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What's Your Thought On Parents Who Throw Parties For Older Kids?


DM72

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Does anyone have a problem with parents that throw late night parties for kids roughly between 17-20 years of age? I do. I'm not talking about birthday or graduation parties, but I'm talking about throwing a party just for the sake of throwing a party. I feel that we have way too many "cool parents" that just want to be liked. I know the world is different from when I was that age, but I think those types of parties just invite kids to act older than what they should and it make raising kids harder for parents that try to teach good values.

I want some honest opinions.

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I think its weird as hell. I remember going to a party once and I walked into the garage to get some milk and the parents were they just chilling drinking milk with their underage kids and friends. It was different.

Chocolate or Strawberry?

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What you have to ask yourself, is would you rather the kids be drinking somewhere with (hopefully) responsible adults who will not let them drive home, or completely unregulated?

If they're underage, they shouldn't be drinking in the first place.

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I remember a thread just like this one on another board about 5-6 years back, and man did it explode. The crux of it comes down to serving alcohol. When I was in high school and early college, the drinking age in MD had just changed, but the drinking age in DC was still 18, I went to a lot of parties with parents present that served alcohol. The attitude was much different.

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What is wrong with having a party just to socialize? If there is no alcohol, drugs and parents are present and supervise (circulate at odd times etc. or even interact with the young people) I see nothing wrong with this. Why do parties have to be tied to a special occasion? And what's wrong with being liked? My daughter felt free to bring home her friends (who she told about having a lesbian mom and I had a live in GF at the time of her JR and HS years). I'm still in touch with one of her friends. This friend asked me one time if I thought my daughter would still accept her if she told her she was a lesbian. Now that's an intergenerational friendship and there is nothing wrong with that. My daughters friends thought I was pretty cool, and I was pretty strict in monitoring things at home.

I believe that one teaches good values and morals by example and what better example than in one's own home with your teens friends?

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What is wrong with having a party just to socialize? If there is no alcohol, drugs and parents are present and supervise (circulate at odd times etc. or even interact with the young people) I see nothing wrong with this. Why do parties have to be tied to a special occasion? And what's wrong with being liked? My daughter felt free to bring home her friends (who she told about having a lesbian mom and I had a live in GF at the time of her JR and HS years). I'm still in touch with one of her friends. This friend asked me one time if I thought my daughter would still accept her if she told her she was a lesbian. Now that's an intergenerational friendship and there is nothing wrong with that. My daughters friends thought I was pretty cool, and I was pretty strict in monitoring things at home.

I believe that one teaches good values and morals by example and what better example than in one's own home with your teens friends?

The kind of parties I'm talking about ARE NOT just a social gathering. Trust me, this isn't a sitdown and lets talk affair.

---------- Post added May-26th-2011 at 02:16 PM ----------

good point. now lets get back to reality

You bring up reality. OK, I'll play. Lets say the party you described goes like you said. Responsible adults not letting kids drive home drunk. OK, what about the next party they go to? And the one after that? Not every party is gonna have a responsible adult there. You introduce kids to the partying lifestyle before they're ready, bad things can and will happen.

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I won't do it, and even though I understand the argument of having kids there partying under supervision, I don't necessarily agree with it.

For one, it's an invitation to trouble in more ways than one.

Parents will not appreciate your efforts and will have you arrested.

Parties for young people often result in fights, housewrecking.. young people and alcohol = problems.

The word gets out, you will be busted. And the word WILL get out, and not only will you be busted, but more kids than you ever expect are liable to show up, among them the troublemakers and housewreckers.

Secondly, if a kid DOES have a problem, gets sick, falls down some steps and cracks his head,, or actually does get out and drive (oh .. you think you can control all of them? :ols:.. I guess we don't remember being kids, do we? If I wanted to do something, neither your or my parents were going to stop me.)

well, then you're in for more trouble than you ever wanted.

~Bang

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If they're underage, they shouldn't be drinking in the first place.

Agreed.

To answer the question, I think it's very weird. I've been to 2 parties like this and they are more uncomfortable than somebody walking in on you while you're taking a dump.

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You bring up reality. OK, I'll play. Lets say the party you described goes like you said. Responsible adults not letting kids drive home drunk. OK, what about the next party they go to? And the one after that? Not every party is gonna have a responsible adult there. You introduce kids to the partying lifestyle before they're ready, bad things can and will happen.

again, reality; you are not introducing them to the partying lifestyle. Its gonna happen.

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The original post did not mention alcohol at these parties. It doesn't change my answer where there is adult supervision and no drugs or alcohol. I don't approve of serving alcohol to underage young people and I didn't serve it to my daughter and her friends. I didn't buy her cigarettes either when she was underage. I didn't give permission for her to get a tattoo when she was under 18. I didn't let her attend parties (that I knew of) if there was no parental supervision (I called to find out from the parents). I'm sure she went to parties I didn't know about.

But the OP wanted to know about parties in one's own home. It's your home, you have control over what happens in it. If a parent allows something illegal (underage drinking/drugging), then that parent is subject to the legal system.

I didn't have parties with alcohol etc. and I was still considered cool. We had music and dancing and grilling and all sorts of things that are fun to do.

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People act like the problem is that you're letting kids drink. No, the problem is that you are (in the eyes of the law) contributing to the delinquency of a minor. If that party gets raided, YOU go to jail not the kids. I'm not standing on some moral pulpit saying kids shouldn't drink - just that I wouldn't do it because I don't want to risk the chance of ME going to jail.

Pit parties are there for a reason.

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My parents used to let me throw parties all the time. No alcohol or drugs but plenty of carne asada. We'd start grilling at 9:30 and go late into the evening. We'd chill in the basement and my parents and other parents that were invited would hang out up stairs. Everyone had a good time and no one did anything that stupid.

I still remember dominating everyone at street fighter tournaments. :ols:

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