So, My Dad just told me he is going to get Married

[Koolblue13]

First off, I think it's great. He hasn't has anybody in his life, since my Mom died in 87' and I worry about him being alone as he gets older (64).

The thing is, and I know some of you have heard me say this before, but he's Gay.

Now, that's not really something that has any bearing on anything in my life, because it's his choice and whatever makes him happy, should make me happy, but it's still pretty ****ing weird to understand.

I fought it for a long time, but in the past 8 years or so, we have become great friends and I've learned to accept this fact about him. I don't completely agree with it, but again, not my choice to make.

He has never thrown what he does in my face and I've never seen him with a boyfriend (an odd term to use for your 64 year old father)before, so him getting married and living with another man, is going to be yet another of lifes little challenges for me.

I just wanted to vent a little about this and I think I can handle it, but it's still throwing me for a bit of a loop.

[Ellis]

So he's marrying his boyfriend?

what state does he live in?

[Koolblue13]

So he's marrying his boyfriend?

what state does he live in?

PA. I know the gay marriage isn't legally recognized by many states, but that doesn't make it real, in real life terms anyway.

His Rabbi is going to marry him at his church.

My families best friends growing up, the woman became a Rabbi. She also has tattooes.

So, a Tattooed Rabbi, is going to marry my Gay Father at his cult like Church.

Make sense?

[GibbsFactor]

Do you know the BF? Is he there all the time now? If so, nothing much will change.

[Ellis]

the only thing missing is a pit bull that doesn't attack people.

[TimmySmith]

Is he going to be your step-father or step-mother?

[GibbsFactor]

My mom got re-married late in life (mostly to provide her new husband with her insurance) but they had lived together for about 8 years prior. Nothing changed within our relationships.

[No_Pressure]

So, a Tattooed Rabbi, is going to marry my Gay Father at his cult like Church.

Make sense?

There isn't anything out of the ordinary in that sentence. :paranoid:

[Koolblue13]

the only thing missing is a pit bull that doesn't attack people.

He has my non aggressive Akita a lot.

Do you know the BF? Is he there all the time now? If so, nothing much will change.

They don't live together now, because my sister and niece live with him, but when they move out, his boyfriend will sell his victorian in Lancaster and move in with my Dad and buy a house in Key West.

That will be nice, but that's another entire level of Gay, that I don't know if I'm quite ready for.

[McD5]

That would absolutely blow me away.

You seem to be handling it well. Good luck with it.

[Koolblue13]

Is he going to be your step-father or step-mother?

He's going to be whatever his name is. I won't be calling him anything "father or mother" like.

Although, in the gay community that I live and work in, we do call my Dad Nana George.

But that isn't a catcher pitcher kind of comment and that is not something I really care to discuss. The intricacies of my Dads sex life is really none of my business.

[HighOnHendrix]

This is definitely "throwing me for a bit of a loop"-worthy.

[HailYeah]

I fought it for a long time, but in the past 8 years or so, we have become great friends and I've learned to accept this fact about him. I don't completely agree with it, but again, not my choice to make.

Do you feel like its his choice to make? What does he say?

[Koolblue13]

That would absolutely blow me away.

You seem to be handling it well. Good luck with it.

Like I said, just another of lifes little loops, it likes to throw.

[Koolblue13]

Do you feel like its his choice to make? What does he say?

It's absolutely his choice to make, the choice of who he will fall in love with and if he accepts it and is happy.

What does he say about what?

[Koolblue13]

BTW, the greatest Tight End ever was a Redskin and more of a Wide Receiver, if you know what I mean.

[Teller]

A lot to digest there, for sure, Kool. But I look at it this way....

Your dad is your dad. His preference is what it is. (I happen to believe that homosexuals can no sooner change their sexuality than you or I, but I don't want to get into that whole debate.

The bottom line is that if the man has loved you, and raised you in a way that earned your respect, then there's ZERO reason for that to change.

Be there for the wedding, support them as you would any other married couple, and enjoy your family. Life is too short to handle it any other way.

I should say too, that my mom, while straight, has many gay friends. Many of them have become dear friends of mine. And frankly, I see no difference between the love that her friends share, and that of any hetero couple. Was it a little strange to get used to at first? Sure. But I can say with certainty that if I had excluded them from my life, the loss would have been entirely mine.

[Chachie]

KB- That's awesome news. You will be even happier for your dad from here on because you'll know he's not alone romantically or security-wise. Congrats to him.

edit- Not to mention the cool Key West connection.

[757SeanTaylor21]

my question is, how he go from a woman to a man?

[Koolblue13]

The bottom line is that if the man has loved you, and raised you in a way that earned your respect, then there's ZERO reason for that to change.

You're exactly right with this.

But, it's still going to take a bit for this to sink in.

I guess it's like always knowing you had a chronic heart problem, but it has finally become enough of an issue, that I finally need the surgery. Does that make sense?

[HOF44]

So what you got planned for the bachelor party???

[Koolblue13]

KB- That's awesome news. You will be even happier for your dad from here on because you'll know he's not alone romantically or security-wise. Congrats to him.

Ultimately, you're correct and I know I will.

[Koolblue13]

So what you got planned for the bachelor party???

:ols:

I think I'll be sitting this one out.

[Chachie]

Ultimately, you're correct and I know I will.

Check my edit.

[Teller]

You're exactly right with this.

But, it's still going to take a bit for this to sink in.

I guess it's like always knowing you had a chronic heart problem, but it has finally become enough of an issue, that I finally need the surgery. Does that make sense?

Sure it does.

But in time, it will make sense. It will become normal. And your dad's (husband?) will become just another part of your family.

I remember the first time I took a trip with my mom and a gay couple she's close to. Hearing them call each other "baby" was a little bizarre. But now they're good friends of mine, and it's just like being around any other couple I know....gay or straight.

It's funny to read this, because I've often wondered about my mom. Most of her friends, male and female are gay. She tells me she's not, and that's fine. If she is, that's fine. Like I said, she's the person I respect most in this world. Good Lord, she raised ME. She should probably be a saint.

Mom and I have talked about it a little, and that's what I told her. 1) It's none of my business. 2) If she wants to discuss it, she can talk to me anytime. And 3) If she ever has "news" to break to me, nothing changes. Period.

Course, that's easier said than done too. But in theory, that's where I stand. (And I can only hope that the character she raised me to have will ensure that it's true in practicality when/if that day comes.)