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Hunger strike started today


Capt Rich Fla

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I've pretty much reached the end if my rope. It's clear that there is nothing I can do to get my kids back. Instead I will be forced to pay an extreme amount of money to their mother. I'm going to have to get extra jobs, day & night just to pay her money. There's no way I will be able to keep my home. I will not even be able to see my kids because of the time I've got to work to pay their mother, who just bought a new home. Guess who will be paying for that and her car.

Most everybody knows the story of what went on in my disasterous marriage and that I've been fighting tooth and nail to seek justice. Fact is there is no justice. Every day for the next 16 years I will be a slave to her and her boyfriend. Everything I do will be for them. They will watch me like a hawk to make sure I'm keeping their cash flow coming in & if it slows they will call me a deadbeat and throw me in jail. I'm literaly the slave to my X and the man she cheated on me with. Child support is a very bad word. Let's call it what it is, legal slavery.

I'm not going to be able to live like this. Working three jobs, day and night to give another man the money for him to take my status as daddy. Sure he'll use my money to send her to dance classes, but will she ever know that I'm the one paying for it. He will be Santa clause and I will just be some guy living in a basement apartment with nothing for them. How will I ever be able to face my kids? I won't be able to spend time with my kids because of the work & I will again look like a deadbeat dad.

Someone has to make a stand for fathers rights & that someone is me. We have no rights. We are nothing more than sperm donors. Peple think that because women go through the birth that the man doesn't get any rights. Those girls are my life, my blood, my love. I would die for either one of them without a second thought. They are gone from me now. My life has been taken away.

So, from this day forward there will not be a crumb of food to pass my lips until someone sees the injustice that has taken place or WORSE.

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A few things, Rich.

First of all, I care about you man, and so do a lot of other people on this board and in the rest of your life. I understand where you are right now. I really do. I could've written the same post, almost word for word.

However.

Hurting yourself, whether it be with alcohol, a razor blade, or lack of food is not the answer. (And I say that with all respect. I admire the lengths you're willing to go to to say what desperately needs to be said.)

You've been hurt enough. And so have the rest of us in similar situations. Why add to that ourselves? It doesn't make sense. And this is coming from someone who drank a MINIMUM of a 12-pack a night for a year-and-a-half to try to cope.

I've always said that if I hit the lottery, my full-time job will be to fly around the country and pay the legal bills of men fighting divorce/custody cases. We DON'T have a voice. And we NEED one desperately.

Unfortunately, none of us have the financial resources to be that voice, for obvious reasons. But if you want to seriously look into starting a non-profit (I'm not sure how that works, honestly) I will dedicate my life to the cause. I share your passion, your frustration, and well, let's call it what it is, desperation. And I'm more than willing to channel that into fighting the fight.

I don't know if you still have my number or not, but if you don't, and you want to talk, shoot me a PM, OK? Just trust me, the solution to Rich's pain isn't hurting Rich further. And that's coming from a voice of experience.

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Good luck to you.

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So, from this day forward there will not be a crumb of food to pass my lips until someone sees the injustice that has taken place or WORSE.

Lucky for you, that doesn't rule out smoothies and milkshakes. Sounds pretty sweet actually.

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I don't have any quick solutions for you, yet I feel there's got to be a lot of different options over what you're doing.

What you're going through hasn't happened to me personally, though I know someone who's been screwed like you have been. This man's determination against his ex-wife, against his ex-wife's boyfriends, against his former in-laws and against the low-rent state he's living in, were all overcome.

Legally he got his butt handed to him on a weekly basis. Yet he continued to fight.

If he was late with alimony by a day, he was taken to court. His ex-wife lied to his employers and got him fired from jobs, all without any recourse for him. And yet he continued to fight.

He lives on a meager existence and works ridiculously hard to just pay his rent and feed himself. And he still pushes on.

The son he fought to play a part in raising was two when this battle began. There were some really low moments over the years. In a few short months the boy will turn 18. And both the father and son will have won. The father fought to help raise his son right, despite repeatedly having to battle for minimum visitation rights. And the son will have won knowing he's got a dad who loves him enough to fight for almost 16 years.

Capt. Rich, you too can win this fight. Not to channel Jimmy V too much, but just don't give up.

If that doesn't convince you let me really tug at your emotions. If you give up now Rich you're going to miss our next Super Bowl win.

Fight the fight my friend, lot's of people will be pulling for you.

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I have never been married and I think after reading your post it will stay that way. Who came up with this law anyway? If it was a man he needs to be beaten like a :beatdeadhorse:anyway, I hope things get better for you my friend and they will. child support is federally mandated based on current income level, and you can file to modify based on income for immediate relief. The court factors child support on tax returns so you can structure your 2010 return to look like you make 15k/year. This is why so many self employed/contractor guys do side jobs to survive. Every system has a loophole.

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Sorry.

How old are the kids? I would seriously think about just leaving the country if I had an ex that was bleeding me dry. Screw that. Extradite me *****. I would set up trusts in their name that I would give them at adulthood and explain what a cheating whore their mother was.

I'm half kidding, but I feel your pain.

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1. Divorce sucks. Although I am already assuming you would never get married again without a pre-nup.

2. You don't have to work 3 jobs. If your income drops, your payments will drop accordingly.

3. No food strike.

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Hey Rich,

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I wish I had the answer for you but I don't.

Like Honorary_Hog said, hurting yourself through hunger is not going to do you or your children any good.

There must be extenuating circumstances, have you spoken with your attorney?

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By the way, this has been a them of the last month of my life - friends having awful experiences with the family courts.

There is a general problem here in that a lot of people think they know how the family courts operate when in reality, they have no idea. So, they go in with these skewed expectations and then get hammered by reality.

I wish there was a show like Law and Order about the Family Court system - though that show would cause a 32.6 percent spike in the national suicide rate.

Seriously, if you ever end up in a divorce/custody situation...try to go to a mediator instead of court.

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Educate me. How is it that you have to take on extra jobs just to make your payments. Did the court decide that you had to pay more than you earn? I thought child support was largely based on income, though admittedly I have little knowledge on the subject.

BTW - This is why my father said from day one that the ONLY quality that is required for a wife is that she be a good person. He said you can marry an ugly woman and be happy. You can marry a stupid woman and be happy. But if you marry a woman that is nice to YOU and not a person possessing an uncompromisingly good heart, she will eventually tire of you and make it her mission in life to ruin yours.

I found a hot professional woman that insists we volunteer and give back to the community as much as possible... dad is pleased :)

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I fully support your hunger strike. (as long as you stop before serious injury) Something needs done to bring attention to the last true inequality in our society.

The numbers don't lie. If justice was truly blind, we'd expect to see a 50/50 rate in awarded custody. It's as much as 95% in some locations for the mother and rarely drops below 80%.

Stand outside the courthouse every day. Get the media on board.

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The only thing that will fix this is counseling and time.

I had an 11month old and a 4yr old girl when my ex left and moved in with another.

I thought my world had ended. and yes i had to pay 800 a month as they made twice as much. craptacular i know.

Now they are 7 and 11 and I am in the best place in my life (i feel i should send him a thank you during xmas).

Don't mess up a great future coming... if you live it well it will pay you back.

You can pm me about our stories but they appear to match so other than grabbing a beer i feel you already know the first 4 chapters.

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Sounds like you got a horrible deal. Nothing is more bitter and divisive than family court. I know men who have been burned there, and I know women who have been burned by family court as well, with husbands who hide assets and lie and refuse to support their kids at all because they want to get back at their ex-wives. Something about combining the court system with broken marriages always seems to end up with everyone angry and no one satisfied.

All I can tell you is the old cliche - don't take out your anger at your ex (no matter how deserved) on your children. It's not the kids' fault.

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I'm serious about making a public stink. I'm gonna try to take it all the way to television. Those children are every bit as much mine as hers & as bad as it is to take children away from their mother, it's just as bad to take them away from some of us fathers.

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Sounds like you got a horrible deal. Nothing is more bitter and divisive than family court. I know men who have been burned there, and I know women who have been burned by family court as well, with husbands who hide assets and lie and refuse to support their kids at all because they want to get back at their ex-wives. Something about combining the court system with broken marriages always seems to end up with everyone angry and no one satisfied.

All I can tell you is the old cliche - don't take out your anger at your ex (no matter how deserved) on your children. It's not the kids' fault.

I notice in both your examples the mother got primary custody. Why is that seemingly so often the case? Gender equality is a goal of the US isn't it?

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Did the court not let you modify your support payments? Or let you petition to have more visitation or custody? It looks like you got a really raw deal. Good luck with everything. Family law matters can be really ugly and it seems like too often, one side gets screwed.

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Did the court not let you modify your support payments? Or let you petition to have more visitation or custody? It looks like you got a really raw deal. Good luck with everything. Family law matters can be really ugly and it seems like too often, one side gets screwed.

I keep going to lawyers who say they can give me the world for another five thousand dollars & then after I pay them there's nothing they can do. I'm 17 grand in the hole. I have a new lawyer who says she can get it dropped. She the best I've seen so far. It's not a reduction I'm after. I shouldn't have to pay a nickel. They should have to pay me, but I don't want their money. I just want to be able to take care of my children myself.

HH & I have talked & we are going to try to put together some kind of movement together for fathers who have been screwed. There's no where for men to go to try to talk and figure out their options.

So this is the start of day two & my resolve is strong. I will not give up until laws are changed and light is shed on this problem.

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