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Help me figure out a good punishment


TMK9973

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So heres the background. My 9 year old son sprained his thumb pretty bad playing football last week. He got nailed on a hit and was actually so out of it we took him to the hospital.

Truth was only his thumb was injured. He was feeling out of it mostly because he had played the entire game in major heat. Once he got cooled down, it was only his thumb that was injured.

It's been in a splint all week and went to the Dr's yesterday with my ex wife to see if he would be cleared to play. He was not and was told he would not be cleared until next week.

Apparently he lost it in the Dr's office and was very upset about not playing.

He called me afterwards and was trying to tell me that the only reason the Dr didnt clear him was the ex wife pressured the Dr to say that he couldn't play. My ex lost it, told him he was lying and was going to be punished.

Her punishment for him was that he was not allowed to watch the Redskins game this weekend.

My son is a HUGE Redskins fan, and we haven't missed a game in 5 years (Yes - He has been watching since he was about 4). I told her I think she over-reacted and came up with a extreme punishement for him, she argued that she has tried grounding him and such but it hasn't work, that his attitude towards her has gotten worse (I don't see it. He isn't the same when he is with me. In fairness however my daughter is a angel with her and more agreesive with me. It's a boy / girl thing I think).

So, she has said that if I can come up with a better punishement short of the missing a Redskins game she will consider it. Any ideas?

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Yes.

Don't question your ex's punishment. Respect and support her decision.

in a perfect world........

In front of him - I have told him flat out that its mom's call and I'm not going to try to change her mind...

But I do disagree and told her. I think it is a extreme. The kid has gone through a lot of change over the past 3 years, and the watching the skins every week has been the consistent thing he looks forward to, and actually calms him down. He sinks everything in to it. It's a escape for him.

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in a perfect world........

In front of him - I have told him flat out that its mom's call and I'm not going to try to change her mind...

But I do disagree and told her. I think it is a extreme. The kid has gone through a lot of change over the past 3 years, and the watching the skins every week has been the consistent thing he looks forward to, and actually calms him down. He sinks everything in to it. It's a escape for him.

Man I wish I had grown up now. Not watching a Redskins game is an "extreme punishment?" Have you SEEN the Redskins lately? Hell, I'm inclined to think she was trying to do the young man an "extreme favor!" Yeah, when we were kids, would that have been a fate worse than death? Sure! The Redskins were good when we were kids.

These days, you tell him he can't watch the game, he misses having his little heartbroken, gets to play some playstation, or *gasp* gets to go play football with his friends. Heck, maybe I'LL skip the game this week too! lol

Seriously though, raising kids with an ex sucks for all involved. The one thing that I've found that makes it suck less is being on the same page when it comes to the kids. She should've told you what happened BEFORE leveling her punishment. She didn't. That's on her. But IMHO, it's still on you to support her as your son's mother.

EXPECT him to find out if you tell him "it's mom's decision, and I'm not going to try to change it." I know women are neeeeeever spiteful...lol...but say she drops that on him when she's pissed off about something. Suddenly, you're a liar, and she has no authority. Come on man, it's a football game. Suck it up, and make it up to him in two weeks.

I hope I'm not coming across as a jackass here. I really do wish you all the best. And what I'm saying, I've learned from trial....and lots of error.

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I was just thinking....

You could have him write two letters. One to the doctor, and one to his mom. Have him apologize to both, and promise to work on doing a better job of handling things the right way.

He could ask for permission at the end of the letter to mom to have her reconsider, and choose another punishment. :)

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I was just thinking....

You could have him write two letters. One to the doctor, and one to his mom. Have him apologize to both, and promise to work on doing a better job of handling things the right way.

He could ask for permission at the end of the letter to mom to have her reconsider, and choose another punishment. :)

I like this solution the best. Spoken like a true ex!

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*Looks at age*

If you still have hope for DC sports after what we've been through, I'm impressed.

As a Redskins/Caps/Wizards/Hokies fan, I expect disappointment year in and year out.

I actually meant that somewhat sarcastically, my computer wouldn't let me post the Jesse Jackson pic to go along with it lol .

And although I'm only a fan of the Skins and Terps locally, it still sucks when the home reams can't put together a winning season, or choke in the playoffs. Things are definitely looking up though, we just have to stay patient. Sorry to hijack the thread btw, I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

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in a perfect world........

In front of him - I have told him flat out that its mom's call and I'm not going to try to change her mind...

So if the punishment gets changed, you don't think he'll suspect even a little bit that his Redskins fan old man (or even just the parent he perceives as friendlier) had something to do with it?

I found all the answers hilarious, but the only one that seems truly reasonable is honorary_hog's. That said, I don't have kids of my own and I've never been divorced.

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Yes.

Don't question your ex's punishment. Respect and support her decision.

Agreed, there is enough tension between former spouses and children without allowing the kids to play divide and conquer, you may not like the punishment, but if it's whats needed to get his attention and to get him under control then one game is a small price IMO.

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