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Which Is Correct: "Get Up" or "Get Down"?


Dan T.

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Brothers and sisters of funk, should we "get on up" or "get down"?

National Funk Congress Deadlocked On Get Up/Get Down Issue

CHOCOLATE CITY—After months of ceaseless debate, including last week's record 76-hour filibuster slap-bass solo from Senate Rubber Band Minority Leader Bootsy Collins (D-OH), the National Funk Congress is no closer to resolving its deadlock over the controversial "get up/get down" issue, insiders reported Monday.

"Get up-uh, get on up! Get up-uh, get on up!" shouted Getuplican Party supporters on the steps of the Capitol as the debate, as well as a massive 14-piece instrumental jam, raged within. The pro-up-getting demonstrators' chants were nearly drowned out by those of a nearby group of jungle-boogie Downocrats, who called upon all citizens to "Get down, get down!"

The bitter "get up/get down" battle, which has polarized the nation's funk community, is part of a long-running battle between the two factions, rooted in more than 35 years of conflict over the direction in which the American people should shake it.

onion_news2486_jpg_600x1000_q85.jpg

Senate Rubber Band Minority Leader Bootsy Collins (D-OH).

"The time has come to face facts: To move forward, we've got to get on up, and stay on the scene, like a sex machine," said Brick House Majority Leader James Brown (G-GA), one of getting on up's most vocal supporters. "Say it loud: Only when we have gotten up offa that thing will we, as a nation, finally get back on the good foot."

Upon learning of Brown's remarks, Downocratic leaders openly questioned his commitment to getting up. Said Robert "Kool" Bell, a top-ranking Brick House Downocrat: "It is a well-known fact that Brown has, on many past occasions, urged his supporters to get down with they bad selves. In response to his inconsistent voting record and history of waffling on this crucial issue, we will not rest until every American, as is their birthright, has gotten down."

"You got to get down," Bell added. "Hyuh!"

More at DC Political Forum

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That article from The Onion is, like, ten years old, I think.

Anyway...still makes me laugh. Not as much as The Mothership showing up at a Hottie and the Blowfish concert though.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/mothership-accidentally-descends-on-hootie-concert,983/

ROSEMONT, IL—Confusion and awkwardness resulted Monday when the P-Funk Mothership, outer-space chariot of Dr. Funkenstein and the Star Child, accidentally descended upon a sold-out Hootie and the Blowfish concert at the Rosemont Horizon arena in suburban Chicago.

"Thumpasaurus Peoples! You have summoned us through the Groove, and we have returned to refunkatize the planet!" said Dr. Funkenstein, the fur-bedecked, disco-booted Mothership Supreme Commander, moments before the popular South Carolina-based band was about to launch into the song "I Only Wanna Be With You."

Members of Hootie and the Blowfish, whose 1995 release Cracked Rear View sold over 14 million copies, were caught off guard by the arrival of the Mothership.

"The man who came out of the spaceship attempted to shoot me with something he called a 'Bop Gun,'" lead singer Darius Rucker told reporters. "Somehow I sensed it would be detrimental to my career as a singer."

Added a visibly distressed Rucker: "He also seemed to imply that if I let my mind go free, something would happen to my bottom."

Bandmate Dean Felber was equally disturbed by the appearance of the cosmic visitors. "Their mode of dress was, frankly, garish," Felber told reporters, "not at all like the muted, earth-tone flannels and oversized cable-knit sweaters appropriate for concert wear."

Sources speculate that an inadvertent hip shake by Rucker, who briefly lost his balance stumbling over a stray mandolin, may have accidentally summoned the Mothership.

It is also speculated that Rucker's powerful baritone voice may have exceeded Hootie and the Blowfish's normal safety standards for "bass," inadvertently summoning the intergalactic funk saucer.

Said band member Mark Bryan,"We had just finished a really super rendition of 'Let Her Cry' that sounded exactly like on the CD, when out of nowhere these strange men came down shouting about getting up and doing the backstroke, or something."

According to police, no serious damage was caused by the incident, but it did result in a 45-minute concert delay, causing many in attendance to go to bed later than they had wanted to.

"I had a 9 a.m. meeting the next day with a very important client," said concertgoer/stockbroker James Norridge, 42, who did not go to sleep until well after midnight. "I really needed to be at the top of my game."

Norridge's disappointment was typical of the 17,456 whites in attendance.

"I did not wish to get 'funked up,'" said Roger Kleist, 33. "If I did, I would have attended a Dave Matthews Band concert

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The Onion had a great string of P-Funk articles in the late 90's. Whoever wrote them must have been a serious Parliament/Funkadelic fan with all the inside references. I liked this one the best (especially the graphic with Mr. Wiggles "to do that stuff"):

Clinton Threatens To Drop Da Bomb On Iraq

Side note: The Onion has been pumping out material like this for 14+ years with no drop-off in quality. That has to be some sort of internet record.

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That article from The Onion is' date=' like, ten years old, I think.

[/quote']

Weird, I read it in their paper edition just last week. Summer Music edition. All the articles and features were music related. I bet the staff goes on summer vacation, so they just recycle old stuff.

So did the National Funk Congress resolve the issue?

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The Onion had a great string of P-Funk articles in the late 90's. Whoever wrote them must have been a serious Parliament/Funkadelic fan with all the inside references. I liked this one the best (especially the graphic with Mr. Wiggles "to do that stuff"):

Clinton Threatens To Drop Da Bomb On Iraq

Side note: The Onion has been pumping out material like this for 14+ years with no drop-off in quality. That has to be some sort of internet record.

They had a whole President Clinton/President George Clinton thing going there for a while. It was never NOT funny.

Has there ever been a P-Fun comic book? There absolutely should be. I would love to read the further adventures of Star Child and Dr. Funkenstein.

Also:

http://www.georgeclinton.com/htmlversion/gc/funkateer_funkcyclopedia.htm

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