WT: And it might even have a cell phone

[bubba9497]

And it might even have a cell phone

http://www.washtimes.com/sports/20030914-123831-1744r.htm

By Dan Daly

Lincoln Financial Field, the Eagles' new stadium, is quite an improvement over the old place. It's got great sightlines, spacious concourses, luxurious luxury boxes and, from what I understand, the nicest holding cell in the league.

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I kid you not: When the Redskins came out in their all-white duds against the Jets, my first reaction was: What's Snyder done now, sold the team's uniform rights to Good Humor?

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Today's Redskins-Falcons clash isn't the first time Steve Spurrier and Dan Reeves have met on a football field. In 1964 they were opposing quarterbacks when the Ball Coach's Florida club played Reeves' South Carolina team.

"I won't tell you the score," Spurrier told the Atlanta Journal and Constitution, "because then it'd sound like I was bragging. South Carolina wasn't very good. I think they were our homecoming game."

Ouch.

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The score, in case you're interested, was 37-0. Spurrier was a sophomore, two years away from the Heisman Trophy, and Reeves was a senior, a year away from the Dallas Cowboys. The Gators finished 7-3 that season, while the Game****s were 3-5-2 (and 8-18-4 during Reeves' career).

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On the police front, four Ravens — Anthony Weaver, Will Demps, Chester Taylor and Terry Jones — have had their homes burglarized in recent months. How dumb are the robbers anyway? They picked four guys on the roster who didn't have Super Bowl rings from 2000 lying around the house. (They all joined the team last year.)

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The race to 500 field goals — an NFL first — is on. It looked like the Chiefs' Morten Andersen (currently at 488) would do the honors, but maybe not. The Titans just signed 44-year-old Gary Anderson (494) to fill in for injured Joe Nedney.

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Frankly, I'm surprised Tennessee had the cap room for Anderson. The minimum salary for a 22-year veteran, if I'm not mistaken, is $1.8 billion.

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Punter/kickoff man Craig Hentrich saved the day for the Titans in Week 1 by taking over for Nedney and kicking three field goals, one a 49-yarder. Just wondering: Has anybody in pro football history ever had three "pinch-hit" field goals in a game? (I tend to doubt it.)

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Congratulations to Maryland Terps linebacker Jamahl Cochran. He was named to college football's All-Typo team by Jeff Miller of the Miami Herald.

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Miller also points out that Virginia Tech has "two defenders named Ryan Hash and Omar Hashish."

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Speaking of Tech, my Hokies Source says he knows just how Maryland feels after its season-opening loss to Northern Illinois. "On the way up the ladder," he empathizes, "Tech had those types of losses — '95 to Cincinnati at home, '96 to Miami of Ohio on homecoming, '98 to Temple." In other words, it happens in the best of programs.

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In case you missed it: The Andy Roddick-Juan Carlos Ferrero final in the U.S. Open got a 3.5 Nielsen rating — the same as the Latin Grammy Awards.

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Steve Rushin's piece on anagrams in the current Sports Illustrated is, well, good enough to steal. Here, then, are some names of local interest — and their rearranged, anagrammatized (his word) versions — that Rushin didn't get around to (with the help of the Internet Anagram Server at www.wordsmith.org/anagram):

Daniel Snyder — Delay Dinners.

Steve Spurrier — Steers Upriver.

Vinny Cerrato — Contrary Vein.

Patrick Ramsey — Primacy Streak.

LaVar Arrington — Narrating Valor.

Champ Bailey — Amicably Hep.

Jessie Armstead — Dares Majesties.

Fred Smoot — Modest 'Fro.

Trung Canidate — Raced Taunting.

Chad Morton — Conrad Moth.

Ted Leonsis — Does Listen.

Sergei Gonchar — Grange Heroics.

Brian Sutherby — Barney Brutish.

Michael Jordan — Monarch Jailed.

Gilbert Arenas — Bra Generalist.

Susan O'Malley — Uneasy Slalom.

Gary Williams — Wag Similarly.

Ryan Randle — Darn Nearly.

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One anagram of Chris Samuels' name — apologies, Chris — is Hairless Scum. (Another is Melissa Crush — which is what he might do sometime if the Redskins ran a sweep too close to the sideline on "Monday Night Football.")

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Anagrams aren't the easiest things to come up with. I tried to create a few manually — with the letters from a Scrabble game — and wasn't very successful at all. I did, though, manage to turn Dave Fiore into Adore Five. (Too bad he wears No. 74.)

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First it was Jerry Hairston Jr., then Gary Matthews Jr. and now Tim Raines Jr. Don't you wish, just once, the Orioles would sign the original?

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Speaking of the O's, you have to feel for Melvin Mora. His .319 average would give him a shot at the batting title if he hadn't missed so many games. He needs 502 plate appearances to qualify and, barring another injury, he'll be lucky to get 450. Three other players in major league history who missed out on a batting crown because they didn't have enough ups:

1. Ted Williams, Red Sox, 1954 — Back then, you needed 400 official at-bats, not plate appearances, to be eligible. Alas, Williams, who hit .354, had only 386 (largely because he walked 136 times). The Indians' Bobby Avila won the title with a .341 mark.

2. Tito Francona, Indians, 1959 — Francona had a career year, batting .359, but wound up 34 plate appearances shy. So the Tigers' Harvey Kuenn, at .353, took the crown.

3. Wade Boggs, Red Sox, 1982 — Rookie Boggs hit .349, 17 points better than batting leader Willie Wilson of the Royals. His 381 trips to the plate, however, were well short of the magic number.

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Loyal reader Jim Black called with an addendum to the item awhile back about Connie Marrero, the Senators pitcher from the '50s who made the All-Star team for the first time at the age of 40 (a la Jamie Moyer). Connie, a Cuban, was always very mysterious about his birth date. In fact, says Black, "Whenever you asked him how old he was, he'd just smile and point to the number on his back — 22. He was 22 his entire career."

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Russ Ortiz's impending 20th victory raises the following question: Who had more 20-game winners, the Orioles under Earl Weaver (1968-82) or the Braves under Bobby Cox (1990-present)?

Answer: The O's, by a mile. Weaver had nine pitchers win 20 for him: Dave McNally, Mike Cuellar, Jim Palmer, Pat Dobson, Mike Torrez, Wayne Garland, Mike Flanagan, Steve Stone and Scott McGregor. Ortiz would be No. 5 for Cox, following Tom Glavine, Greg Maddux, John Smoltz and Denny Neagle. But Mike Hampton, I suspect, will make it an even half-dozen one of these years.

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The continuing futility of the Tigers raised my curiosity about another of baseball's all-time terrible teams — the 1904 Washington Senators. The Nats finished 38-113 that year, batted a American League-low .227 and had pitchers with records like 5-27 (Jack Townsend) and 5-23 (Beany Jacobson). Still, it was an interesting club from a personnel standpoint, as these thumbnails show:

•Al Orth, P — One of just seven pitchers to win 100 games in each major league.

• Long Tom Hughes, P — The year before, Hughes racked up 20 victories for the World Series champion Red Sox. As a rookie with the Cubs in 1901, he struck out 225, the third-best total ever in the National League for a first-year pitcher.

• Casey Patten, P — Miraculously posted a 15-21 mark for this wretched team. In nine of his losses, the Senators were shut out.

•Kip Selbach, OF — Stole 334 bases in the big leagues, with a high of 49 in 1896.

•Bill Coughlin, 3B — Three years later, with the Tigers, he pulled off the only successful hidden-ball trick in World Series history. His victim: the Cubs' Jimmy Slagle.

•Frank Huelsman, OF — Played for four teams in 1904, the White Sox, Tigers, Browns and Senators, a feat that wasn't duplicated until 1940 (and has never been topped).

•Bill O'Neill, OF — As a shortstop with Boston earlier that year (before being shipped to Washington), O'Neill committed six errors in a 13-inning game, a modern record for the position.

•Hunter Hill, 3B — Was sidelined with the mumps in the first month of the season.

•Joe Cassidy, SS — His 19 triples for the 1904 Nats are still the most by an AL rookie.

•Jake Stahl, 1B — Managed the 1912 Red Sox to the World Series championship.

c Boileryard Clarke, C — Coached baseball at Princeton after his playing days were over.

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And finally ...

They don't make bad teams like they used to, do they?

Fred Smoot — Modest 'Fro.

:laugh: