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Gawker: Horrible Christmas Gifts for the Children of People You Hate


HogNose

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Check out the Daddle.... :doh: My kids would love it.

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There is no better way to ruin someone's holiday than to arm their children with the tools to endlessly annoy them. Here are some suggestions.

After you have children, you quickly learn to fear birthdays and holidays. More dreadful than even the sugar psychoses and attention tantrums is the destabilizing influence of gifts: Into your carefully calibrated world of punishment and reward are thrust these wrapped mysteries from clueless relatives and negligent friends. If you're not careful—if you don't establish and enforce rigid operational security to prevent your children from becoming aware of the existence of a boxed present from Uncle Ed in the closet—you can find yourself thrown into a nightmare of someone else's making.

Here are some good ways to use your friends' children as proxies in a war of annoyance.

Continued.....

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Well, VeggieTales is known enough that people know what it is, but what I didn't know until I had a kid is that they made another show called 3-2-1 Penguins!, which looks fine until the Christian propaganda starts. The problem is telling your kid, "No, we aren't watching that" after they have seen it.

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Moon sand

/thread

---------- Post added December-8th-2011 at 10:10 AM ----------

Well, VeggieTales is known enough that people know what it is, but what I didn't know until I had a kid is that they made another show called 3-2-1 Penguins!, which looks fine until the Christian propaganda starts. The problem is telling your kid, "No, we aren't watching that" after they have seen it.

:ols: He said Christian propaganda....:rotflmao: You know they sell those in Christian bookstores right? It's not like they're sneaking it into your pron.

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He said Christian propaganda....:rotflmao: You know they sell those in Christian bookstores right? It's not like they're sneaking it into your pron.

The point is that someone else is buying the books. Only they are privy to where the books were purchased. I am very careful about what kind of stuff my child is exposed to. I try to keep him away from ideas that are confusing to him, til I feel that he can make up his own mind.

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Well, VeggieTales is known enough that people know what it is, but what I didn't know until I had a kid is that they made another show called 3-2-1 Penguins!, which looks fine until the Christian propaganda starts. The problem is telling your kid, "No, we aren't watching that" after they have seen it.

Uhh...I'm pretty sure they only sell those at Christian Bookstores. They're not trying to sneak anything past anyone. Phil Vischer isn't trying to indoctrinate your kids.

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I would add harmonica to that list, or drum set if you have a little more money.

Heeh I can't wait to have grandkids (ok I can) but I want to give them a drum set. Then tell my kids, "I didn't want my grand kids getting as upset with me as they were when I wouldn't buy them a drum set"

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Yeah ... drum kit ... fortunately it wasn't very robust and my son broke it pretty quick. Mouth organ probably would be worse as it would be difficult to break that.

Veggie Tales and Barney are rough, but it's never to early for the kid to learn how to use headphones.

---------- Post added December-8th-2011 at 12:08 PM ----------

They don't only sale Veggie Tale Videos at Christian Bookstores. Believe me I would know, I have like five of them :D

You have five Christian bookstores? :)

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Yeah ... drum kit ... fortunately it wasn't very robust and my son broke it pretty quick. Mouth organ probably would be worse as it would be difficult to break that.

Veggie Tales and Barney are rough, but it's never to early for the kid to learn how to use headphones.

---------- Post added December-8th-2011 at 12:08 PM ----------

You have five Christian bookstores? :)

I could think of about five that I been to.....

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The perfect gift for your least favorite relative should always include a talking toy.....preferably featuring Elmo.....an annoying, singing, repetitive toy that will send the parents at some point, flying into a blind rage.....culminating in the toy's untimely destruction by being crushed out of existence from being left for dead on the freeway.

:evilg:

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:ols: He said Christian propaganda....:rotflmao: You know they sell those in Christian bookstores right? It's not like they're sneaking it into your pron.

They show 3-2-1 Penguins on Qubo, which shows a lot of kids programming.

I wouldn't know what they sell in Christian bookstores. I've never stepped foot in one.

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The "Vuvuzela Horn" This was the horn of choice for soccer fans in the stadiums in South Africa. It kind of sounds like an elephant and is a great way to show your support for your on-field heroes. Only 7.99$

Thanks for the idea. :thumbsup:

I will be getting one for my friends little boy....his Dad is a Cowboy fan.

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