CNN.com: Permissive parents: Curb your brats

[Destino]

tell me you kicked the **** out of a 5 year old

If I did I'd probably still be in prison though. I explained to the child that he shouldn't be near my chair using creative language and a tone of voice the conveyed my sincerity.

[airborneskins]

Just watched Christopher titus' Neverlution last night on Comedy Central. The article made me think if the Late Term Abortion bit. If you havent seen it, I recommend watching it atleast once. I laughed my ass off.

[MassSkinsFan]

I like kids. I do. But I don't automatically like yours, and if it's a screaming brat I don't like it at all.

No I don't have kids, and I never wanted to. I have enough responsibilities without them and I'm mature enough to know I'm probably too immature to be a good parent.

This article really mirrors my feelings about precious parents and their precocious darlings.

Last Spring was my wife's 40th b-day. We had a nice party with a cookout. We invited people and specifically said on the invite, "Please, no kids." Anyone who was invited knows my wife well, and they all know she can't stand children between toddlerhood and teenagers. So that should have been no surprise. One or two people called to ask for a variance, and she did actually say OK to one couple because their daughter was about 5 months old.

Another couple we know strolled in with their 2 brats, ages 2 and 4. They had asked and been told no, but brought them anyway. We dealt with it and showed them where the kids should and shouldn't play, and moved on with enjoying the party. I started grilling and cooking, and had about 7 things going at once (stove and grill). Right when I was running around trying to get everything served without disaster, the brats' mother came into the kitchen and walked right up to me stating "Jasper needs a bag for some glass he found in your garden." I asked her if it could wait and she said no. I looked down at my hands, holding a hot pot and some tongs and said "It's got to wait." She started yelling at me about how her brat needed a paper bag for the glass RIGHT NOW. Of course I blew her off until I got everything served. But I mean really, can't you just take the glass yourself, thank little Jasper for cleaning up the garden, and be done with it? Why make a scene?

Ultimately, we have stopped hanging out with them, which is a real shame since the Mom and I have been friends for almost 20 years, and she and my wife became pretty close about 12 years ago when they drove across the US.

Really though, it's the parents, not the kids. Kids need some boundaries. They'll push to see where they are, which is why they will get really crazy if left unchecked.

[artmonkforHOF]

This is going to rapidly turn into one of those "The way I do things is perfect" thread.

Generally speaking' date=' I don't have a problem with kids running around like *******s. They are kids. Kids are *******s.

I have a problem when they do it at 9:30 in a seafood place.[/quote']

One thing I have learned in life is never tell anyone else how to raise their kids, even if it is done in a polite respectful and caring manner, parents do not want to hear that they are raising their kids wrong, or it's implied that they could do better.

[Destino]

Just watched Christopher titus' Neverlution last night on Comedy Central. The article made me think if the Late Term Abortion bit. If you havent seen it, I recommend watching it atleast once. I laughed my ass off.

The 20-something year late term abortion window? haha

[Rocky21]

MassSkins Fan - some people are so rude. We told you not to bring your kids. You can't read?

When my sister and I were kids before Mom pulled out of the driveway she gave us "the look" and said if either of you embarrass me today we will never leave the house again. It worked.

[Mursilis]

I used to have pretty strong opinions about this pre-parent, and even though I have a one year old now, I have to admit my opinions are still pretty strong.

I have four kids, and I still have strong opinions about misbehaving children. Mine rarely act up, because they learn soon enough that throwing a tantrum will not only NOT get them what they want, it will make things far, far worse for them. Actions have consequences, and bad actions have very bad consequences.

[AsburySkinsFan]

I do have kids...two of them and I love being a dad...and I don't hate kids....that being said....discipline your child!

Kids do not have to be monsters, and they don't have to run all over the place out of your control. You're the parent...make them behave like civilized human beings in public. If you want them to trash your house and run rampant over you at home, that's your business, but in public get control.

[SkinInsite]

Leash your dog and kids people!!!

[Tweedr01]

I used to have pretty strong opinions about this pre-parent, and even though I have a one year old now, I have to admit my opinions are still pretty strong. I'm not naive enough to think our kid is perfect, but when we go out to eat, she's generally alright as long as she has a pacifier, a sip cup, and some food to randomly nibble on. However, she's in the "discovering her voice" stage and is now prone to random high pitched shrieking and babbling, which is embarrassing as hell in public, even if other patrons and the waitress all smile at her. I'm convinced they secretly want to kill me, because I used to secretly want to kill everyone else who brought a kid into the restaurant.

Note, the shrieking and babbling is good-mood type of stuff. We've taken her outside once or twice when she's cried past a few seconds, or if she ges overly fidgety because she wants to walk.

I've never seen anyone take a dog into Lowe's before, I can't imagine how self absorbed that must be to think that no one cares.

i'm in the same boat and i agree with all of this. i'm terrible though when it comes to her random screeches, i think they are hilarious and sometimes find myself doing it with her....i know i'm a terrible parent. however, we don't bring her into high end restaurants at this age (besides her bday (hers and her moms are 1 day apart so i go broke...)) if she's getting too fidgety just take her outside, heck if we have a window seat i'll bring her to the window so she can look at mom eat while she's feeling adventurous.

and i've never seen a dog in a home depot or a lowes.

[AsburySkinsFan]

Kids aren't dogs. They will misbehave sometimes. And when they do, you can't just yank on the choke collar and give them a stern "no" and expect them to sit down and shut up immediately every time. The author's comments about "the look" border on preposterous. Then again, my daughter is 2, not 5, so maybe things will change, but I'm skeptical.

No kids aren't dogs, but let me tell you...a couple trips to the restroom with your child with a proper spanking will do wonders. As for the look, I know all about the look, and so do my kids, a snap will work too. Kids need to know there are consequences for their actions, and it's a lesson that they will learn and you don't need to abuse them for them to learn. It's called consistent discipline....and yes the look works, so does a reminder squeeze of the hand when you're walking together and they're pulling etc, there are all sorts of non-verbals that can and will get your point across quite effectively when accompanied by consistent discipline.

We do our best not to bother other people, particularly at restaurants. If my 2 year old is crying or yelling or uncontrollable, we get her out. I've had plenty of dinners, particularly when she was a baby, where my wife and I switched off, with one of us sitting and eating while the other took care of the kid outside. You can't do that in a plane. As long as the parents are making a reasonable effort, I don't care, but I have grown much more tolerant about such things since I had mine. Besides, nice restaurants are one thing, but many restaurants cater to families. If you can't tolerate kids, don't go to a Chili's at 6 pm on a Saturday.

I think that's entirely reasonable. My wife and I did the same thing, both in restaurants and on a plane. We were flying back from Boston and it was late at night, our planes had been delayed and our 2 year old daughter had simply had enough. It was a smaller plane, and she started crying, we tried everything, and what got her to stop was one of the ladies behind us gave her a little cup that had a built in straw (yeah who knew!) We kept apologizing, and everyone around us was very understanding, but man my own nerves by the end of that flight were shot.

[TD_washingtonredskins]

These threads also tend to turn into "all parents think their kids are precious, perfect angels" and that gets old too. I have a 4-year old boy and a 2-year old girl. They have pissed me off in public plenty of times. I think my wife and I do a good job of assessing the scene and making the right decisions. They also generally listen once we put our foot down, but there are times when they don't. Either way, unless it's something VERY intrusive to a stranger, I find that adults overreact to the "bad kids" in public almost as often as bad kids act up in public.

Not directed at anyone in here, but I was in a grocery store (alone) about a month ago and two kids (both girls...probably 5 and 4?) were excited to get a balloon at the end of their shopping trip. They were both so excited that they started dancing and giggling pretty loudly. It was pretty cute. This older lady rolled her eyes, nudged between them (unnecessarily), and yelled "EXCUSE ME" as she was exiting the store. Pretty odd and uncalled for. The girls weren't doing anything "bad" or imposing on her...she was just seemingly irritated that they were loud and excited in public. The point is...a grocery store is fair game for a kid just as much as it is for some pissed of adult.

[Destino]

These threads also tend to turn into "all parents think their kids are precious, perfect angels" and that gets old too. I have a 4-year old boy and a 2-year old girl. They have pissed me off in public plenty of times. I think my wife and I do a good job of assessing the scene and making the right decisions. They also generally listen once we put our foot down, but there are times when they don't. Either way, unless it's something VERY intrusive to a stranger, I find that adults overreact to the "bad kids" in public almost as often as bad kids act up in public.

Not directed at anyone in here, but I was in a grocery store (alone) about a month ago and two kids (both girls...probably 5 and 4?) were excited to get a balloon at the end of their shopping trip. They were both so excited that they started dancing and giggling pretty loudly. It was pretty cute. This older lady rolled her eyes, nudged between them (unnecessarily), and yelled "EXCUSE ME" as she was exiting the store. Pretty odd and uncalled for. The girls weren't doing anything "bad" or imposing on her...she was just seemingly irritated that they were loud and excited in public. The point is...a grocery store is fair game for a kid just as much as it is for some pissed of adult.

There could be a thread about rude old people. They are worse then children plenty of times. I remember being in the grocery store and getting hit with a shopping cart. I turned and saw an old lady and felt bad so I muttered a polite "excuse me" and moved a few feet over. She then rammed me with her cart again while staring at me. Sometimes old people, like honey badgers, just don't give a ****.

[AsburySkinsFan]

She then rammed me with her cart again while staring at me. Sometimes old people, like honey badgers, just don't give a ****.

She hit you twice!! LoL! I read an article about bullying in nursing homes (yeah go figure) their conclusions were 1) sometimes you're dealing with mental issues, 2) sometimes the jerk in high school is still a jerk, and just because he or she is old doesn't mean a darn thing. I can't believe she hit you twice though...

[SkinsHokieFan]

I am not a parent nor anywhere near it and I know I wasn't a perfect kid.

I shut down escalators at the mall by pushing the "red button" The look of the angry woman at Lord and Taylor in 1986 is still stuck in my head *shudder*

That def got my dad's "discipline" once we got home.

My parents didn't take my brother and I to a movie for 6 years because the one time we did go we thought it was a little play ground and ran all over the theater.

There have been times when my little, under 7 year old, cousins come over to my parents house and are just way too energetic. For boys I have found the easiest thing to do is just take them outside and make them run in circles as fast as they can for 10 minutes. No stopping. At the end of it they are so exhausted they shut up.

I generally do have a "boys will be boys" opinion. You gotta just run the energy out of them, or else any boy under the age of 11 is going to be a pain in the ass. From 12-18 they are going to have ear plugs on trying to look cool, so its all good.

I have no clue what a parent of girls does. There aren't many in my family

[TD_washingtonredskins]

There could be a thread about rude old people. They are worse then children plenty of times. I remember being in the grocery store and getting hit with a shopping cart. I turned and saw an old lady and felt bad so I muttered a polite "excuse me" and moved a few feet over. She then rammed me with her cart again while staring at me. Sometimes old people, like honey badgers, just don't give a ****.

[PCS]

I know that one. I've often said you'll be hard pressed to find an elderly lady more rude,than the ones who frequent military commissaries. The ones with the arrows on the floor showing which way you were to go with the cart. The old Camron Station in Alexandria was like that. I had one ram my basket head on because I was going the wrong way,(quick shortcut and I was in a hurry), and informed me I was going the wrong way. I politely told her I knew,lifted her basket out of the way,and continued to make my way down the aisle. I was 19 at the time and never let be said teenagers can't be a real pain in the ass out in public either.

I work in a community rec center these days. Lot's of kids come through here. Generally speaking,most are pretty well behaved. The few who aren't,can be identified pretty quick as repeat offenders. On some occassions,we've been known to have the parents of the kids get rude with us when we ask the kids not to run. "I know how raise my children so don't you dare talk to my child!". Sometimes with a colorful expletive or 2 thrown in. That's when you know where they got it from.

[TD_washingtonredskins]

My parents didn't take my brother and I to a movie for 6 years because the one time we did go we thought it was a little play ground and ran all over the theater.

I want to touch on this...I'm glad you mentioned it. When you're a bystander at the movies or in the store, you are seeing a snapshot of someone's life. You don't know the before or the after. So, just like you and your brother were probably "those kids" mentioned in this article that one time, you were indeed disciplined and you did learn a lesson. Some parents don't like to go overboard in public and some kids are still learning how to behave...meaning they aren't perfectly trained to listen that instant but might be in the process of being trained. Basically, I get the extraordinary situations...where a child is hitting his parent and the parent laughs it off. But generally, you really don't know what you're looking in on as a stranger.

I have no clue what a parent of girls does.

I have a 2-year old little girl...I'm just praying at this point.

[dockeryfan]

Let's face it. Not everyone is a good parent.

The dynamic is simple. You are the adult, they are the kid. The adult sets the rules. If a kid is doing whatever they want against the wishes of the parent, the roles are reversed, and it is because the parent allows it. Sometimes, it really is just as simple as it seems.

[Kilmer17]

All kids, mine especially, can go off the deep end at innapropriate times.

If you are eating at L'Auberge Chez Francois, it's the parents fault. If you are at Hooters, Im going to let my kids have a little more freedom.

The planes though. Man, I just dont know the answer to how to console a wailing 1 year old confined in a seat while his/her ears are throbbing because of the pressure.

[Major Harris]

wouldn't want to interrupt your admiral's feast at Red Lobster

That said, I agree with the part of the article that was posted. Quite frankly I feel the same way about dog owners. Here's a memo to dog owners: I DON'T GIVE A **** ABOUT YOUR DOG. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL BECAUSE YOU HAVE A DOG IN A PUBLIC PLACE. And if you let it just walk up to me as I'm minding my own business and start nosing around in my crotch, you are a ****ing douche.

my favorite is how every ****ing one of them says "don't worry, he won't bite. he's nice." even if he's growling his face off and pulling the owner on the leash. i have yet to meet someone who says "RUN, MY DOG WILL EAT YOUR FACE!"

as to the OP, there are some things that people with out kids just can't look at the same was as those with kids. this isn't one of those things.

---------- Post added July-7th-2011 at 09:46 AM ----------

I have no clue what a parent of girls does. There aren't many in my family

my line of work makes me thank God daily that i have 2 boys.

[WhoRUSupposed2Be]

Well, ass whooping still works that is until social services gets involved. But, what the child doesn't tell, won't hurt your cause

Seriously, tough love needs to shown in every household.

[SkinInsite]

Choke collars, that'll shut the little ****s (dogs and kids) up.

[ffxdrummer]

my favorite is how every ****ing one of them says "don't worry, he won't bite. he's nice." even if he's growling his face off and pulling the owner on the leash. i have yet to meet someone who says "RUN, MY DOG WILL EAT YOUR FACE!"

as to the OP, there are some things that people with out kids just can't look at the same was as those with kids. this isn't one of those things.

---------- Post added July-7th-2011 at 09:46 AM ----------

my line of work makes me thank God daily that i have 2 boys.

I'd like to think I'll take a similar mindset with a child that I do with my dog. Not everyone like dogs, and dogs are unpredictable. When I'm walking my dog and approach a stranger I tighten her leash and don't let her go near the person or another dog unless the person shows that they want to pet her or the dog's owner says it's ok for them to interact, and then I still keep a tight grip on the leash. My dog is only 35 pounds and loves everybody, so far, but it will only take that one time so I take all precautions I can with her.

I would treat my child in a similar manner, keep them on a tight "leash" in public, they can and should have fun and enjoy themselves but not at the expense of people around being irritated and inconvenienced just because I'm too lazy to pay attention to them. That's easy for me to say without any children, though.

[DRSmith]

Beat your kids seriously beat you kids warning language