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Men'sHealth: How Many Guys Cheat at Bachelor Parties?


Rdskn4Lyf21

Bachelor party fun  

53 members have voted

  1. 1. For those married, did you "cheat" at your bachelor/bachelorette party?

    • Yes - my spouse has no clue
      1
    • Yes - the spouse knows and was fine with it
      1
    • Yes - the spouse knows and was not happy about it
      0
    • No
      51


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It's all been covered by other posters here, but its really hard to trust any sort of study that has to do with sex statistics, because:

 

1) People lie.

2) Its really hard to get a representative sample.  The Vegas limo driver seemed to agree with the study, but she's driving around a very self-selecting group of people.  I've been on bachelor parties that consisted of going bowling, getting dinner and going to a bar.  I've also been on bachelor parties where there were prostitutes everywhere (see my previous post in this thread).  I'm guessing the latter are much more likely to end up in that limo driver's car during a Vegas bachelor party.

3) Its hard to define cheating.  Getting a lapdance from a stripper is considered cheating to some because there is touching involved.  Others don't considering it cheating if you 'just' make out with a random person because there was no sex act involved.

 

My favorite example of the pointlessness of sex studies is the countless studies that say the average man has had 7 partners, whereas the average woman has had 3.  Given that the male/female ratio is roughly 50:50, go ahead and give me an example where that could be possible, unless someone is lying.

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I'm amazed at the number of guys who try to cheat on their wives on business travel.

 

I think it's the ease of it that's the temptation. In 1984, to cheat while traveling, you had to either pay for it or be the kind of dude who can get action in a hotel bar on a Tuesday night. If you are doing #1, you are a particular kind of asshole and cheating on your wife is probably the least of your problems. And #2 is a small subset of a small subset.

 

But getting on an online dating site and messing around for 15 minutes, can give you endless options all over the world.

 

As for bachelor parties, I've seen grooms to be get a little too friendly at a few, but I've never seen or heard of anyone actually having sex. There are certainly guys I know who would not report the full extent of their activities to their brides.

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Never had a bachelor's party...didn't need/want one. 

 

I really didn't see the point considering every time I hung out w/ my boys (when single and dating my current wife), it was about as close to a bachelor's party as you could get. 

 

As far as the question, I think it's beyond foolish to cheat on your soon-to-be spouse before you get married.  If you're going to lose self-control before, what's going to happen after?  Save yourself the headache, and get all that **** out of your system when SINGLE.  It's not fair to the other person and you're going to potentially set yourself up for some awful **** down the road. 

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I didn't have a bachelor party.

I wouldn't really call mine a bachelor party.  After the wedding rehearsal dinner, all the grooms and one of my best friends (who couldnt be in the wedding) and dad when out to a pub and drank and shot the ****.  When my dad left, they wanted to take me to a strip club and I declined, went home.

 

Wouldn't change a thing today and would do it the same way as before.

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I got a group of 16 together in a suite for a Caps game then with 5 of my best friends went on a weekend golf trip when it was warmer. 

 

I have really only been to one bachelor party that would fit the bill for a typical "done up" event. It was crazy. Things happened on that trip (no cheating, but as far as drinking, activities (no not drugs), etc) that you only see in the movies. I had a blast, but was pretty excited to get home to the wife afterwards lol.

 

I think the best kind of BP is one where you get your best friends together for some golf and drinking, preferably somewhere warm.

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I've witnessed how cheating can ruin someones life, seen it done to close family members and friends and all the ugliness that comes afterwards, especially if it results in divorce.  It's very simple, if you get to a point in your relationship where you want to physically have sex with another woman other than your GF/wife, break up with them, get a separation, then go get some.

I've always wondered how people can cheat. Just doesn't make sense to me. I also understand that some people might find themselves in a relationship and are either afraid of being alone, pressured into getting married by family/spouse, or realize after the fact that they've made a mistake. I don't know. In those cases, you have to do what's best for all involved and get out. I think it's selfish to try and make something work that doesn't have a real chance or is faked ... while cheating on the side.

 

I do wonder, though, what some guys do when their wives/significant others go through a drastic physical change. It goes both ways, and can be said for guys who let themselves go as well. But if I'm a good looking guy, and I marry a good looking girl, and within 5 years she has put on pounds and become less attractive ... of course I still love her, but if the primal attraction is gone because of the weight gain, and if the cute girl I see at business conferences keeps hitting on me, at some point, it might be hard to say no. Personally, I'm fairly confident if I faced that scenario I would have enough respect not to cheat. But I know there are plenty of people with MUCH weaker convictions than me. And I feel like that's the driving force behind most cheating. 

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Biologically, every guy would like to have sex with every attractive woman they see out there, if there were no consequences.  Anyone who says different is lying.  Anyone who says "my wife is the only person I see" is lying. 

 

But there ARE consequences, and my marriage is worth more to me than that.  Respecting my wife is worth more than that.  Keeping my promises is worth more than that.  

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Personally, I've never been to a strip club and it's something that I find to be a waste of time and money. I'm hoping to one day have a bachelor party that's a camping trip or something of that variety.

Strip clubs are hilarious places to people watch, I recommend going just to laugh at the clientle/workers sometime. My first experience was at a girl's 21st birthday who wanted to go to Paper Moon in Springfield. Highlight of that night was my friend getting a free lapdance from the girl with the most "tread worn off of her tires" because she was friends with his sister and he took her son to Icecapades once.

The last bachelor party I went to was a camping trip, with a visit to a strip club thrown into the mix. There was definitely nobody trying to hook-up with a stripper but it helped that even in the lighting the strippers weren't particularly attractive.

The Vegas bachelor party I went to was also fairly fun, The Spearmint Rhino is probably the biggest money pit I've ever been to but the girls were very attractive. I think a couple of the groom's frat brothers may have gotten escorts sent to their hotel room but definitely not him.

Those fratboys on that trip were really lame. They spent half of it in one of the hotel rooms trapped in a cycle of doing blow and talking about what they'd do when they were done doing it, which normally took 3 to 4 hours.

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I think also if you have kids, losing all respect from your kids would be a pretty big reason not to do it. It scares me to think of these statistics with my parents because if it was true it would mean that I'd have to lose all respect for them and cut ties. I take family pretty seriously. Nothing is more important than family to me. And with all due respect if your'e a cheater than you're a home wrecker and I wish the worst upon you. But my parents have been married for 26 years now and that seems like a long time and if something would've gone wrong it would've happened by now so I hope I'm in the clear.

 

I do have a cousin who it happened to and she was devastated. I remember inviting her and her Fiancee to a UMD WVU game in 2009 and when I got there only she was there and I was like "Oh where is Will" and then she basically sat next to me and cried for the whole game. It was not enjoyable and she was a wreck for months.

 

Its a very evil thing to do. I lose all respect for anyone who does it. Doesn't matter what the circumstances are. Either your wife is "okay" with it as in you already cheated and she is trying to forgive you to save a relationship, or she gave you a "free pass" which only a D bag would actually use and a "free pass" means she already doesn't trust you which mean a long term relationship is not going to work. And if she gave you a free pass more than likely she is getting the D from somewhere else as well which is no bueno.

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The Vegas bachelor party I went to was also fairly fun, The Spearmint Rhino is probably the biggest money pit I've ever been to but the girls were very attractive. I think a couple of the groom's frat brothers may have gotten escorts sent to their hotel room but definitely not him.

Those fratboys on that trip were really lame. They spent half of it in one of the hotel rooms trapped in a cycle of doing blow and talking about what they'd do when they were done doing it, which normally took 3 to 4 hours.

 

 

That's where i went in Vegas.  It is sure expensive but it was a fun experience. 

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I think also if you have kids, losing all respect from your kids would be a pretty big reason not to do it. It scares me to think of these statistics with my parents because if it was true it would mean that I'd have to lose all respect for them and cut ties. I take family pretty seriously. Nothing is more important than family to me. And with all due respect if your'e a cheater than you're a home wrecker and I wish the worst upon you. But my parents have been married for 26 years now and that seems like a long time and if something would've gone wrong it would've happened by now so I hope I'm in the clear.

 

I do have a cousin who it happened to and she was devastated. I remember inviting her and her Fiancee to a UMD WVU game in 2009 and when I got there only she was there and I was like "Oh where is Will" and then she basically sat next to me and cried for the whole game. It was not enjoyable and she was a wreck for months.

 

Its a very evil thing to do. I lose all respect for anyone who does it. Doesn't matter what the circumstances are. Either your wife is "okay" with it as in you already cheated and she is trying to forgive you to save a relationship, or she gave you a "free pass" which only a D bag would actually use and a "free pass" means she already doesn't trust you which mean a long term relationship is not going to work. And if she gave you a free pass more than likely she is getting the D from somewhere else as well which is no bueno.

 

you would cut-off contact wit your parents if you found out that one of them had an affair at some point in their lives?     really?

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you would cut-off contact wit your parents if you found out that one of them had an affair at some point in their lives?     really?

 

Yea because they would be a home wrecker. I'm not exaggerating. They would have ruined the family. Nothing is more important than family. Nothing.

 

It would mean that all you could think about was getting your load off and not about your spouse or your kids. That's completely unacceptable. It hurts even thinking about being put in that situation knowing that your mom or your dad were banging other people while you're at school or soccer practice or w/e/ Can't respect that no sir get out of my life 

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Man, don't cross Moco he will never forgive you. No mistakes allowed ever.

 

I get it man, cheating is messed up stuff, but you can't hold grudges forever. I get that family is important, but at a certain point you have to realize people aren't perfect.

 

Would I be furious and hurt if I found out one of my parents cheated after 30 years of marriage? Of course, but I wouldn't disown them. 

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Yea because they would be a home wrecker. I'm not exaggerating. They would have ruined the family. Nothing is more important than family. Nothing.

 

It would mean that all you could think about was getting your load off and not about your spouse or your kids. That's completely unacceptable. It hurts even thinking about being put in that situation knowing that your mom or your dad were banging other people while you're at school or soccer practice or w/e/ Can't respect that no sir get out of my life 

 

actually...at that point, you would be the home wrecker.  Nothing is more important than family, and that is why it is important enough to stick with family, and get past the hurdles that we all face in life.  That isn't taking a principled position, that is burning down your house because the curtains are dirty.  

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By cheating, I"m asssuming they mean sex and not something like a lap dance which isn't a big deal... in which case personally I don't believe the 1/3 number...

 

Only been to one strip club which was lap dance, but no touching privates and definitely no sex ... as I understand it, thats how most of the higher end clubs are if they want to stay in business

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