS. 

 

Let's talk about your BS victim blaming for a second. Those are all legitimate questions that are going to half to be asked and answered. A half ass story isn't going to convict anyone. Just because you claim to be a victim doesn't make your story 100% gospel. Hell, think a story that someone told you 20 years ago....think about how they told that same story now. I 100% bet that it has changed in 20 years. 

 

 

 

As far as the other accusers, I don't know what their claims are individually so I can't comment on that. I doubt you know what their claims are either only that you heard that there were other claims. 

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