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Polywog999 slipping into the dark abyss.


polywog999

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December is a rough month for me. I am not doing well. I have become so paranoid lately that I am afraid that my therapist is wired! Not kidding this time, unfortunately.

Spending all day watching cars and being afraid. Afraid of police, drug dealers, UPS, AmVets, etc.. I know I kid a lot and exaggerate my condition, but anything to make the tadpoles happy.

I have been homeless a few times because of my condition and have even been "away" too.

I have been down this road before, the road knows me and it's OK.

I am quite depressed these days and my threads are terrible! I will not be on here for a while to try and take better care of myself. I would like someone to do the Jinx thread as I really enjoy it.

I'm even having trouble remembering why I am here typing and not even looking to see what I wrote. (?) This is a sad thread. I did not want it to be, but it is a part of my brain that is better kept in the "off" position.

I tried to read this back and it doesn't even make any sense. Or maybe it does and I just can't tell?

I think I'm just here to say that I will be back <- and don't worry about me.

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:

I hope you all have a great holiday and I hope to be back on soon.

Till then a song....

9jg4ekLG9Zo

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My best wishes for you, Pollywog. You have become a poster I look for and enjoy reading. I'm glad that you can at least recognize what's going because that's an important step. I've been in a blue period recently too though not as intense as the one you describe. I find the best way out is to do something even though when I'm depressed I find every reason not to do anything. So, whatever it is you like to do... try.

I would love to see a jinx thread. More, I want you feeling better about you.

best,

Andrew

Edit: And I also agree with Predicto. Get the help you need.

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It's a lot worse than depression. I am still going to the Dr. and back on my meds. I'm going to be Ok.

I know its worse, but that does not mean that it is insurmountable. I'm glad to hear that you are doing what you should be doing - it WILL help over time.

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My best wishes for you, Pollywog. You have become a poster I look for and enjoy reading. I'm glad that you can at least recognize what's going because that's an important step. I've been in a blue period recently too though not as intense as the one you describe. I find the best way out is to do something even though when I'm depressed I find every reason not to do anything. So, whatever it is you like to do... try.

I would love to see a jinx thread. More, I want you feeling better about you.

best,

Andrew

Edit: And I also agree with Predicto. Get the help you need.

Please do the jinx thread for me.

here is some cash.....

money_24077_lg.gif

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Wog, my brother, don't push your friends away for fear of hurting us, or "bringing us down." I've been there. I've felt that way. Stay and accept the love and friendship we give freely. If we didn't want to do it, we wouldn't. Don't make that choice for us, buddy.

Also, any link from a depressed person that includes the word "suicide" scares the **** out of me. Get help. NOW. And if that means I need to come to wherever you are, just say the word.

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Wog, my brother, don't push your friends away for fear of hurting us, or "bringing us down." I've been there. I've felt that way. Stay and accept the love and friendship we give freely. If we didn't want to do it, we wouldn't. Don't make that choice for us, buddy.

Also, any link from a depressed person that includes the word "suicide" scares the **** out of me. Get help. NOW. And if that means I need to come to wherever you are, just say the word.

Thanks HH. don't want to lose my account. All my threads lately have tanked and I am afraid of getting the ban hammer if I get too uh....you know.... carnied away. I like this site and I want to come back here in a few weeks.

No suicide for me.

Thanks guys. I don't want to be a downer. I'll still be on in read only

I have a new therapist and psychiatrist.. I like them both a lot.

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I'm not sure what kind of depression you have, but just try to keep your worries to a minimum. Do your therapy and all, but do something fun that you enjoy. I see you in the fishing thread. Maybe you could go out for an afternoon and clear your thoughts even if you don't get a bite. It always makes me happy to be outside, and if I catch something, it makes me happy for a solid 2 weeks. Hope everything goes well for you. I'll definitely pray for you tonight.

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Keep your head up. And if it helps any, being Bi Polar, I pretty much know how you feel w/ out the back pain. I know how hard it is to snap out of a really bad low. Sometimes it takes weeks, or even months. I'm pulling for you, and if you ever need someone to talk to, PM me. Take care!

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Polywog - I'm really sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time. It sounds like you are doing the right thing by continuing treatment with your psychiatrist. I really hope you click with this new one and s/he is able to help you :)

Hang in there and know that you have a lot of supporters who care about you on this site; even though we've never met, I'm one of them. :)

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Poly, I've enjoyed your threads on here. Please take the best possible care of yourself, to make sure that, with time, I'll see some new ones, OK? :)

BTW, has anybody else noticed that the word wrap on this board is repeating words as it moves to the next line?

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