Charlie Sheen's Detroit disaster: Boos, walk-outs for 'Torpedo of Truth'

[polywog999]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2699014/posts

First the U.S. automaker recession, and now this. Charlie Sheen unleashed his Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour on the Motor City on Saturday night before a crowd that greeted the actor with an adoring standing ovation and concluded with booing and walk-outs. The padded and disjointed show was a hodgepodge of video clips and Sheen-isms that felt hastily assembled and misjudged the patience of even the hardest of hardcore fans. Below is our on-the-scene progressive timeline of disaster from Detroit:

7:50 p.m. ET — Lovefest: Outside Fox Theater, Melissa Shovlin and Haley Clark — two young women wearing homemade “Winning!” T-shirts (see picture below) — are asked what they expected from the show. “We have no idea,” says Shovlin, “that’s part of the excitement.” Is she concerned about Sheen’s mental state, given his recent tendency towards multimedia outbursts? “Everybody is a little crazy,” she shrugs off. She also notes, “I think in this environment, he’ll be a little more free to jump around like a snake in a chair.”

Geoff Resek, an attendee from Connecticut, declares that Sheen will use his theatrical performance “to prove he’s completely sober, because he wants to win.” In general, the atmosphere outside is irony-free: People are here because they find Sheen hilarious, because they have always found Sheen hilarious, and because they are officially in support of his “winning” transformation. They are more devoted to Sheen than the media, but they simultaneously are taking him less seriously.

Inside the theater, the program for the evening (which cost $20) features a collection of Sheen’s radio quips — “I’m on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.” — and pictures of the actor. The T-shirts are selling briskly. A popular one for $30 declares “-—ing Brilliant!”

7:59 — You cannot walk through the crowd without hearing someone say “Winning.” There are girls wearing tiger-striped pants, and assorted custom Sheen quips T-shirts. The Midwestern crowd has come from all over, devout followers of the Vatican’s most famous assassin.

8:13 — The show is supposed to start at 8 p.m. A geeky comedian who is decisively not Charlie Sheen comes onstage and begins a set. There is some booing from the audience, followed by chanting: “Charlie! Charlie!” The booing gets louder.

8:17 — The comedian starts a joke: “I found out exactly how I’m going to die–” Someone in the audience yells, “Yeah, onstage!” Note to comedians: If Charlie Sheen asks you to open for him, say “No.”

8:19 — Here is just a sample of this painful opening act: “Shouldn’t they call the defibrillator a difibra-now?” Sheen himself comes out to defend the comic, telling the audience to give him a chance. The actor receives a standing ovation. Sheen says that he’ll be right back out, and exits. The comedian continues his set. Problem: This is a rock concert atmosphere, and nobody wants a stand-up act. They’re here for the warlock.

8:30 – The comedian has been literally booed off the stage.

8:32 — That’s weird. The lights have come back up, and the audience is waiting again. Everyone is confused — it’s not clear why the show started and then stopped again. So far, this has the makings of a disaster, the Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark of celebrity stage acts.

8:53 — The show officially begins with a mock iPhone ad, advertising the “MaSheen.” This app will be used throughout the show to introduce each segment. Two attractive scantily clad women — contest winners Kelly Jean and Lisa Jaques — come onstage to sing the national anthem before a waving flag. They’re not exactly great singers. “Do it topless!” one audience member shouts.

8:58 — Film clips are playing onscreen. Die Hard, Midnight Express, Taxi Driver, Animal House, Sheen’s own Platoon, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and (of course) Apocalypse Now. There’s no context, just the violent clips. One imagines it’s like being inside Sheen’s fever dream and the experience is taking on a Clockwork Orange quality.

9:00 — Two goddesses are now making out onstage. And finally, Charlie Sheen returns. He holds up a sports shirt of the style that’s worn by his Two and a Half Men character and puts it on. The audience gamely boos. The Two and a Half Men theme song plays and is intercut with a scene from a classic film of a man screaming “Turn it off!” Then, Sheen grabs a Detroit Tigers shirt instead. The crowd roars and gives him a standing ovation. Regarding the Men shirt, Sheen says, “Take that out and burn it.” On video, the girls burn the shirt backstage.

9:07 — Sheen steps behind a presidential-style podium that proclaims “Warlock States of Sheen.” Guitarist Robert Pattinson is playing onstage. Sheen begins a lengthy speech in his newfound Malibu Messiah semi-coherent metaphor-stuffed neo-Hunter S. Thompson style, talking about his “napalm dripping brain.” “I’m here to solve a portion of this grand mystery,” he says. 9:08 — Sheen: “I am finally here to identify and train the Vatican assassin locked inside each and every one of you.”

9:10 — Sheen’s promises are largely incomprehensible, though at least seem intentionally so: “Freedom from monkey eyed…sweat-eating whores. Freedom from the dour and sour taste of malignant reproach… I’m a giant and leaky bag of mayhem.”

9:13 – Sheen: “They took my awesome children… They took my sometimes ****in’ job… And when they thought there was nothing left, they tried to take my heart and brain and titanium spine. But they could not.” Audience growing restless. This show is all pump-up, no narrative.

9:15 — OK, nobody understands a word Sheen is saying. “”Is anybody else as confused by this s— as I am?” he finally asks. There are roars from the crowd. “I wrote every word!” Later, a cab driver tells me that it’s about this time that angry fans began walking out of the theatre. 9:18 – “Nothing terrifies a troll more than its own reflection,” Sheen continues, before shifting gears into politics. “In a recent poll, they told me I’d bring down that whore [sarah] Palin. I don’t have time for that nonsense.” [Read about the poll he's referring to here.]

9:20 — People start booing Sheen. Not playing around, but actually booing him. Sheen yells, “I already got your money, dude!”

9:23 — We are watching video of Charlie Sheen playing Call of Duty.

9:35 — The show has become a padded and disjointed mess. Sheen plays an old short film he made called RPG starring a young Johnny Depp but the audience gets frustrated and starts booing. Sheen stops the video and says, “Okay, so RPG was a bomb. Tonight is an experiment.” One is reminded of Torpedo of Truth’s subtitle on the marquee outside: “Defeat is not an option.”

9:40 — Sheen says he’s going to “Tell some stories about crack. I figured Detroit was a good place to tell some crack stories.” This comment, not surprisingly, does not go over well. “Show of hands who here has tried crack?” Very few people raise their hand. “I don’t do crack anymore, but this is a good f—ing night to do some crack.” The audience boos.

9:43 — Sheen tells the audience, “You paid your hard-earned money without knowing what this show was about.” He asks if people have any questions. A girl from the audience asks for his best pornstar story. Sheen doesn’t want to tell that one. He’s starts telling a story about getting his car stolen — he says the story involves crack — but nobody wants to hear it. Another woman asks for a hug. He gives it to her and that’s nice — pretty much the whole audience could use one at this point.

9:50 — The show appears to be almost over. More padding, rap tributes to Sheen from YouTube. He plays a video that intercuts his 20/20 interview with new footage of him being obnoxious to Andrea Canning. It’s amusing at first, but drags on too long.

10:03 — The show is now an unmitigated disaster. There’s a fairly steady stream of people leaving early. Attendee Chris Acchione, a self-described Sheen fan who traveled all the way from Toronto for the show, says his entire mezzanine row walked out. “He’s making a fool of himself,” he says. “Is there a bigger loser in the world? He’ll be [begging] Chuck Lorre for his job back by the end of the week.”

10:05 — Sheen is composing a live tweet. More disappointed comments from people leaving early: “I was expecting a comedy show.” “I could have done a better job.” “It’s just like hanging out at his house,” says a man wearing an “I Believe in Tiger Blood” T-shirt.

10:20 — Sheen plays the track he recorded with Snopp Dogg. But Snoop, despite promises, is a no-show (he was actually back in Los Angeles, performing live on stage at Nickelodeon’s Kids Choice Awards). Rapper Simon Rex comes out instead while Snoop’s video plays in the background. Lights come on. That’s it? Fans angry. When Oliver Stone or whoever makes the inevitable biopic on Charlie Sheen’s life, tonight’s event is definitely making the final cut.

PRE-SHOW THOUGHTS: There’s a scene in a Simpsons episode where Homer breaks an ant farm on the space shuttle. As the ants float from the confines of their plastic display, they cry “Freedom! Horrible, horrible freedom!”

That may not be the sharpest literary metaphor in the shed, but that phrase keeps coming to mind when covering Charlie Sheen. He’s finally escaped the trappings of his hit primetime sitcom and can now say and do whatever he wants. It’s been a bit like watching an overgrown kid while his parents are out of town. But as anybody who has been laid off can attest, there’s always an undercurrent of dread from being abruptly untethered from your longtime workplace home — no matter how sunny your future prospects. And you combine that “horrible, horrible freedom” with fame and money and addiction issues, and now you have the formula of countless American celebrity excess biopics.

So far we’ve seen Sheen indulge his newfound freedom to pontificate using all the latest communication toys — Twitter! Web cams! But tonight the actor embraces one of the oldest forms of communication: The hastily produced reputation-boosting stage show.

Sheen’s 20-date My Violent Torpedo of Truth: Defeat Is Not An Option Tour seems to borrow a page from the Conan O’Brien post-employment playbook — keep working, connect with fans, generate headlines (and, if possible, earn some sympathy in your PR struggle against Evil Former Bosses). Nobody is sure what to expect, exactly, but word has it that the show will be “music heavy” with guitarist Rob Patterson and Snoop Dogg making an appearance....

Click link for more....

Seriously....who cares? People diserve to be ripped off for going to see this piece of ****. What was everyone expecting?

[ACW]

:rotflmao:

[HailGreen28]

Polywog, I thought that you of all people, would appreciate such genius and "winning".

I figured Charlie was trolling us all with his routine. Hope he's still just trolling.

[polywog999]

Polywog, I thought that you of all people, would appreciate such genius and "winning".

I figured Charlie was trolling us all with his routine. Hope he's still just trolling.

I am very easily fooled by almost anything. This stupid idea was DOA. Even I could see that.

---------- Post added April-3rd-2011 at 04:22 PM ----------

Seriously can someone photoshop Charley's head exploding? This is the only thing that I want to see.

[Special K]

SHOCKING!!!

This guy is going down in flames. It's amazing, and sad, to me that so many people would buy tickets and support this train wreck.

[HailGreen28]

I am very easily fooled by almost anything. This stupid idea was DOA. Even I could see that.

---------- Post added April-3rd-2011 at 04:22 PM ----------

Seriously can someone photoshop Charley's head exploding? This is the only thing that I want to see.

Shoot, you saw it clearly, and great OP. I'm shocked at the idea that Charlie believes what he's saying.

[macnoke03]

SHOCKING!!!

This guy is going down in flames. It's amazing, and sad, to me that so many people would buy tickets and support this train wreck.

My thoughts exactly. Anybody that thinks this guy is cool is a damn fool. The people that bought tickets to that "show" are morons.

[mjah]

That writeup was hilarious. I think Sheen is the biggest ass in the world, but had I been in the area and known in advance what the show would be like, I would have gone to see this. Just for the story value.

These days, we have nothing closer than this to the old staged-train-collision spectacles of 100+ years ago.

[fullnelson9999]

Video. NSFW.

[Corcaigh]

You'd think he'd understand the importance of having some writers for a show. It's not like he does improv.

[thebluefood]

Sheen has gone from his 15 seconds as a genius to going back to being a reprehensible, self-important ass hat.

[Toe Jam]

Sheen has the last laugh though.

9:20 — People start booing Sheen. Not playing around, but actually booing him. Sheen yells, “I already got your money, dude!”

[Destino]

He should have The Situation open for him.

[Bibby]

I would probably put him on the suicide watch list here in a couple of months if not sooner.

[ACW]

He should have The Situation open for him.

:twitch: :shot:

[Toe Jam]

I just read his Chicago show went a lot better.

[polywog999]

http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/story/charlie-sheen-tour-recovers-in-chicago_1210957

Charlie Sheen's tour of the U.S. and Canada recovered in Chicago last night (3rd March 2011) after a faltering open night in Detroit, reports Cnn.

The 45-year-old came in for heavy criticism after Saturday's show, where he attempted to screen a number of random video clips before being booed by the audience. However, the troubled actor has been praised for his recovery in Chicago, with Cnn writer RACHEL WELLS noting, "Was Saturday night some crazy bad dream? Because the Charlie Sheen show I saw at the Chicago Theatre on Sunday night bore absolutely no resemblance to whatever it was the Detroit crowd and I think we witnessed on Saturday". Sheen had made a number of changes to the format since the nightmare opening and the actor was described as "relaxed and smoking" as he told a series of hilarious anecdotes. He entertained the sold-out crowd with a story of how he turned down the role of the original 'Karate Kid' movie to instead work on 'Predator 2' and joked about his father Martin Sheen's bad career advice.

The 'Violent Torpedo of Truth' tour moves on to Cleveland on Tuesday (5th April 2011) before passing through Columbus, New York and Wallingford. Fans attending the shows have been eager to get their hands on the exclusive Charlie Sheen tour merchandise, which include hats that bare the slogan, "I'm not bipolar".

[AsburySkinsFan]

Video. NSFW.

Wow what an unmitigated disaster, and those are his fans......holy smokes that's awful.

[Bang]

I agree with the general sentiment that those people booing ought to be directing their ire inward towards the idiot in their own homes that sent this jackoff money and attended this "show".

I like that guy in the video with the blonde hair flipping the bird and yelling F YOU! to the stage.

Hey dumbass,, YOU paid to be there. and you got exactly what you paid for.

Clue: Charlie Sheen sucks. he's not funny, his show is ONE joke (and not done all that well) The number of movies he's been in that I can sit thru for more than ten minutes number on one hand.

If not for his dad, Charlie "Sheen" would be a Wal Mart employee. Because that's about as far as his "talent" could actually take him.

~Bang

[Burgold]

I guess the good thing about the video of these shows is now we have the faces recorded of all those idiots who love to rubberneck and slow traffic down to a crawl.

[Bang]

I guess the good thing about the video of these shows is now we have the faces recorded of all those idiots who love to rubberneck and slow traffic down to a crawl.

true true true.

PT Barnum would love them all.

~Bang

[matty dread]

Amazing that anyone would pay to see his tired act. He was entertaining for about 5 minutes, now it's just pathetic.

[JimboDaMan]

Amazingly enough, his Chicago appearance ended with a standing ovation.

[Chachie]

I have been offered a ticket to his VA show. I really don't want to go regardless of how good/bad the show will be by then. I just don't want to support this desperate money rake of a tour.

[BlueinBuf]

I have been offered a ticket to his VA show. I really don't want to go regardless of how good/bad the show will be by then. I just don't want to support this desperate money rake of a tour.

If you've been offered a ticket doesn't that mean someone has alreayd paid for it?