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(Funny) Cracked: The 5 Creepiest Defense Attorney Websites


Destino

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Not a video, text and images. Mostly work safe.

http://www.cracked.com/article_18408_the-5-creepiest-defense-attorney-websites.html

Sadly, I have never been poor. I was never forced to pull myself up by my bootstraps. I'm not even sure what bootstraps are exactly but I am certain that if I ever owned any, one of the servants did the pulling for me. Without hopelessness of poverty in my life, there are quadrants of the human condition with which I am unfamiliar. Criminal life, alcoholism and domestic abuse are the choice friends of desperation alone. They all sit in the parking lot together on the hood of a Camero, smoking cigarettes and looking cool.

I am jealous.

I would pray for the bottomless writing opportunity available in that kind of destitution if only praying for things wasn't equally as foreign to me. So, unable to join their ranks, I can only fantasize about being one of the dredges of society; I think about drug deals going south, I neglect my plants like illegitimate children and I spend a lot of time on defense attorney websites.

These websites, it turns out, are a goldmine of information about, for and written by desperate people. They are exactly as overt as you would expect them to be, only more so. I have compiled my favorite five for your enjoyment. Or, if you are a criminal feeling the firm, calloused hand of legality bend you gently over a witness stand, these websites may help. Also, let's hang out, I have a lot of questions

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These jerks should be suspended or disbarred.

Yeah, but on what grounds? For being a jerk? If you disbarred all the jerks, who'd be left to do all the lawyerin'? All the out-of-work courthouse cabdrivers? :silly:

Anyway, these jerks provide a valuable service to the public: because they understand that most true criminals are also jerks, and by appealing (heh) primarily to these jerkified criminals through their obnoxious ads, these ambulance-chasers draw the people who are the most likely to be guilty toward the legal representation that is most likely to piss off a judge!

Everbody wins! :)

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