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It's complicated


spjunkies

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Oops, just saw your post. Sorry you feel bad, but you did the right thing by ending it when you did instead of dragging it out.

I once met a woman on line and we exchanged emails and phone calls. When we met, I was immediately turned off. To this day, I don't know why, she was good looking, there was nothing about her that was unpleasant but I had the gut feeling from the moment I met her. I told her later on the phone (we didn't really know each other that well) that I didn't want to date her (and she did rather far from me so it was a real effort to meet her in her city or for her to come to mine). So sometimes these things just don't work for whatever reason.

That is what dating is for, to get to know someone. Love is not instant. And in the lesbian community, the U-Haul joke is sometimes all too familiar. At my age, I don't think that I want to live with anyone ever again. I'm thinking sleepovers. It's a concept that works. But you are kinda young for that. I've had 3 live in relationships and so have had that experience, not to be repeated.

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Oops, just saw your post. Sorry you feel bad, but you did the right thing by ending it when you did instead of dragging it out.

I once met a woman on line and we exchanged emails and phone calls. When we met, I was immediately turned off. To this day, I don't know why, she was good looking, there was nothing about her that was unpleasant but I had the gut feeling from the moment I met her. I told her later on the phone (we didn't really know each other that well) that I didn't want to date her (and she did rather far from me so it was a real effort to meet her in her city or for her to come to mine). So sometimes these things just don't work for whatever reason.

That is what dating is for, to get to know someone. Love is not instant. And in the lesbian community, the U-Haul joke is sometimes all too familiar. At my age, I don't think that I want to live with anyone ever again. I'm thinking sleepovers. It's a concept that works. But you are kinda young for that. I've had 3 live in relationships and so have had that experience, not to be repeated.

My Aunt is a lesbian and let's just say that she does better than me. :)

I guess I'm not in the clear yet because she just texted me and said that she wants to meet up because "I owe her more of an explanation."

This is gonna blow!

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If what you told her was the truth, then you don't owe her any other explanation. Some people want to use "1 more meeting for an explanation" as a way to try to persuade you otherwise. If you feel that you said what you had to say, then decline her invitation. If you've ended it, then keep it ended. But don't be a jerk about it. Just say that you've said all you need to say and wish her well.

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If what you told her was the truth, then you don't owe her any other explanation. Some people want to use "1 more meeting for an explanation" as a way to try to persuade you otherwise. If you feel that you said what you had to say, then decline her invitation. If you've ended it, then keep it ended. But don't be a jerk about it. Just say that you've said all you need to say and wish her well.

It's weird because originally I asked her to meet me so we could do it face to face, but she pretty much knew what was coming so we exchanged e-mails saying how we felt about the situation. At the end of my last message I kept the invitation to meet open and if she declined that would be cool.

She called my bluff....

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Ah, the ol' called your bluff trick! ;) Well, meet her at a coffee place, very public. Tell her that you don't feel that going to the next level was a good idea, you have thought about it and you've changed your mind and didn't think it was right to keep stringing her along when you have no intention of becoming more serious. Then listen to what she has to say. Then repeat what you said earlier, wish her well and get up and leave.

Don't meet in private, at your place or her place. You need a neutral place. If she starts yelling or crying, tell her you are sorry she feels bad, and then get up and leave. No guilts.

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Ah, the ol' called your bluff trick! ;) Well, meet her at a coffee place, very public. Tell her that you don't feel that going to the next level was a good idea, you have thought about it and you've changed your mind and didn't think it was right to keep stringing her along when you have no intention of becoming more serious. Then listen to what she has to say. Then repeat what you said earlier, wish her well and get up and leave.

Don't meet in private, at your place or her place. You need a neutral place. If she starts yelling or crying, tell her you are sorry she feels bad, and then get up and leave. No guilts.

Thanks so much for the helpful words.We're going to meet up at a local bar for happy hour so that's a nice public place where there should be no drama.

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Don't drink too much. In fact, order a soda or iced tea. Alcohol is dangerous in that situation. Also, believe it or not, it's appearance is date-like. Get it over with and go to another place to meet up with friends to be social after this ordeal.

Hope I've been helpful. BTW, is your aunt single?! ;)

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Don't drink too much. In fact, order a soda or iced tea. Alcohol is dangerous in that situation. Also, believe it or not, it's appearance is date-like. Get it over with and go to another place to meet up with friends to be social after this ordeal.

Hope I've been helpful. BTW, is your aunt single?! ;)[/QUote]

You have been very helpful and I will avoid the alcohol.

LOL she was just telling me about someone that she is serious with so unfortunately not. Too bad too because she is a HUGE Skins fan and help mold me into being obsessed with our terrible team :)

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Well, best of luck to you! My parents got season tickets in 1963 and they were in the family until after the 1997 season when my mom died and my brother and I didn't want them. I watch on the TV machine! Big fan! In fact, my brother and I were going through some of my mom's stuff (yes, there is some still around) and came across a key ring with a brass and paint ticket attached.

Good luck and keep on dating! Remember, practice makes almost perfect!

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My main issue is that she has told me some REALLY strange things about herself. I was just going to go with it because after all of this time it was nice to have someone, but I'm also not attracted to her (I know it's shallow).

She does have good qualities but there is just too much on the negative side of the fence.

useless without pics...

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SP - I only hop on here every now and then. I do recall seeing a lot of your posts & threads relating to crappy situations with women. With all due respect - maybe you should stop dating for a while and focus on yourself and try to figure out why you keep putting yourself in these situations with shady women. I get that you're all lonely - hell, we've all been there ... but maybe you should try to find out why you're down instead of dating kooks. :)

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