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WEEK 16 PREDICTIONS


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DALLAS @ WASHINGTON

In latest attempt to be fired, Mike Shanahan compares gay sex to Tony Romo sits to pee throwing 4th qtr INTs in magazine interview. Cowboys win 28-27

MIAMI @ BUFFALO

Due to global warming, Dolphins will play in Buffalo rain instead of usual blizzard. Thanks a lot OBAMA! say Bills fans. Phins win 26-14

INDIANAPOLIS @ KANSAS CITY

After another spectacular game Jamal Charles delights fans with balloon animals, light humor & clever card tricks. Chiefs mash Colts 36-20

NEW ORLEANS @ CAROLINA

Drew Brees forgets words to pregame cheer, covers by lip synching One Direction song for camera. Confused Saints fall to Panthers 37-28

ST LOUIS @ TAMPA BAY

Epic Bucs Rams game hailed as "Best time to finish Christmas shopping". Rams lay an egg, Bucs win 5th game of the season 24-20

CLEVELAND @ NEW YORK JETS

During halftime tribute to beloved Christmas Story movie, Jets trained seal Mark Sanchez sticks tongue to frozen goalpost. Browns win 26-14

VIKINGS @ BENGALS

Josh Freeman caught photocopying his ass during Vikings Holiday party, casting his future in doubt once again. Bengals win big 36-24

DENVER @ HOUSTON

Visiting QB Peyton Manning miffed when Houston tour bus guide mistakes his forehead for the Astrodome. Broncos crush Texans 38-10

TENNESSEE @ JACKSONVILLE

In Holiday charity event, all fans attending Jaguars Titans game to be given 40 oz beer, lottery ticket & ½ gram of meth. Titans win 27-17

ARIZONA @ SEATTLE

Engineer admits Seahawks stadium designed to look like vagina. Earth shaking noise feature was pleasant side effect. Cardinals lose 24-21

NEW YORK GIANTS @ DETROIT

Eli Manning makes such pathetic loser faces that Sara MacLachlan plans to use his pics in next animal cruelty commercial. Lions win 34-17

NEW ENGLAND @ BALTIMORE

Giselle inconsolable after seeing hubby Tom Brady linger too long during postgame fanny pat with Joe Flacco. Ravens defeat Patriots 28-24

PITTSBURGH @ GREEN BAY

Big Ben tries to get out of meaningless Steeler game by wearing Aaron Rodgers jersey & hanging out on Packers sidelines. Steelers win 27-14

OAKLAND @ SAN DIEGO

Over / Under on parking lot stabbings for Chargers Raiders game currently at 6. Chargers win 31-10

CHICAGO @ PHILADELPHIA

Fun fact: Over the holidays more people commit suicide listening to Cris Collinsworth than any other time of year. Eagles defeat Bears 30-20

SAN FRANCISCO @ ATLANTA

ESPN forced to run parental advisory during disturbing coverage of hapless Falcons defense trying to stop 49ers run game. 49ers win 31-13

~Bang

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