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Breaking The Ice/asking Someone Out


BraunMan92

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Hey, this is going to probably sound silly but here goes.  I work as a math content specialist for a number of different middle schools.  I want to ask the secretary at one of the schools out on a date, but am maybe at that particular school once a week.  Have been there twice thus far this year and each time we've exchanged pleasantries briefly, but extended conversation is impossible at the beginning and end of the school day with the traffic in the office.

 

I'm just not sure the best most casual way to go about it - as I'm usually just in the office to check in and out for the day.  I am there again next Wednesday.

 

Any good ways to open doors in these types of situations?  This is something I wish I was better at doing.

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Just casually ask her if a starbucks or some cafe is nearby. When she tells you and gives directions, ask her if she would like to meet you there. ( your treat)

If that don't work, groveling on your hands and knees?

Yea something like this is gold. The idea is to come off as easy going and non creepy since it's in her work space.

I'd strike up a convo along the along the lines of how have you been ect ect since you guys already have some rapport that should be easy then progress into telling her that you think she is pretty cool/you enjoy talking with her/she seems interesting and that you all should go to lunch or something.

There are no magic lines since most of the time women know within the first 30 seconds of seeing you if they would date you. The most important thing is just to be sure of yourself and confident because the quickest way to turn off a girl that would go out with you is fumbling over your words/seeming nervous. Just remember that it's not a big deal even if she says no and there are about 150 million other women in this country. lol the less pressure you put on yourself the better you will do.

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You're really in a tough spot here. If all you've done is exchange mere pleasantries (your words, not mine), then you might want to hold off on the asking her out stuff, because it sounds like at the moment that it's nothing more than that (at least on her end). If she's given you a clue that she might like you, then you'll have more rope, and she'll give you some of her free time, but if it's basically a "Hi, how are you? How's your day?" thing, then that's tough. 

 

You generally want to find a way to engage her in conversation, enough to discuss stuff that has nothing to do with work, like music, movies, tv, etc. Mainly something funny. Even when it comes to innocent coffee, she has to have a reason to go out to get coffee with youYour best bet would be to get her to have coffee with you for work related stuff, but you have to do something to let her know that it'll be worth it, because even basically "Hey, want to go get some coffee?" Sounds a little weird.

 

If she is inaccessible before and after school, then find a way to get her to go out to lunch with you. Maybe have a quick discussion between when you first arrive and when you eat lunch, that has something to do with food, and then you come in with the "Hey, I like to eat there too" line, and work from there, an she'll agree to go out to eat lunch with you the next time you're there.

 

The only other option I see, where you might have some success, is to pretend like there's something wrong with your car (or outright sabotage if you like her that much, lol), after hours, where you know she'll see you in plain view when she's leaving, where she'll hopefully ask you "Is everything all right?" And then you can get to work.  :lol:

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Mr Sinister you are a devious SoB, sabotage your car, really? Hahaha.

I do agree that you want to talk to her away from coworkers, lunch is usually the best way. Just get her somewhere where she can talk and you can look at her patiently and, at appropriate times, encourage her to talk more. Once you've wowed her with your ability to demonstrate interest without talking too much, ask her out to get coffee or something.

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It'll be tough if there's a lot of traffic, you don't want to put her on the spot and depending on your don't give a ****-ness, could be embarassing. 

 

But yeah, a "date" maybe a bit much. Coffee is nice and neutral. No pressure. 

I agree with this.

 

Howeva, I wouldn't really trust my judgment in these matters :D

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Meh, just ask her if she's like to get some coffee.   Don't bother waiting any longer.

 

The worst thing that can happen is she says "no thanks."  Coffee is not a big deal.  

 

Frankly, getting shot down is much better than not asking and wondering "what if" for the rest of time.   

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Approach for coffee or lunch 

 

Good luck 

 

And I want to wish you the best of luck, I've always been a chicken when approaching girls. Been talking recently in the Random Thoughts thread about whether it was moral to approach girls in the grocery store. I got a little **** for it and I've been more open to approaching in the store as well as public places. (I'm naturally a little shy, so it's hard to approach) :(

 

So Good luck



Mr Sinister you are a devious SoB. Sabatoeur your car, really? Hahaha.

I do agree that you want to talk to her away from coworkers, lunch is usually the best way. Just get her somewhere where she can talk and you can look at her patiently and, at appropriate times, encourage her to talk more. Once you've wowed her with your ability to demonstrate interest without talking too much, ask her out to get coffee or something.

 

I've been talking with this girl and we've been having lunch together, but recently another guy that she knows from college has joined our training program and she talks to him too. So I don't know what to do. I might have to make a move soon, ask her out. 

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If she's a secretary, ask her to do something for you like make some copies.  Sneak a nude pic of yourself into the papers.  Once she's done, compliment her on her copying skills and ask if she'd like to put her hand on your private area.  If she says anything other than "I'm calling the police" then you're in.

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Approach for coffee or lunch 

 

Good luck 

 

And I want to wish you the best of luck, I've always been a chicken when approaching girls. Been talking recently in the Random Thoughts thread about whether it was moral to approach girls in the grocery store. I got a little **** for it and I've been more open to approaching in the store as well as public places. (I'm naturally a little shy, so it's hard to approach) :(

 

So Good luck

 

I've been talking with this girl and we've been having lunch together, but recently another guy that she knows from college has joined our training program and she talks to him too. So I don't know what to do. I might have to make a move soon, ask her out. 

 

Sounds like you're in the Friend Zone. RIP.

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I don't know, we talk a lot during lunch when the other guy goes out of the class. We'll see 

 

There's talking, and then there's talking. If you both have been going out to lunch for awhile and A) She hasn't given you a hint that she likes you, or B ) You haven't done anything to let her know that you want to go out with her, or both, and yet you both still keep eating/sitting together, she's either waiting for you to ask her out (meaning that you've missed all the signs) , or you're in the friend zone.

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I don't know, we talk a lot during lunch when the other guy goes out of the class. We'll see

Word to the wise... Chicks go out to lunch with their friends. You need to ask her out on a date (and use the words 'date' or 'go out,' something that suggests a romantic time together.) Tell her you like her and think she's cute. You have to let her know you're interested in her and want to get to know her as a woman, and not just a friend. If she likes you, she'll let you know she's interested in you, too. If not, no worries, move on.

Girls dig bold guys who take risks.

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Approach for coffee or lunch 

 

Good luck 

 

And I want to wish you the best of luck, I've always been a chicken when approaching girls. Been talking recently in the Random Thoughts thread about whether it was moral to approach girls in the grocery store. I got a little **** for it and I've been more open to approaching in the store as well as public places. (I'm naturally a little shy, so it's hard to approach) :(

 

So Good luck

 

I've been talking with this girl and we've been having lunch together, but recently another guy that she knows from college has joined our training program and she talks to him too. So I don't know what to do. I might have to make a move soon, ask her out. 

It's absolutely appropriate to approach girls in a grocery store.  One could reply to you with, "Is that a cucumber in your pants or are you happy to see me?"  It's a win win situation!

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Word to the wise... Chicks go out to lunch with their friends. You need to ask her out on a date (and use the words 'date' or 'go out,' something that suggests a romantic time together.) Tell her you like her and think she's cute. You have to let her know you're interested in her and want to get to know her as a woman, and not just a friend. If she likes you, she'll let you know she's interested in you, too. If not, no worries, move on.

Girls dig bold guys who take risks.

 

She was wearing a really nice shirt today. I complimented her on it. I also complimented her on her name, which is so beautiful. 

 

I'll have to make a move soon, as paranoid me continues to worry about competition. I mean, there's a guy she knows from college there! In my class! 

 

She seems pretty cool about me having lunch together with her, so I'll have to make a move soon. Thanks. I don't think she has a boyfriend either, but I can't be sure, she's never mentioned or implied that she has one through the week that we've been talking. The only issue is, if I get rejected I don't know what to do. I sit next to her so it'd be pretty awkward. Hey...um...I'm the guy that asked you out and you said no, but I'm still sitting here every day. :| 

It's absolutely appropriate to approach girls in a grocery store.  One could reply to you with, "Is that a cucumber in your pants or are you happy to see me?"  It's a win win situation!

 

In the Thoughts thread I said it was inappropriate as I did not know her. I was just walking in the shower products aisle looking for shampoo and there was another cute girl there all by herself. I didn't even acknowledge her at all. 

 

A few weeks later another cute girl was blocking the way in the aisle so I said "Excuse me" and passed by. That's the extent of "approaching" I do in the grocery store. The way I see it, they aren't there to be ogled and flirted on by total strangers. They're there to shop. 

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She was wearing a really nice shirt today. I complimented her on it. I also complimented her on her name, which is so beautiful.

Good! She definitely noticed that. There's probably something in her head telling her you like her.

She seems pretty cool about me having lunch together with her, so I'll have to make a move soon.

Yes. The sooner the better.

The only issue is, if I get rejected I don't know what to do. I sit next to her so it'd be pretty awkward. Hey...um...I'm the guy that asked you out and you said no, but I'm still sitting here every day. :|

Yeah, that's the sucky risk you have to take. But there's a price for anything worth having. That's life. If you really like her, you have to be willing to give her the chance to reject you.

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