JMS Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I have a friend who is a civilian woman in a senior leadership position with the federal gov who works with a lot of military personal. She's not a political appointee or anything like that. Anyway she was out to lunch with a group of officers and one cornell started to rub her butt from behind. Nobody could see. When he went for under the skirt leg grope she turned and smacked him on the side of the head. Now the officer is threatening to report her for striking him and she is unsure what to do. I told her to report him cause he likely has a history. Any suggestions. She's worried about her career first and this second, I'm thinking that's the wrong play. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsburySkinsFan Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Colonel.....at that I'll let the women answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Is the question whether or not to report him? Umm, yah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forehead Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I think she should. He may have a history, she might be doing another woman down the line a favor. Sexual harassment is no joke and I would think most companies would want to avoid a public outcry about the incident if she threatens to raise hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Brave Little Toaster Oven Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 yeah, thats way over the line...its not like he was just being overly flirtatious, you cant put your hands on someone like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homercles82 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Yes, report him. Tell her to not be a silent victim, and to stand up for herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Ehhh....yeeeeaah, I'd report that crap immediately. If I didn't have my husband, I'd probably hire a hit man to beat the **** out of him too. But that's just me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosher Ham Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Is K the first woman to respond ? Clarify the title. And yes she should report it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 what is the workplace coming to nowadays? Can't even grope a woman's ass anymore. Women's lib have destroyed this country Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Anyway she was out to lunch with a group of officers and one cornell started to rub her butt from behind. Was it this one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S.T.real,lights,out Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 YES! Report his *** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#98QBKiller Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Was it this one? :ols: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 The fact that he threatened to report her makes it urgent that she get her complaint in first so that it's not written off as an excuse. She should file the complaint immediately with her superiors and contact HR to alert them of the situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 The fact that he threatened to report her makes it urgent that she get her complaint in first so that it's not written off as an excuse. She should file the complaint immediately with her superiors and contact HR to alert them of the situation. This. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadySkinsFan Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 The fact that he threatened to report her makes it urgent that she get her complaint in first so that it's not written off as an excuse. She should file the complaint immediately with her superiors and contact HR to alert them of the situation. I second that. ASAP. No one has a right to put their hands on you. In fact, a friend of mine is facing a similar issue in her workplace, just not with military men. And BTW, the military are to act like officers and gentlemen/women. Groping someone without their permission is neither and he should be courtmartialed or else his career severely curtailed. I hate to hear this stuff. Speaking of women's liberation, this situation is just one of the things we were fighting against. Women were often helpless against this type of behavior in the workplace. Some men just don't respect women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMS Posted April 27, 2011 Author Share Posted April 27, 2011 The fact that he threatened to report her makes it urgent that she get her complaint in first so that it's not written off as an excuse. She should file the complaint immediately with her superiors and contact HR to alert them of the situation. Her superiors are civilians. I don't think it would do any good to register it with them. I'm thinking the military has a number or she could look up the number for the guys superior and drop him a note. To me the fact this guy threatenned to report her so quickly and the fact that it had such a chilling effect on my friend kind of says he's using it to brush her back.. I don't think this guy is going to report jack. He's got a history, he must, it's such a slim ball thing to do. My friend can't possible be the first victem of this nut job. I'm also thinking this occured off base, her first call might be to the police dept, not some workplace complaint. This occured while they were waiting to be seated at a restaurant. ---------- Post added April-27th-2011 at 06:08 PM ---------- I second that. ASAP. No one has a right to put their hands on you. In fact, a friend of mine is facing a similar issue in her workplace, just not with military men. And BTW, the military are to act like officers and gentlemen/women. Groping someone without their permission is neither and he should be courtmartialed or else his career severely curtailed.I hate to hear this stuff. Speaking of women's liberation, this situation is just one of the things we were fighting against. Women were often helpless against this type of behavior in the workplace. Some men just don't respect women. My friend is a civilian but her job/GS designation carries the same rank as Colonel. They are effectively peers although some military people have to be reminded of that. My friend was actually scheduled to lecture to this group on her area of expertise but did not have the time in her schedule to do so. She was thus going out to lunch with them to address their questions when the incident occured. My friend used to throw the javilin division I college and she's got a right hook that most men would envy. Her first reaction was to close fist knock his lights out. But she open handed slaped him on the top of his head. I told her next time don't hold back, knock him out and prosecute him. I guess easy for me to say. I think she's leaning towards letting the incident be. Her belief is it's a career ending issue if she pursues it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Here's the deal: civilian or not, superiors civilian or not, she needs to report this immediately. This really is a no brainer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 +3 on Destino It does not matter if she is not military,both her workplace and the military need to be notified especially since he also threatened her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxima2000 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 With all due respect, I have three words... What the ****? How could this possibly hurt her career at all? What is this country coming to when reporting sexual harassment can hurt you? IMO, that guy should be severely disciplined for doing that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 To me the fact this guy threatenned to report her so quickly and the fact that it had such a chilling effect on my friend kind of says he's using it to brush her back.. I don't think this guy is going to report jack. He's got a history, he must, it's such a slim ball thing to do. My friend can't possible be the first victem of this nut job. Well **** that dude! That's what bad people do, they try to intimidate their victims in an effort to keep the upper hand. I'm also thinking this occured off base, her first call might be to the police dept, not some workplace complaint. This occured while they were waiting to be seated at a restaurant. It makes absolutely no difference where this occured. Furthermore, it was a business lunch. I think she's leaning towards letting the incident be. Her belief is it's a career ending issue if she pursues it. Well, that's her decision, but I think it's a terrible one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mardi gras skin Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I think she's leaning towards letting the incident be. Her belief is it's a career ending issue if she pursues it. For her or for him? Not a bad idea for her to help this guys career to wind down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissU28 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I'd report it. I also know that officers in the military get things swept under the rug a LOT easier than enlisted soldiers or civilians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadySkinsFan Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 I can see where she wants to let this go and thinks it will be a career ender for her. I'm a consultant and at one company I worked at, one guy was talking to me about his father (general conversation) and then he goes on about his father's "Mr. Happy." He never touched me but was totally inappropriate. I didn't report is because he said something racist in an open meeting with HR sitting right there and nothing happened. I finally got out of that job because I couldn't stand the environment. But if someone actually touched me, manhandled me, I'd report it immediately. Once someone is in your personal space without invitation, that's serious business. She should report it to her management, because after all her company/organization is doing business with this individual, who did not conduct himself in a business-like manner. In fact, it's a criminal offense called assault and battery and probably sexual assault. I hope she stands up for herself. And the fact that she is having these second thoughts means that women in the workplace haven't come very far after all. So for those of you with mothers, sisters, daughters, nieces, granddaughters or any female relative in the workplace, the education must continue or we won't be safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosher Ham Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 ^^^ Did you say something to him ? I always think that is a good starting point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 I hope she stands up for herself. And the fact that she is having these second thoughts means that women in the workplace haven't come very far after all. So for those of you with mothers, sisters, daughters, nieces, granddaughters or any female relative in the workplace, the education must continue or we won't be safe. With all respect, and I fully grant that your experience is different than mine, I think this is at least a bit of an exaggeration. The men posting in this thread, myself included, are appalled by this kind of behavior. It's CERTAINLY not the norm in workplaces across the country. We are MILES from where we've been as far as intimidation/manipulation/sexual advances in the work place, even in your lifetime. Does that mean it can't get better? Of course not. I believe that the moment you stop striving to make something better, you inherently allow it to regress. But I think to make a judgement about where we are as a nation, in terms of this kind of behavior, seems just a hair foolish to me. I think this case is unique, in that you have a civilian contractor taking on a military officer. That makes it difficult. I've worked on government security contracts, and I could have been thrown away for LOOKING at an employee the wrong way. Literally. So there's an assumed level of intimidation there, just based on the positions. And it IS quite dicey to go to HR in this situation. I still think she should, but I understand her hesitation. Still, like I said, to assert that this is commonplace, or an epidemic, seems a little bit ignorant to me. Our laws, company policies, and society have done a pretty good job of removing the ugliness of sexual intimidation from our workplaces. Again, we can always do better, but we've taken drastic strides. So saying "women in the workplace haven't come very far after all" doesn't resonate very well with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.