WP: Four in 10 say marriage is becoming obsolete

[Elessar78]

I think the poll breakdown is interesting too. The younger you are, the less education you have, and the less money you make the MORE you are likely to believe that marriage is becoming obsolete. There's also the racial component. Surprising nothing about Asians.

[shuler74]

Im recently seperated and heading to a divorce after knowing my wife for 14 years......after going through this seperation I had alot of time to think and...Marriage is an OLD tradition. There is to much headaches you have to go through in finalizing the divorce . Im not bitter but I will never get married again... could I meet someone I want to spend the rest of my life with..sure but will never be married again.

[Chachie]

According to the book, the career woman has it much harder than the stay-at-home mom b/c of the "nurturing" nature of the female. No matter how tired the female is when she gets home from her 8-10 hr day (factor in commuting), she will walk in the door of her home and BHAM! ...immediately, she'll go in to nurture mode and start cleaning, cooking, loving the kids, etc. The American female absolutely cannot help this natural thing that women do. It is who a woman is. It is what woman have done for centuries. So basically, a career woman really has 2 jobs.

A career man has it easier. He is meeting all of his primal instincts of providing for the family. Work is just that. Men then desire praise upon getting home b/c they have a need to be seen as a needed asset. A knight. A hunter. He is out in nature, slaying the dollar and bringing home the bread. He is the one whom all rely on, at least in his own mind instinctually. When the man doesn't get praise at home for meeting all these expectations, he feels neglected. Sadly, in 21st century marriages, especially those where the woman also has a career, the man usually comes in last. The woman is so preoccupied (justifiably) with the house and the children, that when she finally has time for the man, she is so wiped out that she just wants to rest. Thus, neglect severely hurts the male and sometimes this will lead the male away in search of praise. Woman can also be lead astray when their hard work is not rewarded with praise.

The book suggests, and backs up with data, that THIS is why so many marriages fail.

Spot on. I've said this many times but not so eloquently.

[alexey]

For all the men here who THINK that a stay-at-home mom has it made compared to a working mom, have you actually ever done it??? Hate to break it to you but I would say the mom at home has just as hard as job. I know this because I was layed off and become a stay at home dad for a little but and to be honest I would rather be working 50 hours a week then doing that. Remember when you work for a living you have a place to hide from everything. When you are at home all the time, there is no place to get away. Before you say something is easier actually try it for once, you might be surprised

I'm lucky to have found a wife who shares my values... she decided to invest her time into our children instead of going off to work and shipping them to day care... It seems that another difficult thing about staying at home is, well, staying at home. When you go off to work you have a chance of pace, a change of scenery, social interactions with adults, etc. Not having that change of scenery and hanging out with little children all the time can be very taxing emotionally.

[TD_washingtonredskins]

I'm lucky to have found a wife who shares my values... she decided to invest her time into our children instead of going off to work and shipping them to day care... It seems that another difficult thing about staying at home is, well, staying at home. When you go off to work you have a chance of pace, a change of scenery, social interactions with adults, etc. Not having that change of scenery and hanging out with little children all the time can be very taxing emotionally.

I think that's the key. I'll maintain that staying at home all the time and raising kids is much tougher than doing what I'm doing (and I'm VERY involved with my children when I get home/on weekends). But, to know that you are in the 'real world' with adult interactions is a huge help.

[Ellis]

Maybe this is why stay at home mom's love watching Oprah so much... it's the only adult social interaction they get away from the kids.

I'm just kidding of course... although I feel there's a slight hint of truth to it.