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Best Quotes from Movies


SC_RedskinsFan

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Every line in Airplane is genius. Every...single...one.

I was recently at the San Diego airport. No joke, they have the two announcers from Airplane. [male voice]"The white zone is for immediate unloading of passengers" [female voice] "the white zone..."

I was cracking up waiting for the rental car bus.

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"Badges, what badges? We don't need no stinkin badges!"

"Up yours Jobu"

"Hats for Bats"

"I'll be back"

"What did you do with Sully?" "I let him go."

"Ippey cayay mother *******."

"Hey, did somebody step on a duck?"

"It's too high" "No it's not." "It's too high." "Who gives a ****, it's gone."

"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?!" "Germans?" " **** it, he's on a roll."

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"I'll be your Huckleberry"

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next. "

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Unforgiven

Gene Hackman (Little Bill) - "You, sir are a cowardly son of a ****. You just shot an unarmed man."

Clint Eastwood (Will Munny)- "He should have armed himself if he's going to decorate his saloon with my friend."

Animal House

John Belushi (Bluto): "My advice to you is to start drinking heavily."

Tim Matheson (Otter): "Better listen to him, Flounder. He's pre-med."

City Slickers

Billy Crystal (Mitch): "Women need a reason for having sex, men just need a place."

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Knockaround Guys

Taylor Reese: "Five hundred."

Brucker: "Five hundred what, douche bag?"

Taylor Reese: "Five hundred fights. That's the number l figured when I was a kid. Five hundred street fights...and you can consider yourseIf a Iegitimate tough guy. You need 'em for experience, to deveIop Ieather skin. So I got started. Of course, aIong the way...you stop thinkin' about being tough and all that. It stops bein' the point. Get past the silliness of it all, but then...after....you realize that's what you are."

Brucker: "Look, I got no probIem with you, alright?"

Taylor Reese: "I'll tell you, you Iearn a Iotta things...on the way to five hundred, none more important than this..."

(headbutts and proceeds to beat the ever living crap outta Brucker)

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"Can you dig iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit?!!!" The Warriors

"Have You Ever Heard of Plato? Aristotle? Socrates? Morons!"

"Only two kinds of people are gonna stay on this beach: those that are already dead and those that are gonna die." The Longest Day

We'll start the war from here." The Longest Day

Now I want you to remember that no **** ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb **** die for his country." Patton

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5 pages and nothing yet from one of the most quotable movies in recent memory:

My God. I haven't been ****ed like that since grade school.

Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?

Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction...

When deep space exploration ramps up, it'll be the corporations that name everything. The IBM Stellar Sphere. The Microsoft Galaxy. Planet Starbucks.

The things you own end up owning you.

You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?

So you can breathe?

Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.

That's, um... That's an interesting theory.

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"What would Brian Boitano do?"-South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

"Our arrows will blot out the sun!" "Then we will fight in the shade!"-300 (Though that might be cheating, because it's also historical according to Herodutus)

"There are 3 kinds of people in this world: *****, *******, and ********"-Team America, World Police

"So we finish 18 and he's gonna stiff me. And I say 'Hey, Lama, how about little something, you know, for the effort, you know?' And he says 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.' So I got that going for me, which is nice."-Caddyshack

"No, I am your father!"-The Empire Strikes Back

"You know, I have one simple request: and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done."-Austin Powers

"It's good to be the king"-History of the World Part 1

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If this has seriously gone 5 pages without a quote from The Big Lebowski, it's a sin. If I missed an earlier one, I apologize.

The most quotable movie of all time:

Walter Sobchak: When we make the handoff, I double back, grab one of 'em and beat it out of him! Huh?

The Dude: That's a great plan, Walter. That's ****in' ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It's a Swiss ****in' watch.

[Maude shows the porn video starring Bunny to the Dude]

Sherry in 'Logjammin': [on video] You must be here to fix the cable.

Maude Lebowski: Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.

The Dude: He fixes the cable?

Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.

Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.

The Dude: Yeah, but Walter...

Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These ****ing amateurs...

Blond Treehorn Thug: [holding up a bowling ball] What the **** is this?

The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.

Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! **** me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

(I really, really hope there's a filter on this site. If not, mods, I apologize and will rectify immediately).

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Pretty much everything from Anchorman.

"The arsonist had oddly-shaped feet."

"The Human Torch was denied a bank loan."

"I'm on?... I'm on right now?... I don't believe you."

"What's that? You... you pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the entire wheel of cheese? I'm not even mad. That's amazing."

"Oh Baxter, you're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in fur."

"You're a real hooker. I'm gonna slap you in public."

"It's so hot... milk was a bad choice."

"I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party."

"The what?"

"The... party. With the... with the pants. Party with pants?"

"Where'd you get those clothes, the... toilet store?"

"I love lamp."

"Sweet Eli Whitney's nose!"

"By the beard of Zeus!"

"Great Oden's raven!"

"Uncle Jethro's corncob pipe!"

"Sweet Lincoln's mullet!"

"Knights of Columbus, that hurt!"

"I believe diversity was an old, old wooden ship used in the Civil War."

"I know what you're asking yourself, and the answer is yes. I have a nickname for my penis. Its called the Octagon. I also nicknamed my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang."

"Brick, before I let you go, are you still having your celebrity golf tournament?"

"Um, no, no. Too many people died last year, so we're not gonna."

"Ah, San Diego. Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina."

"No, I... I don't think that's what it means."

"I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago."

"Hello? Who is this? Baxter... is that you? Baxter! Bark twice if your in Milwaukee... Is this Wilt Chamberlain?"

"You're just a woman with a small brain. A brain one third the size of ours. It's science."

"It's called Sex Panther, by Odeon. It's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good."

"It's a formidable scent. It stings the nostrils."

"Yep."

"Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you. That smells like pure gasoline."

"My God, what is that smell?

"That's the smell of desire, m'lady."

"No, it smells like a used diaper full of Indian food."

dorothy-mantooth-is-a-saint-t-shirt-vintage-t-shirt-review-noise-bot-noise-bot.gif

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