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Best Quotes from Movies


SC_RedskinsFan

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I think Major League 2 quotes are under-rated.

Valet: Mr. Vaughn, I thought you were starting tonight.

Rick Vaughn: I did.

Valet: Oh, sorry. I didn't tune in until the 2nd inning.

Rick Vaughn: [Parkman visits Vaughn at the mound after Vaughn gives up three straight hits] What?

Jack Parkman: WHAT? They're hammering the slow crap. Think your arm can handle the strain of throwing this guy a fastball?

Rick Vaughn: Look, I'll throw it, you just make sure you catch it.

Jack Parkman: I will if it ever gets to me.

Harry Doyle: [drunk] So, Hiroshi "Kamikaze" Tanaka, recently of the Tokyo Giants, knocks himself cold for the second time this week. Maybe in Japan, that's actually better than catching the ball. Personally, I think he's just trying to get out of the lineup.

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Lots of great QT lines in True Romance. A couple choice faves:

Big Don: "Now Drexl, any n**** says he don't eat p**** is lying his ass off..."

Cocotti, while shooting Clarence's dad: "I haven't killed anybody...since 1984"

Drexl: Where the **** is that *****?

Clarence: She's with me.

Drexl: Who the **** are you?

Clarence: I'm her husband.

Drexl: <laughs> Oh yeah? Well, that makes us practically related.

you must have thought it was white boy day, it aint white boy day is it?

nah man, it aint white boy day

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"No. I'm a god, not the God... I don't think." - Groundhogs' Day

"I'm hungry. Let's get a taco." - Resevoir Dogs

"This job would be great if it weren't for the ****ing customers." - Clerks

---------- Post added April-24th-2011 at 10:33 AM ----------

"Shut that ****'s mouth or I'll come over there and **** start her head." - The Way of the Gun

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"It's a 1970 Pontiac Firebird. It's the car I've always wanted, and now I have it. I rule!"

"You don't get to tell me what to do ever again"

Lester Burnham is the best!!!

Then there is Khan, "Revenge is a dish best served cold".

And of course Red, "Get busy livin' or get busy dyin".

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Some of these have been mentioned already.

"What we've got here is failure to communicate."

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---------- Post added April-24th-2011 at 11:48 PM ----------

"Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

---------- Post added April-24th-2011 at 11:54 PM ----------

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"English mother****er, do you speak it?"

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"Khaaaaan! Khaaaaaan!"

“Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.”

“I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“We’re all very different people. We’re not Watusi. We’re not Spartans. We’re Americans, with a capital ‘A’, huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We’re the underdog.”

“Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.”

“Oooh, ahhh, that’s how it always starts. Then later there’s running and screaming.”

"Dave's not here"

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  • 1 year later...



King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.
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King Arthur: I am your king.

Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.

King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.

Woman: Well how'd you become king then?

[Angelic music plays... ]

King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.

Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

I mean, if went around saying I was Emperor because some moistened bint lobbed lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

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National Lampoon's Vacation -

Ellen: What do you say Sparky?

Clark: I think you're all ****ed in the head. We're 10 hours from the ****in' fun park and you want to bail out. Well I got news for you, this is no longer a vacation. It's a quest! We're on a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much ****in' fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our God damn smiles. You'll be whistling zippidy doo da right out of your ***holes. Ah ha ha! I must be crazy I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose...PRAISE MARTY MOOSE!! (laugh)....Holy ****.

Rusty: Dad, do you want an aspirin?

Clark: DON'T TOUCH!

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Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

Funniest part of the movie....love this scene.

"just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.":rotflmao:

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Smokey to Craig,

How'd you get fired on your day off?

Craig,

I was moving boxes,

Smokey,

Moving boxes? What you trying to do build a clubhouse?

Any and all lines from Friday, Office Space, Caddy Shack and a Space Balls. Oh yeah and Anchorman.

"60% of the time, it works everytime"

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The Jerk.....

Sniper: Die, you random son of a *****.

[shoots at Navin but hits a display of oil cans]

Navin R. Johnson: He hates these cans!

-----------------

Navin R. Johnson: The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!

Harry Hartounian: Boy, I wish I could get that excited about nothing.

Navin R. Johnson: Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73 - Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.

[the Sniper points to Navin's name in the phone book]

Sniper: Johnson, Navin R... sounds like a typical ****.

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Its not that I'm lazy, really, its that I just don't care. - Office Space

Its a fiendish thingy! A fiendish thingy! - Help! (or one of the other Beatles movies, but I think it was Help)

Life is pain! Anyone who says differently is selling something. - Princess Bride

Book of Armaments, chapter two, verses 3 to 21. And St Etelot rose the hand grenade up on high, saying: Oh Lord, bless this they hand grenade, that with it thou might blow thine enemy to tiny bits. And the Lord did Grin. And the people did feast upon the lamb, and sloths, and antelope, and orangoutangs, and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats... "skip a bit brother" ...And the Lord spake saying: First shalt thou pull out the holy pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thy not count, nor shall thy count two, excepting that thou then proceeds to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy holy hand grenade on antiok towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuffith. Amen.

Right. One. Two. Five! - Monty Python and the Holy Grail (of course)

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Not exactly a quote but this was one of my faves (and Im sure already mentioned in the thread)...

“So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas….So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking.

So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-galunga.

So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.”

Carl Spackler assistant groundskeeper at the Bushwood Country Club:

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