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Had to put my dog to sleep


KuNiT21

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I'm going through a very difficult time as I had to put my dog to sleep on Friday.  It was very sudden and I just need someone to tell me I made the right decision.  I was taking a shower and he came in the bathroom and threw up.  No biggy, I cleaned it up and went out to the living room where he began throwing up more.  I comforted him and thought maybe his tummy was upset and we went for a walk.  He was very happy on his walk but when we came home he lost all his energy, became cold to the touch, and wouldn't move.  I brought him to the Vet where they took xrays and pulled liquid from his stomach to see if blood was in there (it was).  They said they could operate but didn't know where the mass was until they removed his spleen.  They said it could be just a mass or it could have spread all over to his vital organs (they weren't sure until they went in).  They said if it was cancer and they stopped the bleeding it was a very aggressive cancer and maybe he could have 4-6 months.  I didn't have time to get another opinion or go to another vet due to the fact that he was bleeding into his stomach.  They said his quality of life after the surgery would be very difficult.  I made the decision to put him to sleep.  I sat with him for an hour until I rang the doorbell that it was time.  I was with him for his final breathe and I'm not sure if he knew I was holding him (he was in shock) when the injections went in.  I had him for 10 1/2 years and I'm having a very difficult time coping with my decision.  I don't know how to move on.  Guilt is on my mind.  I live by myself in a fairly large home and I just feel lost and alone.  My girlfriend lives closer to work (about 45 minutes away) in her own home but I feel like just being alone.  I loved going to work because I knew how excited I felt on my way home knowing he was looking out the window waiting for me.  If I left to get gas (2 minutes away) I would come and he would greet me at the door, cry and waggle his behind.  He was well taken care of even though I was at work 9 hours a day.  My dad worked on the road so he would come here for lunch everyday and play with him for an hour.  I just need help coping.  I need to know I made the right decision.  Thank You.

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An important part of grief is that others shall not tell you how you should feel. People take this time differently. So do the best you can for yourself, just like you did the best you could for your pup. His pain is over now and hopefully, when you're ready, your's will lessen as well. 

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 Guilt is on my mind.

This is a very normal and natural stage of grief in a situation like this, along with second-guessing and doubt, and I know (from personal experience) that it won't settle the issue, but you made the right decision.

I've never mentioned it here, but my wife and I lost our yellow lab Diesel in pretty much this way in November, the day before the election. We were worried about our other dog, Brier, who had eaten a part of a Brillo pad, so we were up early to take them for a walk, and he just collapsed. I had to carry him into the emergency vet because he couldn't stand, and the eventual news was that he had a very fast acting, aggressive cancer that had spread to his heart and lungs. We didn't feel like we had any time either. The odd thing was that although it was the hardest thing I've ever done, it was also easy. We knew what we had to do.

One moment he was healthy and strong as an ox, and the next he was gone. It left a giant hole in our lives.

One of the biggest factors in our decision is that we didn't want to put him through the trauma of treatment at his age (he was 9), and that although we could have taken him home with some therapies for a while, we didn't want him to have another episode while he was alone. We didn't want him to have to face that without us, so we held him and let him go out without being scared, and with us holding him and letting him know he was loved.

It sounds like you made the same decision for the same reasons, and I'm sure it was the right one.

We could never replace Diesel, but one (eventual) positive that came out of this is that we were able to rescue another great (in his own way) dog, Bean, and although it still hurts to think about Diesel, we can laugh and enjoy his memory now too, so hang in there.

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Sorry for your loss!!!! You made the right decision though. I also put down my dog down when he was 15 years old.. It hurt me a lot having to put him down, but I couldn't let him suffer.  Again my condolences!!!

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I know just how you feel.

 

I lost Ovie (6 year old Golden) about 6 weeks ago - cancer related.

 

You shouldn't feel guilt.  You made a courageous choice to end his suffering.  Sadly, dogs don't cope well with cancer and it usually is very aggressive in them.  Be happy you got that last hour or so to be with him.  That's more than a lot of us get.

 

I know the pain is deep - still cry somtimes myself.

 

Trust me, it does get better.  Try to remember some of the good times you both had.

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I 100% understand as we just had to make that same decision 4 days ago. I have not even got past looking for him in his favorite spot for a second before I remember. Dogs give us unconditional love and they enrich our lives so much. I'm still in the guilt phase too. He went in old age after an extremely good life and I still feel guilty even though I knew he was ready and in pain. It is always a hard decision. Hopefully it won't be long until I change my feelings from I don't want another dog - to what kind of dog do I want. I know that will happen because that is how I've felt after each dog I have lost over the years.

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