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What would Ann Landers say?


TheKurp

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A good friend of mine (3 times divorced and currently single) calls me up last week and says his daughter (22-year-old) wants him to join her and a female co-worker (34-year-old, recently divorced with no kids) for dinner that Friday night. My friend has briefly met this woman before and described her as a "knockout". He asks if I'm free to meet them after dinner for drinks at a wine bar. I said, "yes" and joined them after they had dinner at a nearby restaurant.

Let me say that this 34-year-old doesn't look a day over 26. Blonde, gorgeous, and a body that is obviously the product of frequent work-outs. Oh yeah, a seemingly nice personality too. :)

Later in the evening we meet some more friends at a nearby bar and of course, more drinking followed. A good time was had by all, I think, but the end of the night is still a bit fuzzy. Fuzzy because I can't remember the exact circumstances which caused the 34-year-old to say to me, "Are you asking for my number?" To which I replied, "Uh sure, I'd like that." Since no one had a pen I told her to call my cell phone which she did right then, and thus, I now have her cell phone number stored.

Some friend, huh?

I've talked to just about everyone who was there that night with the exception of my friend and his daughter. It seems everyone has a different perception of the vibes between my friend and this woman. Obviously if my friend is very interested in pursuing something with her I'll drop any thought of trying to date her. I'd simply ask him but I know him well enough to know that even if he is interested, he won't tell me the truth because he's just that kind of guy, not wanting to stand in my way. However I've got to believe that if he is interested there'll be some hidden resentment if I date her, and I'm not one to damage a friendship over something like this. Then again, did I mention how damn good-looking this woman is?

Obviously the woman in question has some say in the matter.

It's my personal code of conduct to never ask or accept a woman's phone number unless I have every intention of calling her. So this I'll do. However the context of that conversation is the quandry. I mentioned Friday night that I had tickets to "Three Doors Down" on Nov. 5th at Hard Rock and it just so happens that they're one of her favorite bands. She jokingly indicated that she'd like to go with me. So obviously I'm going have to broach that subject when I call her.

I have some idea of how I'm going to handle this situation. I'm just curious to see what opinion, if any, anyone else has.

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Did your friend tell you he was interested in her? Or was that just your assumption? Maybe he invited you because he thought you and her would hit it off. Even if that wasnt the case, it seems to mne that the choices are:

A- You call her and date her.

B- Neither of you date her.

Unless Im missing something, I'd say go for it. Your friend will understand.

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Call her. Get a good chat going and see how interested you both are. If the spark is still there, ask her what her intentions with your friend are. Explain your problem to her. She will understand and like the fact that you don't want to step on your freinds toes. If you are both still interested it may be best if she let's slip to your freind that she is interested in seeing you. If you handle it right, your friend will understand. Just don't try to hide it. It will make it seem like you are going behind his back.

It would be different if they were already dating but as it is they just met. He had had his chance at dinner and for whatever reason she seems to like you. I say go for it but keep it above board and he will understand.

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I'm still trying to figure out why your buddy would have invited YOU if he were truly interested in this woman? Sounds to me like maybe he's intimidated by her or feels she's out of his league. Also, I'd have to believe that this woman knew the 'idea' was for her and the daughter's father to potentially hook up? The fact that you were the one she expressed interest would seem to indicate she isn't particularly interested in Dad?

Like the other guys have said, its not like they were dating already. I'd just mention it to your friend and ask him if it would bother him. Even if it irked him a little, don't see how he could blame you, and who knows, this might turn out to be a special relationship. If he's a good friend, he'd realize she probably wasn't interested in him to begin with, and wish you luck.

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Originally posted by Mad Mike

Call her. Get a good chat going and see how interested you both are. If the spark is still there, ask her what her intentions with your friend are. Explain your problem to her. She will understand and like the fact that you don't want to step on your freinds toes. If you are both still interested it may be best if she let's slip to your freind that she is interested in seeing you. If you handle it right, your friend will understand. Just don't try to hide it. It will make it seem like you are going behind his back.

It would be different if they were already dating but as it is they just met. He had had his chance at dinner and for whatever reason she seems to like you. I say go for it but keep it above board and he will understand.

This is exactly 'what-not-to-do.' Sorry Mad Mike, but this is bad advice.

DO NOT make this an issue w/ the girl, or it will never happen.

Trust me. I've been in this position before. It only looks like your sweating the girl, and once she sees that, she'll be out.

Just go w/ it, don't mention it, and see what happens.

If something gets going, then tell your friend (in passing). Again, don't make an issue of it.

Here's what might happen if you do- you tell your friend all this crap about getting her number, etc., and nothing ever happens w/ the girl, and you just look like an ass.

Don't sweat it man. That's the only way it will work. Ever.

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Interesting perspective freakofthenorth.

My thoughts were pretty much aligned with Mad Mike's. I even talked with a lawyer friend of mine and she thought the girl might be impressed that I was thinking of my friend. However her husband disagreed and didn't think I should even mention it. Although he didn't cite the same reason as you, meaning, it appearing as though I was "sweating the girl" and all. I suppose I can see how it might look like that from a girl's perspective. Definitely food for thought.

Code,

I certainly didn't start out the night "bustin moves" on her, but given things were a bit fuzzy after a few drinks I wouldn't deny with any certainty that the same was the case later on.

As for "left" or "right", well, she's so fine I could care less if she's kindred spirit with Kilmer, Sarge, and NavyDave. :)

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Tarhog,

I too thought it was curious that my friend invited me along. My guess is that he figured he'd be more relaxed if I was around to talk to as well, in case there were any lapses in the conversation.

I did find out the next day that the daughter turned to a friend of mine that was there as well and intimated to him that she didn't think a connection was happening between the two.

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Originally posted by TheKurp

Interesting perspective freakofthenorth.

My thoughts were pretty much aligned with Mad Mike's. I even talked with a lawyer friend of mine and she thought the girl might be impressed that I was thinking of my friend. However her husband disagreed and didn't think I should even mention it. Although he didn't cite the same reason as you, meaning, it appearing as though I was "sweating the girl" and all. I suppose I can see how it might look like that from a girl's perspective. Definitely food for thought.

Code,

I certainly didn't start out the night "bustin moves" on her, but given things were a bit fuzzy after a few drinks I wouldn't deny with any certainty that the same was the case later on.

As for "left" or "right", well, she's so fine I could care less if she's kindred spirit with Kilmer, Sarge, and NavyDave. :)

To add just a bit more...

The fact that you can't even remember how you got her number suggests that you were very relaxed in your approach, and that's what she likes...otherwise, she wouldn't have given her # to you.

So try your best to maintain that, and don't overwhelm her w/ all of this stress. Just enjoy my friend. And go skins.

And don't ever tell her you posted this on extremeskins. Ever.

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Originally posted by TheKurp

As for "left" or "right", well, she's so fine I could care less if she's kindred spirit with Kilmer, Sarge, and NavyDave. :)

Ultra Babe: "I love George W. Bush, he's my kind of guy, he's SO the anti Bill Clinton, who could possibly like that scum bag"

Kurp: "Yeah... I agree titally, I mean totally"

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Can you say...

C@CK BLOCK!!!

:hump: :hump: :hump:

Dude, I think you really know what's going on but don't wana admit it to yourself because your holding out on the hope you will hook up and get some stank on your hang-low.

Here's the solution to your problem. Take her to the concert, if your lucky she might bang you that night for taking her. Afterwards go to your friend's house and let him smell your finger. Problem SOLVED!

Damn, I'm good!!! Move over Dr. Phil... :cool: j/k

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Johnny Punani is friggin' hilarious! But don't listen to him.

"Stank on your hang low?" Come on dude.

Ok, check it out Kurp- never, ever leave messages on girls' voice mail that you're trying to date.

But you did it already, so just let it chill- she might actually call you.

Otherwise, just kick back, and maybe you'll see her in the future.

Good luck bro.

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Answering machines--created for women to back out of dates! I would try calling again, no more often than twice a week, but don't leave any more message for her unless you fail to reach her after about 3 more tries, then leave one final message "with a little balls to it"--it will probably be your last chance to possibly revive her interest. Put some thought into what you will say on her machine before you leave the "final message". Try to call her when she will almost definitely be at home (no, this doesn't mean at 2 am on a weeknight!). Good luck!

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